I dont know, Im even even denying that its an ego thing. It still makes me feel bad.
Feeling inadequate
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I dont know, Im even even denying that its an ego thing. It still makes me feel bad.
well you should feel bad!
you're doing this silly magic penis ego trick instead of thinking like a lover...thinking, ''how many pleasurable sensations can i give her at once?'', thinking about kissing her, nibbling her nipples, stroking her back and stimulating her clit while you fuck her, driving her wild with the combination of sensations.
a bit of in, out, in, out can't compare to the mind blowing, all body love making technique of a skilled lover.
I also understand all that, but I think you cant understand me because you arent a guy.
Thanks anyway for the advice.
D_Andreas Sukov
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im a guy and i dont get it. id love to have a women actually have the patience to tell me how to be good at sex as dolfette has to you. stop being a tool and listen to her, or fuck off. its because your big is so tiny and all her others were huge! is that what you want?
i do however understand how women work.
and i know how irritating and frustrating it is to shag a man who thinks his penis should be able to do it all.
most women just don't work that way.
most women need more than just penis for our pleasure.
if this is about her pleasure then just use more than your penis.
thanks! i was starting to think it was just me.
for me something as small as remembering that i like my neck nibbled will turn you from an ok shag to a toe curling lover.
You assume that I dont know these things or take them into consideration. I dont think that she has any problem with the sex we have, shes told me that she actually really appreciates the gradual foreplay etc because her others never did it that way.
The problem is in my head.
Wow, Dolfette, at least you tried.
I'm glad my man isn't this dense or hung up, that's for sure.
I'm glad my man isn't this dense or hung up, that's for sure.
StrictlyAvg
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Take note of the words you wrote right there and be happy that you can make her happy!
Goal driven is bad. Unlearn that habit or it'll become a turn-off.
I agree with Dolfette on the therapy too! Sometimes women come from intercourse, and it's nice when it happens. But mostly it doesn't happen, so be realistic!
Thanks for the cynical words, I appreciate it.
I wish I were this perfect dude that could completely eliminate my ego and completely work towards the goal of pleasuring my partner, but Im not. I also have expectations towards myself and when I cant meet those expectations I feel as if I have failed. It doesnt only apply towards sex, but towards every one of the few things that I pride myself with.
When some chick posts on this forum because she only likes men with big dicks you all give her a pat on the head because "she knows what she wants", but when I come and want some feedback on the fact that I personally prefer to be able to satisfy a woman only with my cock I get called "dense" and you say that I need therapy.
Wow, I understand where you're coming from,(what guy doesn't want the girl to cum due to their cock?) but everyone else is right. You're putting way too much emphasis on it especially since how important the orgasm from intercourse is is totally dependent on the girl. Some girls regularly orgasm from normal intercourse. If I remember correctly though, those girls are the exception. For the rest of them (the majority), the orgasm from vaginal intercourse is rare and orgasm is more almost always gotten by clitoral stimulation.
You'll be surprised how little the "orgasm caused by the penis" matters to women in the end. Will they like it? Of course. Will they think you're bad in bed if you can't do it? Of course not if you're good in other ways. Heck, I've been with a girl who never had an orgasm with me (from intercourse or oral sex) but yet would rave about how great I was in bed and be constantly trying to find time to hook up. A couple of girls (including the one I just mentioned) I was with have told me that they rarely ever orgasm from intercourse. The other one told me basically it was quite rare and it usually happened for her only when she was helping (ie rubbing her clit too).
In the end, it's good that you know it IS your problem, but honestly the only advice I can give you is
1) Don't ask about her sexual past. How good her old partners were, how big they were, if they made her orgasm with their cocks.
2) Don't CARE about her sexual past. If she rather be with one of her old partners over you, then she'd still be with them.
3) Concentrate on making sex enjoyable for her AND you.
4) Remember the goal is NOT "make her orgasm with my cock" but it's "make sex as enjoyable as you can for her AND you". People are trying to snap you out of it because you're just on this path to making sex suck for you and for her and it's just stupid. Not only are you going to ruin your own enjoyment but hers too?
You'll be surprised how little the "orgasm caused by the penis" matters to women in the end. Will they like it? Of course. Will they think you're bad in bed if you can't do it? Of course not if you're good in other ways. Heck, I've been with a girl who never had an orgasm with me (from intercourse or oral sex) but yet would rave about how great I was in bed and be constantly trying to find time to hook up. A couple of girls (including the one I just mentioned) I was with have told me that they rarely ever orgasm from intercourse. The other one told me basically it was quite rare and it usually happened for her only when she was helping (ie rubbing her clit too).
In the end, it's good that you know it IS your problem, but honestly the only advice I can give you is
1) Don't ask about her sexual past. How good her old partners were, how big they were, if they made her orgasm with their cocks.
2) Don't CARE about her sexual past. If she rather be with one of her old partners over you, then she'd still be with them.
3) Concentrate on making sex enjoyable for her AND you.
4) Remember the goal is NOT "make her orgasm with my cock" but it's "make sex as enjoyable as you can for her AND you". People are trying to snap you out of it because you're just on this path to making sex suck for you and for her and it's just stupid. Not only are you going to ruin your own enjoyment but hers too?
i'm ignoring the lame parts of your post...which is most of it.
why is it some huge fucking insult to your masculinity to suggest talking to someone who can get to the bottom of this and help you become a happier, more confident person?
why id it cynical to suggest a way that your self confessed issues could be remedied?
but if you would rather stay feeling shitty about it then knock yourself out
and what's wrong with therapy?
why is it some huge fucking insult to your masculinity to suggest talking to someone who can get to the bottom of this and help you become a happier, more confident person?
why id it cynical to suggest a way that your self confessed issues could be remedied?
but if you would rather stay feeling shitty about it then knock yourself out
Iceman2215
Experimental Member
This site can do that to you!!! Good advice Dolfette!! I have an average cock and trust me there are no complaints with my wife!...I make it my mission to find new ways and techniques to please my wife....Sometimes she is so worked up that she comes from intercourse and sometimes not. Dude don't define yourself by your dick.....make it a mission to be the best lover she ever had.....and that is being unselfish!!
Good luck
I
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