Delayed Ejaculation

[adarrow714]

hey guys. I really could use some advice.

So I just came out not too long ago, and now that I’m starting to get sexual with other guys. I realized that I can’t ejaculate unless it’s by my own hand. Not from oral, anal, or the other persons touch. Looked into it, and it seems like it’s delayed ejaculation. Probably from all the years growing up, only fantasizing about going through with the act, watching porn etc.

I’m not sure what to do. I was wondering if anyone had any advice or tips on maybe how to combat this issue. It’s really killing my self esteem, and I’m already noticing that I’m shying away from physical acts, or just even meeting people in general in fear that things may turn sexual and I won’t be able to perform, or satisfy my partner.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[Beanie]

Ok so... for me there’s a lot of questions that need to be answered that could narrow down the solution to your ‘problem’, if you don’t mind answering them of course. How old are you? What were your previous relationships like and with which gender? What position are you in the bedroom? How often do you watch porn to masturbate? Are you taking any medication that could be interfering?

Just off the top of my head at the moment.

 

[adarrow714]

Ok so... for me there’s a lot of questions that need to be answered that could narrow down the solution to your ‘problem’, if you don’t mind answering them of course. How old are you? What were your previous relationships like and with which gender? What position are you in the bedroom? How often do you watch porn to masturbate? Are you taking any medication that could be interfering?

Just off the top of my head at the moment.

I’m 25. Came out two years ago. Sadly have had only a handful of sexual encounters. Lived a life truly in the closet afraid to try anything. Only been with men since. Haven’t had any serious relationships really. I’m a top.
And less frequent porn now, but obviously growing up, was quite a bit and quite often. Nervous that my past habits did some permanent damage that I won’t be able to reverse today... that’s sadly what it seems like. also no medication that should affect that, I think?

 

[Beanie]

I’m 25. Came out two years ago. Sadly have had only a handful of sexual encounters. Lived a life truly in the closet afraid to try anything. Only been with men since. Haven’t had any serious relationships really. I’m a top.
And less frequent porn now, but obviously growing up, was quite a bit and quite often. Nervous that my past habits did some permanent damage that I won’t be able to reverse today... that’s sadly what it seems like. also no medication that should affect that, I think?

Ok that is very helpful. The da t that you thin that you have made “permanent damage” concerns me as that just isn’t true.

So what makes you afraid? What makes you nervous? I think personally your ‘problem’ isn’t physical but physiological. How you view your self sexually has a massive impact and that’s what is driving this delay.

 

[adarrow714]

Ok that is very helpful. The da t that you thin that you have made “permanent damage” concerns me as that just isn’t true.

So what makes you afraid? What makes you nervous? I think personally your ‘problem’ isn’t physical but physiological. How you view your self sexually has a massive impact and that’s what is driving this delay.

It honestly very well might be. Maybe I just lived in the closet too long and now have anxiety over performance issues? Idk. I guess attempting to do something different physically to my routine or actual penis that would make sex feel different, at least a little better, would probably help alleviate some of that. Like there’s hope, and then I’d stress about it less.

 

[Beanie]

Well if you think about that most men go through what you’re going through in their teens it makes sense. If I were you I would lay off the masturbation at least a little at first.

I think you should be open and honest with sexual partners, they are going to be more understanding that you think. We’ve all been through that coming out stage and know how difficult it is. Take it easy and slow, go with the flow and don’t put too many expectations on it, you’d be surprised how much just being in another mans company can make a difference to how you feel.