Douchebag Friend

[_average]

I went to college with this guy years ago lets call him X. I know him since 1998. I would consider him a good friend but we hadn't been out together for a couple of years and recently I went down to his town to go out. This past Friday though he came up to mine. Me X and my fiancé had a few drinks in the house then headed into town to the pub where we met my friend Y and his girlfriend. We all got on like a house on fire. Y and him hit it off which I was delighted about, we were having right laugh in the niteclub. Afterwards myself and Y went for food and my fiancé and X stayed outside. What happened next I didnt know till the next day. While I was getting food, X started rubbing my fiancé's ass and trying to kiss her. Whispering sexual stuff in her ear what he wanted to do to her (bend her over and fuck her hard, stick a finger in her ass etc) and stuff. She pushed him off told him to stop and called her cousin over. He stopped and then myself and Y came back. He was just like nothing happened. We went back to Y's house and were all sitting round talking. My fiancé was beside me and X was beside her and he was rubbing her leg and all on the other side. I had no idea. She got up and went to the kitchen with Y, who had seen him doing it. She said she would deal with it cos Y wanted to punch his head in. I would have too if I had of known. She didn't want to start a drunken fight so she said nothing. We went home in a taxi, and again I was sitting beside her and he was on the other side. He was feeling her up in the taxi, grabbing her hand and putting it on his crotch and stuff!! It was dark, I was drunk and didn't see anything! And he was talking to me while he was doing all this! Back in the house I went straight to bed and he cornered her in the kitchen saying stuff like I know you want me, I know it's wrong but we have a connection and bullshit like that. She pushed him away and went upstairs to bed, but she went to the loo first and when she came out of the bathroom he was standing there in his boxers with a hard on going come on, you know you want it!!! She pushed past him and came to bed. Yesterday morning she was off with him and I asked her why when he had left? She told me everything and if she had of told me Friday night I'd be in jail now, cos I would have killed him!!!!! I'm so mad and shocked and lots of other words I can't think of. I rang him and text him but no reply. He text back today said he is sorry and he hates himself for doing it and could I forgive him! I told him to fuck right off with himself and never contact me again!! How disrespectful is that!? I mean god like, I was right there and never knew any of it! And he was acting so normal! I'm fuming so my questions are....what kind of person does that to a friend? im not over reacting cutting him off completely am i?!

 

[D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke]

Next time you see him I hope you punch him right in the nose.

There is doing stupid ass shit when you're drunk but they crosses the line, BIG TIME.

 

[D_Barney Plank]

Hell no lose his ass,how could you ever trust him again??? Move on man.

 

[gbwisguy13]

I agree with the others, he's no friend of yours to do all that especially with you right there...he needs to take a leap off a cliff...

 

[MsThang]

Your ass would have been in jail if I was your girlfriend. Hell I might've been in jail if he grabbed my ass. I will put up with so much (let me stop lying I wouldn't have put up with it at all lol) but than man really went too far. He disrespected you and your fiancé, there is no excuse for that.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Done. He's a criminal. He sexually assaulted your fiance. If you ever see him again it should be in a courthouse.

 

[petite]

I'm so sorry. I've had friends do this to me. It hurts every time.

I don't feel like you're over-reacting if you cut him off.

 

[D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke]

I'm so sorry. I've had friends do this to me. It hurts every time.

I don't feel like you're over-reacting if you cut his balls off.

:biggrin1:

 

[nudeyorker]

He's not a friend; the sooner you get him out of your life and keep him out of your life the better.

 

[_average]

I honestly can't believe he did it like! He is one of my oldest friends. Our kids are only 2 weeks apart in age, although we lost touch for a while it was like we only saw each other the other day! Besides sleazing on my fiancé ( after he kissed a girl in the niteclub) he betrayed me in a way I would never even think about doing to my worst enemy! I'm so angry with him for ruining 13 years of friendship for a grope. And she said he was genuinely shocked when she wouldn't fuck him in the kitchen!!

 

[D_Dick_Dock_Doe]

"Douchebag" is right. No friend would EVER do something like that to you if he was truly your friend. I think you did the right thing by cutting him off. Maybe now that he lost you as a friend he knows how much of a fucking asshole he was and he won't do that to someone again. What a loser. I'm sorry you had to go through that to see his true colors.

 

[hung9mike]

I don't care how drunk he was. There's no excuse for his behavior. I would cut him off, not only a friend, but as a human being.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I honestly can't believe he did it like! He is one of my oldest friends. Our kids are only 2 weeks apart in age, although we lost touch for a while it was like we only saw each other the other day! Besides sleazing on my fiancé ( after he kissed a girl in the niteclub) he betrayed me in a way I would never even think about doing to my worst enemy! I'm so angry with him for ruining 13 years of friendship for a grope. And she said he was genuinely shocked when she wouldn't fuck him in the kitchen!!

I think it's strange but also more common than we think that sometimes guys who we're close to can actually hurt us very much. He obviously was in a position of trust towards you so it's more shocking than if he was just an acquaintance. That's why you're pissed so much at him. Your reaction is totally appropriate.

 

[citr]

He is a plain criminal. Put him in jail before he rapes someone.

 

[lafever]

Don't let him steal your joy, look at the bright side In all this.
You've got a fiance that's priceless.
Now get your butt down to the local courthouse and get you a marriage license and marry that girl.
After you get married go on your honey moon and send the donkey a postcard.
He'll feel like shit and you'll be the better man. :smile:

 

[AlteredEgo]

He is a plain criminal. Put him in jail before he rapes someone.

How come you and I are the only ones thinking about that?

 

[_Jonesy]

I know what it is like to have friends do shit like this. On the flipside, it has proven how valuable your fiancée is to you, and trustworthy, a quality all too rare these days! Also, she handled the situation very well, very mature, another rare and valuable quality. I know more girls who would be pissed and even ashamed to be with a guy if they DIDN'T end up done for assault over it.

You're a lucky guy, and one less bad friend better off for it!

 

[helgaleena]

How come you and I are the only ones thinking about that?

I am thinking it too. The fiancee should have called 911. Probably only refrained since the man in question was supposedly such an old friend. It may not be too late to file a report on him.

 

[petite]

My husband is such a forgiving man. He feels that it depends on how drunk the guy was, which he would consider a mitigating factor in how forgivable it was, and the fact that he apologized would weigh heavily in how he would react. He said that he wouldn't cut the guy off, but he would never be as close of a friend ever again, but he might consider him to be a distant friend.

I am thinking it too. The fiancee should have called 911. Probably only refrained since the man in question was supposedly such an old friend. It may not be too late to file a report on him.

We also think that his behavior was criminal, but if it was one of TheBF's friends, depending on how drunk he was, I might have refrained from reporting it because he was an old friend. Heck, I was assaulted in a similar way just last year and I didn't report it to the police, but I did report it to the church where he held a title and where he was removed from his position.

 

[curioustitan]

Maybe he was mixing his Franzia with anti-psychotics and had a ....well, let's just call it an interesting result.
This is grasping here i know, but i'm trying (with a severe stretch of the imagination and total suspension of belief) to come up with some possible reason that he would have behaved this way....above and beyond being an obvious asshole.

He did say that he was sorry and that he was shocked at his behaviour right?
As much as this could have been a 'lip service' placating kind of offering to you, i've often found that true 'assholes' don't feel remorse, guilt or shock at their behaviour, but rather that what they do and/or say is completely justified.

I'm not saying forgive and forget and become bosom buddies again, but just that....everyone has a story....

But yeah, your fiance does seem fantastic and very level headed all things considered....a real keeper.