Bottom is not hard

[MNpervert]

A big factor for me when bottoming is position. The only way I stay rock hard is if I am on top riding cowboy style. I rarely stay rock hard if I am bent over maybe just a semi and if I am the bottom in missionary I cannot stay hard without a helping hand.

 

[Alditra]

Depends on the curvature of a man’s cock. If his cock is curving downward, doggy or from behind is the optimal position where he’d be thrusting against the prostate

I ask that becos mostly cock curve upward, or just straight don't have a curve at all, not even slightly up or down, literally straight away forward

 

[dylandark123]

Hi everyone, u don't know how to make this question without sounding inexperienced. But here we go. I'm 32 years old and I have and 8 inch cock so I would say that I'm above average in that department, I'm versatile but when it comes to casual sex I'm only a top, lately I'm been fucking with this guy he is a bottom, he is younger than me (26) and I think the sex is great, I'm always looking for ways to please my bottoms, I want then to feel pleasure, cuz I've bottomed before and I want to feel pleasure as a bottom so when I'm a top I like to see the bottom rock hard and dripping precum, the thing with this guy is that he is not hard, he is hard when we are kissing and sucking but as soon I put my dick inside of him he starts to loose the erection, I've been fucking his hole for almost 2 hours and he didn't cum. He asked me to cum and I said "but you haven't cum yet" and he said that he couldn't while he was getting fuck. He said he loved it and he asked me to fuck him again, which I did, and same story, he was not hard and he didn't cum. I feel like I'm not pleasuring him. He asked me to fuck him again today and in my mind I'm feeling like a lousy lover, I haven't answered him yet. I guess my question goes to any bottom that can help me, like, is it normal? Do you feel pleasure even though you don't cum? Every other bottom I fucked was hard and always cum.

I know this post is a couple weeks old, but here are my 2 cents. I think the answer to your question is this, every reacts differently to bottoming. Some people don’t or can’t cum when bottoming. Every is different in terms of what they need to feel pleasure. In my experience, in the long run experiencing pleasure is more important than if you cum or not. I would ask your bottom what they want and need, then trust them, and do what they asked you to do. Check in with them during and after to make sure you gave them what they needed.

TLDR: Listen to your bottom and trust what they tell you

 

[curtain_swoosh]

its a misconception that a bottom needs to be hard when he gets fucked or cums. rhat just happens in porn all the time.

most bottoms just want to get fucked and stay soft.

so i wouldnt worry.

 

[hvdude]

its a misconception that a bottom needs to be hard when he gets fucked or cums. rhat just happens in porn all the time.

most bottoms just want to get fucked and stay soft.

so i wouldnt worry.

Agreed. When I used to bottom I wasn't focused on my dick, I was focused on the pleasure I was getting in my hole. Sometimes I was hard, others I wasn't. SO many things can play a factor. I don't think it is a referendum on the top's performance. As long as he cums, I did my part.

 

[steel33]

As a bottom I'm not hard when the top is fucking me. Am I turned on? Hell yes. Do I need to cum? Hell no. My pleasure is helping the guys I'm with get off. I can cum when getting fucked but after a point I get insatiable about having cocks in me and can be turned on for hours and cumming isn't my goal.

I can also cum while soft so being hard is not a good way to tell if I am turned on, my actions and responses will.

 

[mister.azmeth]

I think it's like having no gag reflex : it would be really sexy for me to get hard while bottoming and cumming hands free but unfortunately I can't. I've topped guys who are flacid or hard and both are fun. It's good to ask the question but don't get to anxious about it. There are many ways to enjoy sex !

 

[Nokatme]

Hi everyone, u don't know how to make this question without sounding inexperienced. But here we go. I'm 32 years old and I have and 8 inch cock so I would say that I'm above average in that department, I'm versatile but when it comes to casual sex I'm only a top, lately I'm been fucking with this guy he is a bottom, he is younger than me (26) and I think the sex is great, I'm always looking for ways to please my bottoms, I want then to feel pleasure, cuz I've bottomed before and I want to feel pleasure as a bottom so when I'm a top I like to see the bottom rock hard and dripping precum, the thing with this guy is that he is not hard, he is hard when we are kissing and sucking but as soon I put my dick inside of him he starts to loose the erection, I've been fucking his hole for almost 2 hours and he didn't cum. He asked me to cum and I said "but you haven't cum yet" and he said that he couldn't while he was getting fuck. He said he loved it and he asked me to fuck him again, which I did, and same story, he was not hard and he didn't cum. I feel like I'm not pleasuring him. He asked me to fuck him again today and in my mind I'm feeling like a lousy lover, I haven't answered him yet. I guess my question goes to any bottom that can help me, like, is it normal? Do you feel pleasure even though you don't cum? Every other bottom I fucked was hard and always cum.

Wow. This is a very sexy post. Like I know I'd enjoy you. Are you staying engaged while you're in him... kissing him and touching him? I think you'd be perfect for me but some guys I think just like a dick in their butt to be satisfied

 

[deleted15682271]

I'll weigh in on this. I'm semi hard at best when bottoming. But I can have an amazing orgasm soft. My guy friend, he is always hard when bottoming. It's really more of are they enjoying it, and how relaxed is their hole.

 

[Scott8361]

I am not hard when bottoming or even using toys in my ass, yet the pleasure is incredible! My prostate being stimulated gives me multiple waves of pleasure. I can ooze lots of fluid without being erect.

I remember one thick dicked guy who had the ability to fuck endlessly. He had a massage table and I was on my back, legs up. He was standing and thrusting deeply. He comnented that i had quite a puddle going on! I just kept oozing as he fucked me gloriously!

It's a different kind of orgasmic pleasure... more full body... and I can have multiple waves of it and still want more. I prefer it over a penile stimulated orgasm which is just one and done.

 

[Tomtom10]

It's a really personal thing tbh. When I first started bottoming, I think the excitement of something new helped maintain my erections, plus having come from a traditional 'straight' sexual background, it had always been based solely on my penis as the source of pleasure. As I bottomed more, I got more in-tune with the different sensations of anal, and when you focus on it, it's actually pretty intense.

I found then that the more I focussed on the anal stimulation, the less important/the less need I felt to touch my penis. I'd always be erect during foreplay, and at the point of penetration, but soon after, I'd go to more of a semi and would only get fully erect again if I touched my penis/masturbated.

We're years into my life as a near total bottom now and whilst I get hard for oral and foreplay, I'm now totally soft during sex - it's not that I don't enjoy it - It's the most incredible feeling in the world having a penis inside me. I just don't need to be erect to enjoy it. It took my bf a while to understand - he thought I wasn't enjoying it, despite my moans, my precum, and my eventual ejaculation. He'd only topped guy who'd stayed hard the whole time before. Literally, i'll be rock hard during foreplay, but as soon as he starts touching my hole, i'm completely soft within minutes - usually before he's penetrated me - and then I'm soft for the duration.

Do I miss erections during sex? Not really - they get in the way and they distract me from the anal pleasure.

 

[rockhardbttm]

It's a really personal thing tbh. When I first started bottoming, I think the excitement of something new helped maintain my erections, plus having come from a traditional 'straight' sexual background, it had always been based solely on my penis as the source of pleasure. As I bottomed more, I got more in-tune with the different sensations of anal, and when you focus on it, it's actually pretty intense.

I found then that the more I focussed on the anal stimulation, the less important/the less need I felt to touch my penis. I'd always be erect during foreplay, and at the point of penetration, but soon after, I'd go to more of a semi and would only get fully erect again if I touched my penis/masturbated.

We're years into my life as a near total bottom now and whilst I get hard for oral and foreplay, I'm now totally soft during sex - it's not that I don't enjoy it - It's the most incredible feeling in the world having a penis inside me. I just don't need to be erect to enjoy it. It took my bf a while to understand - he thought I wasn't enjoying it, despite my moans, my precum, and my eventual ejaculation. He'd only topped guy who'd stayed hard the whole time before. Literally, i'll be rock hard during foreplay, but as soon as he starts touching my hole, i'm completely soft within minutes - usually before he's penetrated me - and then I'm soft for the duration.

Do I miss erections during sex? Not really - they get in the way and they distract me from the anal pleasure.

It's funny how the body works because I was the total opposite. When I first started bottoming for the longest time could not stay hard. Half the time I couldn't even jack myself off while getting fucked. I would have to jack off after the fact.

As I got used to it both mentally and physically everything changed. Probably more mental than physical looking back. Now it if Im not hard when we start every thrust you can watch my cock grow harder and harder. It s kind of funny sometimes to watch.

In my early top days I did notice it was about 50/50. Half the bottoms were hard the others were soft.