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Condoms With Hookups

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by fuckersplit, Dec 3, 2020.

?

Do you use condoms with hookups?

  1. Yes

    20 vote(s)
    46.5%
  2. Sometimes

    13 vote(s)
    30.2%
  3. No

    10 vote(s)
    23.3%
  1. fuckersplit

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    I have seen many amateur porn lately where they don't use condom with hookups. I know it is regulated in the professional porn industry with tests.

    Therefore, I started to think: Do regular gay men use condoms when they are having sex with hookups? My policy is that I would only do bare if we were both tested and exclusive
     
  2. MancmanMatt

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    Depends on the situation. I have a fuck buddy who's HIV+, undetectable and has been that way for years. I don't see him as a risk factor for HIV in the slightest (partners study etc) and I take my chances with the other STDs. He's never given me anything though.

    Prep changes things when it comes to HIV transmission so if there's been good, open, communication from someone and we've talked a lot I'll go bare, but otherwise I always use a condom for anal. And if prep didn't exist I'd always use condoms for anal except in the conditions you state above.

    Ironically a HIV+ undetectable guy is the safest bet for a bareback hookup as he literally cannot give you HIV.

    The other STDs? Of course no one wants those either but I don't use condoms for oral and the transmission of the other STDs through oral is really high so...

    I mean who wants to suck a dick through a condom? I'd rather stay at home.

    I'm a top by the way with hook-ups. Which does change things as the risk from topping isn't as high as bottoming.

    The key to all of this is communication and knowledge. Know your science, know what questions to ask, know your window periods etc. Never meet with someone who is shady about discussing their sexual habits.

    Although with Corona having a hook-up is like finding a leprechaun.
     
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  3. fuckersplit

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    I live in very traditional country (Croatia) where Prep is not used by many people. I haven’t meet a person from my country (and I met many of them) who uses Prep.

    Other STD’s are more treatable and they don’t have such big effect on human body as HIV. I know oral is a risky but I agree with you that I would never suck a dick through a condom.
     
  4. 117623

    117623 Guest

    Full disclosure: I'm 33 years old and have never had anal sex. I don't know if I should answer the poll since that's usually the context people are referencing when discussing condom usage.

    For oral sex, I choose not to use condoms. When I first became sexually active, I would use flavored condoms made just for oral sex; but, after assessing the risk, I decided to forego them. As long as I'm not having oral with wounds in my mouth (sometimes I bite my cheek by mistake while chewing food!) and make sure I don't brush or floss for some time before engaging in oral sex, I think the risk is acceptable.

    As for anal sex: if I ever actually have a first time (lol), my view on this very well may change, but... I would probably always use a condom. Aside from the higher risk factor, there's also the fact that I've run into so many people on social media who became HIV positive after "trusting" someone or being in what they thought was an exclusive relationship. It always seems like something that happens to everyone else until it actually happens to you. How many people have to become a statistic before people realize that safer sex is still important? It's annoying to see people post on porn sites on gay sex videos where condoms are used saying something like, "Condom is a turnoff - it's 2020!" It's because it's 2020 that you should be using a condom!

    Then you have folks that talk about PreP like it's some sort of guarantee that you won't get anything. Even worse are those folks who do become HIV positive, and still insist on doing bareback! It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    (Or, perhaps, a self-replicating one. rofl)
     
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  5. MancmanMatt

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    Actually statistically speaking if you're on PrEP and taking it as it's intended (this is extremely important because lots of people don't) then you aren't going to get HIV. There are a couple of cases where men have contracted the virus when on the drug but in one case the strain of HIV had mutated an extremely rare resistance. Then in the other the man had taken something like 100 loads in his arse within a weekend and been exposed to so much HIV that it overwhelmed his system.

    If you're taking PrEP as intended then statistically you're probably more likely to get struck by lightning than getting HIV. And far more likely to die in some other freak accident on the way to the hook-up, or falling down the stairs and breaking your neck when answering the door to let him in.

    It's simple. When taken correctly PrEP works to prevent infection with HIV.

    Secondly men who get infected with HIV, and know about it, will be getting treatment. For the majority of people this means their viral load will fall to undetectable levels. When this happens you cannot, I will stress this again, cannot give HIV to someone. So yes, lots of men that get HIV, and are on treatment, carry on doing bareback because they can't infect anyone.

    An undetectable HIV+ man is the safest guy to have bareback sex with because he can't sero convert between routine tests, nor can he catch the virus on the sly when he's cheating on you.

    Condom is a turn off it's 2020!

    Because it's 2020 porn studios can use PCR testing for HIV. This detects the virus, not the antibodies, and will detect it within 7-10 days of infection, rather than 6-12 weeks. Because it's 2020 we know that an undetectable HIV+ porn star poses no risk to an HIV- co star. Because it's 2020 we know that PrEP works.

    Combine all HIV- porn stars being on PrEP with PCR testing before every scene and the risk of HIV infection, creeping in from somewhere, becomes even rarer than the lightning strike above.

    This is what I meant about getting educated because it is 2020 and not 1980 any more. Yes HIV isn't to be taken lightly, but you no longer have to fear it if you open your eyes to the latest research and medication. Do what's necessary to protect yourself and enjoy having sex the way you want to.
     
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  6. fuckersplit

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    But Prep is a medication which someone needs to use every single day. I don’t know if it is so bad to wear a condom so then you don’t need to take the pills. Also, Prep has side effects, mostly with kidney, liver and bone density which is not a joke. Prep is a revolution but it is not without it’s bad side
     
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  7. MancmanMatt

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    Of course but in the UK they do regular blood tests to make sure that the drug isn't affecting your health. No one said you need to take it all the time either. You can go on it for 3 months for a bit of bareback fun then stop taking it and go back to condoms. It's just another option to keep you safe.
     
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  8. Wine0

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    I use PrEP both continuously, and in a dry spell - I give it a rest and use it event based. Just as effective.

    I have a fairly de-sensitised head - so putting a condom on just ruins penetration for me. My partner is U=U, so I’m not just a keyboard warrior!

    For any random hookups, 95% of the time, I wouldn’t do anal anyway. Only if I see them again. Oral - never used on in my life.

    It’s about communication and trust as the OP said above.
     
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