Foreclosure

[simcha]

OH most definitely do NOT sign anything that man gives you! I mean anything! He sounds shady to the extreme. He got himself in a big mess and now it's time for him to learn a hard lesson like so many Americans are learning right now. You don't buy a house you can't afford, period. You don't take suicide loan products expecting real estate to "go up forever." It doesn't. Real estate is a commodity like anything else. In a capitalist market things go up and they go down in real dollars. Now you might see some inflationary dollar appreciation but really it's just your house priced in the new inflationary dollars, not the old dollars of when you bought the place for fewer older dollars...

So, let him eat his losses. If he doesn't learn now he's doomed to repeat the same dumb mistake somewhere else. I'm actually enjoying watching all of the foreclosures on all of the people who told me I was crazy to keep renting because "Real estate only goes up" and "You're throwing your money away and just handing it to your landlord." Well, I have rent control. My rent doesn't go up. I have no ballon payment. I didn't get myself into a debt I couldn't possibly afford on the false belief that house prices would bail me out when I needed to sell. I kind of giggle now when I hear people talk about how hard it is to unload their house for anything like what they paid for it in the so ridiculously inflated housing market of the Bay Area.

Who was wiser? I'll still have a place to sleep at night with a roof over my head by the end of the year. These other jokers who got the faulty loan products and got in way over their heads? Well, I hope that they find a nice cardboard box with a Bay view.

 

[marleyisalegend]

since his answers are about as straight as marley.

huh?? i dunno what you're talking about. i'm SO straight

*replaces mariah carey cd with 50 Cent*

*removes tight jeans and throws on some sweatpants*

*switches from the Tyra Show to ESPN*

*logs off of ghettothugs.com and logs onto milfs.net*

*hides bowl of homemade chicken alfredo, cornbread, collards, and mashed potatoes and heats up ramen noodles*

*tosses vanilla vodka down the drain and picks up a beer*

i'm SO straight.

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

Well, the thought that he's going to screw me over comes from two things. First, I've been screwed over in the past because I trusted the wrong people. Second, he doesn't exactly have a background that says he should completely be trusted. When his ex-wife got full custody of the kids, he spent the next 18 years dodging child support.

As for sharing expenses, it wouldn't be with him since he's talking about staying with his new girlfriend. It would be on me and his friend who's staying in the annex on the house. Still, with property costs and whatnot down here, I'd be willing to bet I could live for cheaper back in TN. The pay at this job is comparable to what I was making up there, too.

Honestly though, I had no ulterior motives going into this. We explained that we needed a place to stay, so as to cut out rent and utility bills, so I could pay down my debts and not have as many monthly expenses by this time next year. My fiancee's epilepsy makes it nearly impossible for her to get a job by conventional means, so I have to be able to make enough and have few enough bills to support both of us. I wasn't expecting to take anything from him or anything like that, just for him to share his roof for a year. I trusted that he understood the situation when he agreed to it.

And yeh, I know it's going to take a lot of work. I've been at it for nearly 3 years now, starting with getting myself a step above living in my car. All I really expect is that the people around me, those important in my life and hers, keep their word. I already have the acceptance of my eventual maternal in-laws. That's more than enough.

I could be being paranoid about the foreclosure situation. He may have it under control. But like I said, I'm in a place to be paranoid right now, given my past, his past, his lifestyle and how delicate this situation is. Besides, it'll prepare me for the worst.

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

*hides bowl of homemade chicken alfredo, cornbread, collards, and mashed potatoes and heats up ramen noodles*

Eating your own homemade food makes you a queer?


.... Crap! This is gonna be an awkward confession.

 

[marleyisalegend]

Eating your own homemade food makes you a queer?


.... Crap! This is gonna be an awkward confession.

naw but supposedly cooking does. men are supposed to crush beer cans on their head and watch football, not cook. you know those packs of rice that you add water and boil? couldn't be easier right? my boyfriend burns those so i usually turn on the tv and the flashing lights destract him while i cook. on a side note: as we speak he's asleep but is raising his hand like he's testifying in church. this is kinda scary to watch.

 

[transformer_99]

Well, he had no hand in raising her, so his side of the family has no connection whatsoever to her mom's side of the family. So, when we have the means to move to Massachusetts, we'll be in the presence of far better company.
Meanwhile, I'm devising a plan to get him to bring his daughter down here on our terms instead of on his own, since his answers are about as straight as marley.

Ahhh, you reveal yourself ultimately, why don't you get a uhaul and go get your fiance this or next weekend ? The two of you want to be married, that's between the both of you, not him, he's going to have a daughter regardless of what your level of involvment is. Why does the evil blue meanie have to pick up the tab on his daughter's move to Tampa when the end run on his generosity is going to result in a move to Massachusetts anyway. Shouldn't that have been the plan from the start ? Maybe the poor f*cker is being tag teamed here and is offering you to live in this house and the two of you are jumping to conclusions about his position in life because he has a home to offer the both of you to live in and it's not rent free ?

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

The Massachusetts plan didn't come up until just a couple of days ago. We know we can't stay here permanently for a few reasons, and that's where we'd like to end up eventually. He knew our stay here would only be temporary anyway, that we just needed a place to stay long enough for me to get my financial situation under control.
As for the whole getting her down here deal, I guess I should have explained that a bit better. He said that he would get her down here, either that he'd get her a plane ticket or go pick her up, before the end of the month. Now he's suddenly changing his tune, but we don't know what to since he won't give a straight answer. Our terms means getting him to keep his word while helping him to keep his house without putting myself further into debt. Teaching him how to live without eating every meal out will honestly save him a few hundred dollars each month. While I would like to be able to actually give him money each month, it would be counterproductive and he knows it.
Honestly though, if he doesn't keep his word, I will be driving up there to pick her up the weekend after next. That's the soonest I'll have the gas money to make the trip.

 

[marleyisalegend]

Save up buddy, by the weekend after next gas will be $1,000 a gallon.

Sounds like a sticky situation and I hope everything works out for you guys. If it makes you feel anybody (though I doubt this ever does) there's lots of people dealing with similar situations. Finances suck and I wish they'd have taught us some of this real life stuff in high-school instead of how to find out what X equals if X(4-5)=-0.5

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

Hey, I've used algebra a few times in real life situations, surprisingly enough.

Yeh, it is good to know that I'm not the only one going through things like this. Not that I would ever think that I am, but more that it's not at all uncommon. It means that at the very least there are people that can empathize when I need to let off some steam and get things off my chest like this. I only expect help when I ask for it. Otherwise, I just want somebody to agree and say "Yeh, I know what it's like. That sucks, man."

 

[marleyisalegend]

Hey, I've used algebra a few times in real life situations, surprisingly enough.

Yeh, it is good to know that I'm not the only one going through things like this. Not that I would ever think that I am, but more that it's not at all uncommon. It means that at the very least there are people that can empathize when I need to let off some steam and get things off my chest like this. I only expect help when I ask for it. Otherwise, I just want somebody to agree and say "Yeh, I know what it's like. That sucks, man."

Oh Lord brother we can trade financial disparities all day if you want. The best day of my life was, like you said, when I learned just how many meals you can make by adding one or two ingredients to oodles&noodles. Second best day of my lief was when they put a "clearance" shelf in the liquor store, and reaching for something on the bottom was literally how I discovered bottom shelf liquor. I didn't know that "bottom shelf" liquor was off-brand liquor at MUCH cheaper prices. For 7 bucks (9 included the pepsi chaser) I got something that's going to last me all weekend.

PS out of curiosity how exactly did you use algebra in real life?? i gotta hear this.

 

[transformer_99]

Well, seems like there are a lot of decisions that were made in spite of prior track records. Ignoring warning signals and character flaws with what is at stake, the Tampa move might've been imprudent. If Massachusetts is going to be the "promised land", eating the debt for that move, perhaps cultivating a life there would've been the way to go and been better. The relatives up there are of better stock ? It's going to take you that much time and expense just to accomplish the same financial goals you expect to arrive in Massachusetts in later on, with the Tampa, FL effort. Only difference now, the both of you will be starting over and moving from Tampa to Massachusetts ? To me, Massachusetts and becoming established there is the goal, no better time than the present to forge forward on that front ? But that's a two day old hatched/baked plan as well.

 

[marleyisalegend]

EDIT: if you can't say anything nice, say it in a PM

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

I don't remember many of the exact situations, but there were a couple of times that I had to use a combination of it and basic geometry (pythagorean theorem, circumference of a circle, things like that) to derive measurements at my old job. I had equations scrawled out on scrap paper on my desk for later reference.

The last one before I left involved figuring out the radius on a bunch of corner rounder blades without labels. It was something I had been meaning to do, and figured I'd better get it done before passing the department on to the next person. Each one had a 1/4 circle blade, so I measured straight across from one point to the other. This would be the hypotenuse of an isosceles right triangle, with the legs being the radius of the circle, were the arc of the blade to continue. (It makes more sense drawn out.) So, calling that hypotenuse "h" I ended up with 2(r^2) = h^2.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I don't remember many of the exact situations, but there were a couple of times that I had to use a combination of it and basic geometry (pythagorean theorem, circumference of a circle, things like that) to derive measurements at my old job. I had equations scrawled out on scrap paper on my desk for later reference.

The last one before I left involved figuring out the radius on a bunch of corner rounder blades without labels. It was something I had been meaning to do, and figured I'd better get it done before passing the department on to the next person. Each one had a 1/4 circle blade, so I measured straight across from one point to the other. This would be the hypotenuse of an isosceles right triangle, with the legs being the radius of the circle, were the arc of the blade to continue. (It makes more sense drawn out.) So, calling that hypotenuse "h" I ended up with 2(r^2) = h^2.

............

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

Well, seems like there are a lot of decisions that were made in spite of prior track records. Ignoring warning signals and character flaws with what is at stake, the Tampa move might've been imprudent. If Massachusetts is going to be the "promised land", eating the debt for that move, perhaps cultivating a life there would've been the way to go and been better. The relatives up there are of better stock ? It's going to take you that much time and expense just to accomplish the same financial goals you expect to arrive in Massachusetts in later on, with the Tampa, FL effort. Only difference now, the both of you will be starting over and moving from Tampa to Massachusetts ? To me, Massachusetts and becoming established there is the goal, no better time than the present to forge forward on that front ? But that's a two day old hatched/baked plan as well.

Her relatives up there are good people, but none of them have room in their home to take on two more adults. He was our last option, short of just toughing it out and continuing to struggle to live paycheck to paycheck for the foreseeable future. We were reluctant to accept, but it came to the point that it was our only choice. Rock and a hard place, and all that.
The Massachusetts plan, as it lays now, is admittedly idealized but not at all inconceivable. We're going to work out the details of it as it gets closer to time. If it's looking like it won't be able to happen though, I plan to give myself plenty of time to come up with a Plan B. Still, forging forward sometimes involves sitting still and working with what's in front of you before you make your next move.

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

............

Makes more sense drawn out:

 

[2322]

Mass is horribly expensive. I hope her relatives have mentioned that. You may also be in for something of a culture shock.

The thing with her father may not be bad. If he really does only owe a few years of payments then it could be a good proposition. Just don't take his word for it. Get the title company to enumerate everything. As Reagan said about the Soviets, "trust, but verify."

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

Mass is horribly expensive. I hope her relatives have mentioned that. You may also be in for something of a culture shock.

The thing with her father may not be bad. If he really does only owe a few years of payments then it could be a good proposition. Just don't take his word for it. Get the title company to enumerate everything. As Reagan said about the Soviets, "trust, but verify."

Well, it's more a matter of how far behind he is on his payments than anything else. Honestly, while the gesture is nice, I can't see myself spending any more than a couple of years in this house. Like any American, I would love to eventually own my own house. But I want it to be one that I (read: we) choose, not just what's the easiest to get. Besides that, this house doesn't feel right to raise a family in, and I would like to have my first kid by the time I'm 30.

I am rather aware of the expense in Massachusetts. I've already looked at apartment prices, just to get a general idea, and just going by online listings it's difficult to find a 2BR for under $1000/mo (under 900 is nearly unheard of). As such, when I talk with my new employer about transferring to the office in Lowell, I'm going to talk to somebody up there and find out what sort of salary I can get in that area. If it's not gonna cut it, then it's time for Plan B... whatever that is. As for the culture shock, I was raised by an Irish-raised Massachusian (or whatever they call themselves) and a Norwegian-raised Texan. I can handle it.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I would like to have my first kid by the time I'm 30.

you and me both brother. i've actually been telling my boyfriend to take me to a bank so i can freeze some of my eggs, i'm sure that i won't be able to quit smoking cigarettes in time to prevent the slaughter of half my sperm.

 

[D_Thoraxis_Biggulp]

you and me both brother. i've actually been telling my boyfriend to take me to a bank so i can freeze some of my eggs, i'm sure that i won't be able to quit smoking cigarettes in time to prevent the slaughter of half my sperm.

There something you're not telling us? Hahah.