Sweetie, this sounds like a job for behavior modification. And that's not an easy thing to do. But like Not_Punny said let him win Silver for a change and come in second. He's got to learn to please you first or else you never will be pleased.
I have had the exact same problem as you describe with my first husband. Unfortunately, we never managed to work it out, but at that time sex was less important to me as it is now, strange enough. My current husband is pre-trained, thank you ex-wife wherever you are, and always makes sure that I'm satisfied first. Unless it's "his" night: sometimes we have special evenings where it's all about him or all about me. Holy cow! It's completely random, but that makes it even more interesting.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mate, but maybe a special night where you pleasure him might cause him to reciprocate. But I don't know what action you can take if he doesn't. The wait can be excruciating.
I guess it just comes down to communicating. Have you ever really talked it out? Have you told him how you wish to be pleasured? If you feel like you can't communicate this, then only counseling will help.
I hope you find your answer, Darling. Life is way too short to be searching for pleasure from someone else.