Did I cheat?

[B_RedDude]

Naaah

There was know agreement that I know of, unless he offhandedly mentioned something that I might have missed =/

 

[Brick7]

I think a person who sleeps over after a sex act is acting like a boyfriend. But that's just me.

You took his word about it and stepped out to have a sex contact with somebody else, but it didn't make you happier. Try telling him about it, and the way he reacts will give you a lot more information about how he feels.

It could go two ways: either it will surprise him that he feels jealous and he gets more serious with you, or you will be surprised about how cool he is about it and will get less serious with him. If you get less serious, maybe you should quit letting him sleep over after sex. Your bed is for cuddling. With a boyfriend.

I agree with this. Tell him and see how he reacts. It will let you know how he really feels about you and your relationship.

 

[denton85]

well this just seems like your 'relationship' is in question more so than the 'incident'

he wants to be friends, and have sex.

you want to have a boyfriend.

you've asked him to be your boyfriend, and he for all essential purposes rejecting the notion.

i guarantee that if got blown by someone else he wouldn't consider it cheating, but you probably would because you seem to have more of an emotional attachment.

So basically, in only your own eyes in this 'fuck buddy' / 'relationship' did you cheat.

In his eyes it's not.

So deep down u wish you could say you cheated and this COULD be a problem cause you want this to be a relationship ....

the only problem is.... it's not.

Good Luck

 

[FuzzyKen]

What you have may be a relationship, but it certainly is not by any means a healthy one. Based on what you have said this fellow likes to remind you constantly of "his" rules or opinions while not taking into consideration any part of your feelings.

Personally, this fellow is not an asset to you. If I loved a person at all I would never play mind games with that person. Look Tex, I admire the fact that you seek something more than a roll in the hay. If that is what you want it is with zero doubt what you absolutely should have. Love, romance, trust, and special intimate moments together to me are improved if you have what you choose to have. I have had what I have wanted for over a decade. I love my partner right now just as much as I did the night we made a lifetime commitment to each other.

Remember one thing, and that is long term relationships take a great deal of work. Setting up housekeeping and making it work is support, love, faith, and maintaining a sense of humor when in truth you really want to scream.

A few decades ago I attended the 70th Wedding Anniversary of a family friend. Both members of the couple were nearing their 100th Birthdays and yet both were mentally as sharp as could be.

I asked the husband the following questions:

The first question I asked was what it took to maintain a relationship for 70 years. His answer was surprising.

"Love, respect, kindness, then in a whisper and with a wink (even when she should have gotten a swift kick) love, selective deafness, selective blindness, and learning to respect our right to disagree on a subject."

I then asked him if in 70 years he had ever contemplated divorce.

His answer was:

"Divorce Never! Homicide more times than I can count!"

Though this sounds pretty light and humorous, it really isn't because after over a decade, I have had to roll with many punches in life that encompassed both of us. If I had not really thought things through before responding to or dealing with a situation it could have ended my relationship. I understand where the old gent was coming from. He told me the absolute truth.

If you find "Mr. Right" and work at that relationship every day always remembering to tell him how much you love him you will also always prosper.

I have a 70 year old friend who has suffered terribly since the death of her husband. She has always regretted that the last words that her husband heard were not her saying that she loved him.

Relationships are built on love, trust, mutual interests, complementary differences where you both profit from the strengths of the other person and compensate for the weaknesses. This makes you a sharp cohesive unit instead of two people who simply said "I do!"

We have so far because of some problems within the family and the economy weathered some incredible storms and will have a few more to go before we are again in the clear.
We have raised a teen who was more or less abandoned by his Mom or Dad because of circumstances within their own lives, and we have dealt with severe mental illness on the part of his two Sisters trying to suck him back into the "black hole" that they call living. Through all of this and up to this time we have helped him, learned new things ourselves and protected him from a bunch of people who by circumstance have a habit of making lives around them miserable.

Geez Dude! Go out and find something resembling "Mr. Right" because this dude you are talking about definitely is not that person."

Good Luck my Friend!

 

[deleted21870]

You should have no regrets... you're not his boyfriend after all... so keep you're options open... my guess is that this guy is just not that into you... so if you want a boyfriend look for someone else.

 

[dreamer20]

i've been seeing this guy since August 1st, ...he's over often...he said "oh were not technically together". I told him .."I was glad to have my guy around" ...he said "I'm just your date"..."I'm not your boyfriend"
what do ya'll think? :frown1:

I wouldn't call him an ass. He's simply been honest with you by telling you he does not want to be possessed by you or any sex partner of his. That's why you shouldn't feel badly about getting a blow job from someone else. You can live as he does too.