Cumming

[londonhanger]

How important is it to you that the guy your with cums during sex? Is it a big deal / insult if it doesn't always happen?

 

[TinyPrincess]

Fringe benefit?

Nice if he does. No problem if he doesn't

 

[EllieP]

I will do my best, but if he doesn't well, then he doesn't.

Remember, if you're paying too much attention to the destination you'll miss the journey!

 

[918177]

I don't make an issue about it or it'll be come an issue.

Men get all up in their heads about performance and any perceived deficit
in their heads translates into the physical.

Dragging him off that mouse wheel of negative inner dialogue is fairly important so
I make a point of making it a positive experience regardless.

 

[1209489]

I would be curious to why he didn’t, but the main thing would be to openly communicate about it . I wouldn’t want either of us to feel inadequate in that kind of situation. Together we could come up with different techniques to find that ultimate pleasure.

 

[693987]

I care if my partner has an orgasm. I prefer if he does, but have no hang ups if he doesn't. He has some old injuries (former military) that flare up on occasion, so sometimes we have to do a rain check on having sex. Unsurprisingly, when that happens my concern is for him to not hurt as much, not "oh no he didn't ejaculate". We talk about everything. Often. So I have no issues of any sort about it.

Sometimes people are stressed. Sometimes people hurt. Sometimes stuff doesn't happen. If it happened often, we would communicate to determine what was going on. The only times I've been intimate with someone and they haven't had an orgasm during sex was because of health or it was part of kinky play. Old injury flaring up, migraine developing, orgasm denial, etc.

In any case, I like people I'm intimate with to enjoy themselves as much or more than I do. Sometimes that doesn't include sex. Sometimes that doesn't include orgasm.

 

[Enid]

Why do you have 2 threads about this

 

[londonhanger]

Why do you have 2 threads about this

Typo on first - your, not you're. It was meant to be an edit, not a duplication. Is there a way to delete one?

 

[AlteredEgo]

How does HE feel about it? That's how I feel about it.

 

[Enid]

I wish all women worried about things like this

like what? having an orgasm?

i HATE if a partner is focused on me having an orgasm because then i feel pressure. i want to enjoy the experience and then i might have an orgasm too (maybe)! otherwise, as for his or her pleasure, i try to help but mostly i just want to have a good time and not pressure or raise expectations or make someone feel like they HAVE TO cum because i myself would hate that. i want to have happy good fun time. i want someone to feel comfortable and relaxed enough to enjoy themselves the way they can in that moment.

 

[londonhanger]

Thanks all. Interesting to read.

I'm giving cognitive hypnotherapy a try next week to see if I can re-wire the part of my brain responsible for cumming.

 

[286798]

I was with a guy who frequently had problems getting there. First couple times I chalked it up to his being overweight/out of shape because he said he got overheated. Then it happened again... and again... and again. I went into my head, wondering if he wasn't into me, if it was because I had gained some happy weight, etc. It did a number on my self esteem and i felt a little guilty getting mine when he didnt... which affected my ability to get there. It wasn't until much, much later that he admitted to being on antidepressants which affected his ability to get there. I wish he had said so much earlier.

 

[Holly Doors]

Wouldn't bother me, I'd bring him off after if necessary.

 

[1288964]

To be honest for me it's quite essential, maybe my own insecurity. But I get off on a man's pleasure. And cum is the icing on the cake. Maybe I'm too obsessed with it. But i love that feeling when a man cums. If a man doesn't cum I feel I did something wrong. It hurts me. I like when a man uncontrollable enjoys my body and cums in my pussy or mouth. Mouth is my preference.

 

[deleted848353]

id be slightly disappointed

also men who arent the op this is ask a woman so u cant post

 

[sweetlucky12]

There are times my guy doesn’t and it seems like it’s usually the absolute best sex ever for me in the instances when he doesn’t. At first I felt horrible about it, but he’s ok with it so now I am too. He’s always taken a while to finish and we’ve chalked it up to him focusing more on my pleasure. On some occasions we give him a little manual stimulation to get him there, on others we just forget it and cuddle.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

It would depend on the circumstances.

Is he cumming when he masturbates? Is it a physical thing or a mental one? Either way I wouldn't be offended or disappointed.. I would just talk to him about it and see how he felt. If he was frustrated I'd let him know I'm willing to experiment and see what we could do to get him there, and that if we never do I'm not gonna leave over it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

How important is it to you that the guy your with cums during sex? Is it a big deal / insult if it doesn't always happen?

If he's happy, I'm happy.

 

[TinyPrincess]

If he's happy, I'm happy.

+1