Gay Men More Promiscuous

[Jeremywantscock]

Theres the misconception that gay men are more promiscuous than straight men. Why do you think that. Also they also say that gay male couples in committed relationships have more sex with each other daily than straight couples.

 

[HorseHung40's]

On Friday, I had a conversation that mirrored the points in this thread closely.

Many in society view gay men and all women with the same lens, when evaluating us from a sexual standpoint. If women are forward about liking sex for recreation and pleasure, it is often assumed that she must be some sort of slut, or, at the very least promiscuous. The same set of false values are applied to gay men.

There are many gay men, who make no apologies for enjoying sex as a form or recreation. We go to great lengths to make ourselves attractive and maintain our youth and vitality in a way that straight men often do not do.

Straight men, who are promiscuous, go to great lengths so as to be perceived as "pillars of their respective communities". Think Ward Cleaver of Leave it to Beaver. No one would ever think that Ward would screw women casually for sex; yet, it happens.... much more frequently than many would realize.

 

[indyfrat79]

I’ve always thought it had less to do with being gay, and more to do with sexuality in general. At the risk of being politically incorrect, guys tend to be horniers than girls (which I can vouch for, having been with both). So when you’ve got two guys together, they’re usually excited to get laid, and there’s no girl to say no. At least that’s my theory....

I largely agree. But I don't think it is necessarily that guys are hornier. I just think that guys are more comfortable with no-strings fun. No need for cuddles or commitment or a nice dinner first. Men like to get off. So, when 100% of the equation is a guy, the sex is likely more frequent and with more partners.

 

[Brodie888]

Straight men have the disadvantage of needing to have sex with women. Women in general don't see sex in the transactional way that many men do. If women thought the same way as men, then straight men would be having as much sex as two men would.

My straight friends often lament that marriage is the big blowjob killer. Women don't get much out of doing it whereas some gay men would be in heaven to spend the whole day sucking cocks.

 

[HorseHung40's]

Throughout history, gay men have often been reduced to their sexuality - something that does not happen with straight men. With gay men, it is also mentioned that they are gay, just in case anyone "forgets" his orientation.

Society does not dwell on straight men, who are promiscuous; instead, he is called a playboy or "man about town". Only gay man are labelled as promiscuous.

I remember Barbara Walters interviewing Rock Hudson, where she felt the need to ask that question. He should have retorted, "Bitch, I turned gay at the sight of you. Viewers, you are lucky that you can smell her odor through the TV-set. Most of you would vomit. You can guess from which part of her body it is coming. Isn't true that the only way you could get pregnant, is for the father to jack himself off, and, throw it at you?"

 

[AVx22]

This is not a misconception. Gay promiscuity can’t always be applied to the individual, but as a whole, gay men are much more promiscuous than straight men, straight women, and lesbian women.

This is really a fact.

 

[herbho]

I believe that just about every gay man has a period in which he is quite promiscuous, usually soon after he comes out or acknowledges that he is gay. The sexual social development of gay men, especially older ones, is not similar to that of straight men. For example, we get didn't know what it meant to have a high school boyfriend, except on the sly. We couldn't hold hands or kiss in public, attend the prom together, or go through the painful experience of breaking up ( which could ultimately lead to a better adjusted relationship). We often lived in fear that anyone would discover our " secret," especially our parents, or even hint that we were " different." In some places, being gay would make the boy or man fear for his life. Many were forced to date girls and some to eventually marry. So, for many gay men, once the proverbial floodgates were opened, we made up for the years of repressed desire and went through a promiscuous period. Some stayed there, others found partners. But, I would agree that, in general, gays can be looked at as being more promiscuous. After all, in a bathhouse or on Grindr, you don't have to buy dinner in order to get laid.

 

[Brodie888]

Biologically there is no difference between gay and straight men apart from their orientation.

The only reason I can think for why straight men would be different is the impact of religion on society.

Because openly gay men already operate outside many of the conventions of religion, there is less obstruction to hold them back from doing what's natural.

 

[tito21]

It’s not that gay men are more promiscuous, it’s just that it’s more acceptable among gay men to be promiscuous.

If a str8 guy were to play around and got noticed by the girls around him, you bet your ass they’ll tell their female friends about it. Mean while, gay men would just shrug and salivating over the news and day/night dreaming of sucking his cock.

 

[winesthel945]

I have known many straight men who were every bit as promiscuous -- or attempted to be -- as any gay man. Their problem is that women trend towards a somewhat reduced willingness to engage in promiscuous behavior. But only slightly -- there are plenty of women who are DTF, there are just more who have reasonable fears about their physical safety etc. that drive them to be a bit more selective (relatively speaking) than their male counterparts.

I think it's that promiscuous straight men are celebrated as great "ladies men" and conquering heros, while promiscuous gay men get lumped into the hypocrisy and discomfort with sexuality generally and the taboos around gay sex generally -- which is really little more than a flavor of sexism. Promiscuous straight men are heroes, the women they sleep with are whores. And gay men who do the same thing are male whores to be disdained just like their female counterparts.

It's all about the warped view of sex as somehow bad... when it's really that the attitudes against acceptance of sexuality are the pathology.

 

[7053701]

Gay men are more promiscuous because they don't have reproductive sex. Even if there's birth control for heterosexual partners and the intent is just fun sex, the psychology of can-this-partner-provide-for-my-hypothetical-child is still a driving subconscious force for heterosexuals. It's why straight men generally like big tits that look like they breastfeed well, and why straight women generally like men who appear to be able to work a lot as well as physically defend the home from threats. Whether they're trying to have children or not doesn't change that this is a psychological influence behind the attraction. Promiscuity on either side of the relationship is not conducive to healthy child-rearing.

Gay men do not have this psychology whatsoever. While yes there are gay individuals who want to imitate heterosexuals and attempt a nuclear family with an adopted child -- there's no innate psychology that's motivating those men to do that. A generalization but a true one nonetheless is that homosexual men are almost always more community-oriented and group-oriented than the more private heterosexual. Even other animals in the primate kingdom have often been observed to use homosexual behavior as a "community building" and "tribal bonding" effort, as in it's used for different purposes for the species than the reproductive sex is. I don't see any reason why we can't apply this to our own species. It's just my own opinion but I do believe that homosexuals have an evolutionary purpose that would make them more likely to be non-monogamous and do things for the tribe that the child-rearing heterosexuals wouldn't have time or energy to do.

Homosexual men also tend to be very outspoken about their sexuality and they value directness over anything.

Gay men don't "flirt" or "seduce" like heteros do, usually if you can't flat out say what you want from us sexually, then you appear to be a creep and a turnoff. This is the inverse of how straight women often say they feel, they find the direct man to be the creep and they seem to prefer to be given the runaround and have some flirting and unspoken stuff going on -- a huge turnoff for me and probably the main reason why I don't want anything to do women sexually.

Wow, where to begin.

How about rather than picking apart your post line by line, I just say this: You have a lot of preconceptions that are just simply wrong.

Over-generalizing is not a way to the path of learning. It just shoes you in, and you end up offending people along the way.

 

[North Nudist]

I'm a gay man.

First, generalisations are dangerous if people use them to make assumptions about individuals. So let's not assume anything about anyone. They're also dangerous in the hands of those who have moralistic attitudes. So as well as not assuming anything about anyone, let's not judge.

So having got that out of the way, my observation, knowing a lot of gay men and a lot of straight men, is that gay men tend - in general - to be more promiscuous. In many cases, a lot lot more. That doesn't mean that every gay man you know is promiscuous. And even if he is, it doesn't mean you have any right to judge.

I've had conversations with straight friends about numbers of sexual partners. Many can count on one hand. The most promiscuous I know might stretch into the dozens. Gay guys I know way outstrip this. Personally I reckon I've had sex with around 2000 guys in my time. Each encounter was safe, consensual and respectful. And fun. If anyone has a problem with this, I suggest you re-think the basis for your sexual ethics. I'm certainly happy with mine

 

[Novaboy]

I think that in general, men and women view sex differently. It was either Woody Allen or Billy Crystal who had a line that said. "Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place". If no strings attached sex was as readily available for straight men as it is for gay men, I don't think the numbers would be much different. I think, again, in general, men understand the "it was just sex" idea.

 

[jaybee0560]

I'm not entirely sure its a misconception that Gay men are more promiscuous than straight men - I'm having difficulty finding reliable data that supports that assertion tho - I found something that OK Cupid put together that effectively states that Gay men and straight men have sex at roughly the same rates with approx the same number of partners but - that data was gleened exclusively from Data on their app and doesn't take a broad view all sexual behaviour either party engages in - and it only reflects data on people looking for dates rather than simply having sex.
Then there are a bunch of christian based sites that effectively claim gay men are wildly more promiscuous - truth is probably somewhere in the middle but - it wouldn't surprise me if gay men were having a lot more sex with a lot more people - you don't see too many bathhouses for straight people - - while straight people go dogging, my personal experience is that there are hundreds of beats within a stones throw of where i live and I don't see anything approaching the same level where straight people have sex. Given there are overwhemingly more straight people than gay - that's gotta mean something.
And I care about none of that - if you're being careful - who really cares how many people you have sex with.
To me - it kinda makes sense that men having sex with men would happen far more indiscriminately than men having sex with women ..Even at 53, I can pretty much head out at any given point in the day and hook up without a second thought.. where if I wanted to have sex with a women .. That would be a great deal more challenging.
In terms of my sexual partners - I'm sure I've had some form of sexual contact with well over a thousand people in my life .. not sure how that compares with other bi or gay men but, while it may or may not be in the high side - I dont think its extraordinary .. whereas I can't think of a single straight mate that would have been with more than 100 people in their life.. The way I look at it is - sex with a man - especially anon sex .. is common, easy and seems to suit our mentality where straight sex ..comes with other baggage that complicates its availability - I have no idea what impact apps like Tindr has on this in a more modern setting .. but for people of my age group .. sex between men is very often anon .. very often with a different person every time and pretty damn easy.

As for sex in a LT monogamous relationship comparing straight couples to male couples .. I have no idea who has more sex or if there is any difference at all .. For me - its about the same. When you get into a relationship with either a man or a women, its starts of hot and heavy and you have sex all the time and then .. life takes over and you get complacent as you settle into a routine of living with someone - arguing .. being in a good bad mood - work stress .. being on different pages in terms of your sex drive etc ..

 

[Jlatinochub]

Gay men are more adventurous and that takes the misconception of promiscuity.

 

[Hakan1]

most women have a totally different view on sex than men. That is the reason. So when you are straight you will have this "problem" a lot. When you are gay and willing to fully live out your sexuality then it´s very easy to have sex and have sex with many different men. It´s not like that with men and women. Only when you visit prostitutes and pay for that.

 

[Brodie888]

This is not a misconception. Gay promiscuity can’t always be applied to the individual, but as a whole, gay men are much more promiscuous than straight men, straight women, and lesbian women.

This is really a fact.

I'm curious, what's this fact based upon?

 

[Fishsqueezee69]

I believe that just about every gay man has a period in which he is quite promiscuous, usually soon after he comes out or acknowledges that he is gay. The sexual social development of gay men, especially older ones, is not similar to that of straight men. For example, we get didn't know what it meant to have a high school boyfriend, except on the sly. We couldn't hold hands or kiss in public, attend the prom together, or go through the painful experience of breaking up ( which could ultimately lead to a better adjusted relationship). We often lived in fear that anyone would discover our " secret," especially our parents, or even hint that we were " different." In some places, being gay would make the boy or man fear for his life. Many were forced to date girls and some to eventually marry. So, for many gay men, once the proverbial floodgates were opened, we made up for the years of repressed desire and went through a promiscuous period. Some stayed there, others found partners. But, I would agree that, in general, gays can be looked at as being more promiscuous. After all, in a bathhouse or on Grindr, you don't have to buy dinner in order to get laid.

This is so true. I went through that phase after I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. I spent almost 2 years just serially dating, having 3 somes, 4 somes, being the third wheel in an established relationship, having sex with a coworker, having sex with a friend, etc.

I think gay men have generally a much easier time getting laid. Another thing I believe is that gay men tend to make most of their fantasies true while straight men are generally less likely to act on their fantasies.

I believe that perhaps the OP may be talking about whether this applies to all gay men and/or if gay men can be monogamous. The answer is that there are gay men out there who are LESS promiscuous (eg have less sexual partners) than the average straight men. My husband probably has been with less than 3 guys.

And I can arrest to the fact that monogamy exist in the gay world. I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost 15 years.

 

[dante33]

From my own observations: yes.
You don't see many straight bathouses, cruising spots or bars with dark rooms.
It is easy for the average guy to get laid or at the very least, a BJ in the gay comunity. No strings attached is also easier to get than in straight sex.
Now, does it compare to straight men's? No, but it probably would if straight sex were easier. You don't see gay pickup artists or gay "incels".

It doesn't mean that monogamy or fidelity are impossible. Just that the gay community creates a breeding ground for it.

 

[deleted5493]

Straight men would be hella more promiscuous if their partners would put up with it lol.