crush

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

So i think i might need some advice on the following.

Lately i've been chatting with some guy I met online and at first i didn't pay much attention as it was just another online persona talking shit and about sex. Just like this place. But then when we would IM each other, instead of talking about sex, we end up talking about other things like films, music, family, relationships, personal situations etc.... Like more personal things that normally you wouldn't really talk about with random hookups because they're more...personal. And we seem to have a lot in common which scares me a bit. So i am developing a crush on this person but then we haven't met yet although he wants to this week and we haven't even chatted on the phone although he asked for my number and my personal e-mail. We have exchanged text messages and e-mails.
We both seem to want the same in a serious relationship but i can't figure out if he's talking in general or indirectly saying something to me. I wrote once to him that via e-mail that I am finding a deeper connection to him and he wrote back and said that i made him feel good when i wrote that and that he also values my conversations with him.
the thing that throws me off is that when i first text him, he didn't know who i was and i was like "why would u ask for my number and not add it to your cell phone list?" Am i the only one who would do that because I mean i'd like to know who is calling me.
now he's the one who suggested to want to meet me this week. I'm open to that why not. But there are things he does that really throw me off. We've discussed past relatinoships how we've both been burned and perhaps like me, he's taking careful steps???
So what do u guys think??

 

[B_AZBiGuy]

It sounds like he's just being cautious (like you are... and both of you SHOULD be!)... meet him somewhere. Have a cup of coffee. Don't have sex with him. See if the physical connection is as strong as the mental connection has been.

This life is too short not to take a risk on what could potentially be a wonderful friendship or relationship.

 

[B_boynextdoorkpt]

I guess you should like meet in public. I am really wanting to start a relationship with a man, but I think that I am not men's type I guess. Anyway, I wish you luck and success!
Landon

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

Don't have sex with him.

why not??

and thanks guys.

i think i should've put this on the discrimination section but then it would've collided with boynextdoor's thread :tongue:

 

[B_AZBiGuy]

well... have sex with him if you waaaaaaaaannnnnt... buuuuuuut in case he's the "hit it and quit it" type, you should be ready for that.

remember what your momma said, "Don't give away the milk for free... make him buy the whole damned cow!"

 

[D_Mainssworthe Maleorgan]

Agreed.

Do the coffee thing in public, maybe a goodnight kiss or hug, but no SEXING!

Remember how Monica sang it : "I wanna get down, but not the first night.":tongue:

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

But i don't want him to think I'm a prude ;/

Maybe not have sex but keep the conversation somewhat sexual??

 

[B_AZBiGuy]

there is absolutely nothing wrong with hinting about what "could" happen at a second date...

 

[Marissa1]

I am a woman here, so probably I have no real credence when it comes to giving advice to a gay...but, I agree that you should not have sex with him straight away. You are worried thinking he might think you a prude? Well, I think that he would respect you more, and think you are respecting him also and thinking the relationship could be more special than a first-time hook-up which could leave him feeling like you are a slut! I would opt for the "prude" route instead.

You already state that you have some red flags....so why are you jumping the gun and thinking about sex already? I would listen to those red flags and take it slow to see how those resolve out and if your connection is what you think it is. Then progress and top it off with the physicasl apsect of it.

Please let us know what happens at your meeting.

 

[8060]

remember what your momma said, "Don't give away the milk for free... make him buy the whole damned cow!"

Exactly!

 

[8060]

But i don't want him to think I'm a prude ;/

Maybe not have sex but keep the conversation somewhat sexual??

Right. You don't have to sleep with him right away. You've chatted & exchanged a couple of instant messages. Try flirting with his mentality up close & personal. Then, see if the attraction is still there. A hot body & a hot brain. Now, that's hot sex on the platter. No rush though. Anticipation is good for all.

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

Marluc...you have to decide what you want...if you want to make this a potential long relationship, then go ahead, meet and see if there is a spark of some sort. Get to know him before you hand your goodies over. If you just want a one time (or maybe a couple of times) sex romp, then go for that. But then don't be disapointed when he doesn't call you back or the relationship sours after a few weeks.

Meeting people online can work and develop into something more than a sexual relationship. However, you have to decide first what it is you want. Perhaps chatting on the phone beforehand would alleviate some of your concerns and make you feel more comfortable before your face to face meet. Sometimes it is not possible to get the message across via email or text messaging. You might find that you have a whole lot more in common if you talk via phone.

Good luck with this....

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

thanks guys. Yeah we haven't spoken on the phone yet which i think is weird in a way. perhaps i should give him a call. I find myself always having to make the first bold move although he always responds and not in a superficial way. But i hate the fact that it has to be me to make that first bold move. It seems he got really hurt in his past relationship due to a severe case of lack of trust (the guy cheated on him numerous times and did drugs) and i'm thinking he's ambivalent about dating someone else? He's a non-scene kind of guy. He's more of a homebody. We discussed about what we'd want in a serious relationship and we seem to have the same ideals. Oh and everytime i talk about going somewhere he has a tendency to ask me if i'm going with someone and i find that a bit interesting.

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

although i should make mention in regards to me being always the one to have to start up something is that he's a bottom from what he told me. I told you we had some sexual talk and um, i can't help but think that bottoms are like women where they won't make the first move in anything. Just like a bitch lol

I know there are bottoms that must be more aggresive BUT i would say most are not???

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

Make the first move and call him. It might be worth it !!

 

[Marissa1]

i can't help but think that bottoms are like women where they won't make the first move in anything. Just like a bitch lol

HEY! I am defending my gender here! Watch it!

I just have to say...."Let HIM chase YOU until YOU catch HIM" !!!!!!

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

HEY! I am defending my gender here! Watch it!

I just have to say...."Let HIM chase YOU until YOU catch HIM" !!!!!!

:kidding:

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

so we talked about calling each other and i said sure. But i never did. I waited to see if he'd call me first and he did.

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

so we talked about calling each other and i said sure. But i never did. I waited to see if he'd call me first and he did.

and??? how did it go?

 

[sexplease]

men chase men like men chase women.

If you 2 haven't a [lasting] compatible sexual chemistry, at best you may have a new friend. And good friends are priceless.
Walk side-by-side taking turns leading.

M*