No, cram the ham is not the way to do it. Way too much risk of injury to both partners.
I find DT goes the absolute best when my husband sticks his cock really far back in my throat, but not all the way in, and does this repeatedly, so that my throat starts to make a copious amount of a unique kind of thick mucus (it only seems to do this in response to repeated stimulation). Then, after my throat has loosened and lubed up, that is the time to take him.
It is still a tight fit for us, and I can't keep my back teeth completely out of contact with his cock no matter what I do, but I have never injured him (have never even left a mark with my teeth, let alone cut him).
Occasionally when engaging in Dominant/submissive play he has shoved his cock down my throat forcefully when I am not relaxed. It has been painful for both of us, but I think it gives him a rush. I'm glad he doesn't do this too often, though.
As to how I learned to deep throat, it was actually just sheer determination. I had never deep-throated a man before my ex-husband, and although his size wasn't too exceptional, he had a strong upward curve that made it impossible to DT him from a head-on position.
It wasn't until I joined this site and got some advice from the people here that I managed to DT my ex -- it turns out the best way to DT an upward-curved cock is to do it in a 69 position; once I got in the right position I was able to do it on the first try. I gagged a little but he still managed to come straight down my throat -- it was weird, my first time swallowing a load without getting to taste it at all!
My present husband is much thicker and although he is not curved, he is much harder to DT in any position because of his size. After some experimentation, though, we finally figured out the mucus thing (I know it sounds kind of gross, but it works) and things got better, even if it never got easy, and never will be.
I still have to fight with my gag reflex. I would love to see the day when this goes away.