Guys that have it "all"

[crescendo69]

People that have it all usually don't want to deal with me; maybe they sense my uneasiness with such a social winner. I, by comparison with some less fortunate friends, seem to have it all, and it can have its advantages and disadvantages in a relationship. I like being appreciated and adored (hey, I'm a performer), but actually prefer more of an equal footing for a relationship. Of coarse, we all have our strenghts and weaknesses, but finding another with whom we can mutually accept the different characteristics of each can be a challenge. Hope that makes sense.

 

[davidjh7]

Life shits on everybody, just in different ways. Nobody ever really understands the personal demons and hell any of us go through. If you limited the discussion to ONLY external physical characteristics, some guys DO have it all--but they suffer in other ways. NOT having those external physical gifts, but having many friends who do, has allowed me the special privaledge of observing the downside of those gifts. Since I am not seen when they are around, I can observe how others react to them. Often, they are treated like a trophey, or meat--as ONLY their external physical characteristics. The reason I have them as friends, is ebcause I focus on what is on the inside, so they get something from my friendship they don't get from most people. Every gift is a curse, and vica versa.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Sweetheart,

It often isnt what they do to you. It is usually the way the people respond to him or her in comparison to you. The things that people allow from them that are not allowed you or the feeling of invisibility when they are around. But that really isnt that person's fault it is a much larger problem. They end up being the recipient of much attention, unwanted as well as wanted, as well as the combined anger and frustration of those who are not as well endowed . They have people who always assume that they did not receive life's rewards because of any hard work they happened to have put in, but because of their physical beauty. Also
the fear of loss when physical beauty is gone and the lack of sympathy and secret gloating they receive from others when their day in the sun is over.....

I totally understand that - I've been the target of a lot, and I mean a lot of resentment for it before. I went to an inner city school, and I was somehow perceived as being really smart, and people resented me for it (the truth is, I'm a straight B student), they resented me enough to avoid speaking to me, and to openly tell me that they hated me for being more intelligent than them, and there I am trying to convince them that I'm not that smart, and I don't know where they got that idea from - all I wanted was for people to like me, or at the very least not really care either way, instead I was resented.

I know what it's like to have the resentment (but none of the benefits).

This guys doesn't get that, and I know he doesn't because I'm friends with his friends (this is how I know him) and they don't (seem to) particularly revere him, he's just one of them.

It seems to me that he has all the benefits and none of the downfalls.

I'm feeling a bit better about it today however, so I'm not gonig to get too bitchy about it.

On wider note, I don't beleive at all in this "everything balances out" kind of views people are putting forward in this thread. Some people have everything, some people have fuck all, and the rest of us are just trying to make do somewhere in the middle.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Some people who seem to think that I "have it all" seem to be intimidated by me. Others seem envious. I don't really see myself this way, though. I also find it obnoxious that some girls don't think I'm good enough, yet others think I'm "too good" and must therefore be a playa or manwhore.

Not that I'm not a manwhore...

 

[bluekarma]

That's not the whole package. I think intelligence and a good sense of humour should be included.

Being a good lover is a must too, IMO.

i think sometimes we all feel a little intimidated by the looks/wealth/grace/intellect of another.

though...

when i see a woman far hotter than i am, i'm usually too busy perving to envy.

Perving, hah!! I think we're soul mates Dolf!

And now that I think of it, it's amazing that I've lived this long.

And I...er WE....are ever so glad you have. :wink:

Peoples' lives are much deeper than a jpeg thumbnail on an internet forum. [/quote]

True dat.

Some people who seem to think that I "have it all" seem to be intimidated by me. Others seem envious. I don't really see myself this way, though. I also find it obnoxious that some girls don't think I'm good enough, yet others think I'm "too good" and must therefore be a playa or manwhore.

Not that I'm not a manwhore...

Hmmm, I find you good enough and too good all at the same time - is that obnoxious? Play on playa :wink:

 

[B_Rivas_Boricua4Ever]

Very well stated dukey. We never know what's going on with a person until we've walked a mile in their shoes. Even then we may not know the entire truth. I've known people that appeared to have it all that didn't have squat. Good looks, great body, dressed in nice clothes but dumb as a rock and the personality of a cardboard box. All packaging and no content. Personally I'd rather have a little more content and less packaging.

I completely agree. Both men and women look at me as some youthful looking, very handsome kid with a great body and pierced tongue, a cute butt and a slightly-over nine inch dick...and that's fine, I guess, if you like what you see - it took me a while to finally be comfortable with my self image and, to be honest, it's taken me some time but I think I am good looking. But I also consider myself pretty smart, smarter and more mature than many of the people around my age that I know, and I'm also good at giving advice/listening to problems. However, I, too, have my own battles...my older brother, who I very much looked up to, died in a car wreck a few years back and in some ways, I'm not fully over it. I have troubling anxiety and depression issues. I've had so many sexual trysts and affairs - many with married men/women, taken boys/girls, hell...even pregnant women - which, at the time, and still sometimes, I thought/think is/was pretty hot...but I begin to feel cheap, I feel like a slut that's just being used...and I'm not even 19 yet! So...yes...we all have finer qualities than our looks, and our "battles" or "demons" underneath.

 

[G.man]

I know everyone like to say that looks aren't important. But everyone knows that they are. It's harsh, but true. We all know they're not on the top of the list, but they are important. Good looks only get you the first 5mins, after that you've got to rely on personality. But you've got to get those 5 mins first.
On saying that, there's this guy i know, and he's not exactly blessed in the looks department, or the trouser department if the rumours are to be believed. But once he starts chatting up the girls they are all over him. He has complete charm. I totally admire him for being able to go for it. He has complete confidence in himself. I think that's what people really find attractive; it's just unfortunate that people associate their own confidence with their looks.
It's been said before, but it's true: If you are confident with what you've got, that's far more atractive, far sexier than good looks, a great body, a big dick. "Perfect people" don't exist (but if they do could you tell me where to find them)

 

[dolfette]

Perving, hah!! I think we're soul mates Dolf!

two dirty peas in a smutty pod :sgrin:

 

[rob_just_rob]

what are you talking about mate? don't you worry, nobody's got it all. people strive and struggle in different ways. even the ones that appear to be full of themselves with shallow personalities but useful bodies and knobs. they know they struggle, believe you me. some also make great use of what is called denial. but can you blame them? we're only humans. well, a part from me...:biggrin1:

Exactly. One of the more valuable things I've learned over the last few years is that no matter how beautiful, smart, successful and/or charismatic a person is, they aren't perfect. Usually far from it.

And the corollary - no matter how good it seems someone else's life is, they have problems that you don't know about.

There are plenty of anecdotes and aphorisms out that that illustrate this phenomenon.

 

[viking1]

Life shits on everybody, just in different ways. Nobody ever really understands the personal demons and hell any of us go through. If you limited the discussion to ONLY external physical characteristics, some guys DO have it all--but they suffer in other ways. NOT having those external physical gifts, but having many friends who do, has allowed me the special privaledge of observing the downside of those gifts. Since I am not seen when they are around, I can observe how others react to them. Often, they are treated like a trophey, or meat--as ONLY their external physical characteristics. The reason I have them as friends, is ebcause I focus on what is on the inside, so they get something from my friendship they don't get from most people. Every gift is a curse, and vica versa.

Actually, I would settle for being treated like a trophy, or a piece of meat.

I am usually treated like a tool. Nobody knows I am in the world unless they want their car fixed, or lawnmower, refrigerator, TV, etc, etc.
I would be flattered beyond belief if some woman was interested in my looks, or body. Not that I expect that to ever happen...(one can dream).

 

[roosevelt]

Well, I'm not exactly "perfect" but I've got all I want.

Never been a problem for me, I'm not an asshole, so people tend to respect or envy me, rather than feel threatened.

 

[earllogjam]

The ideal of what is "perfect" is different for everyone. It's that triangle of one way attraction. You find someone perfect but they find another person perfect and that third person finds you perfect. Seems like only people I don't find attractive are attracted to me and it's probably the same for them.

 

[D_Herin_Ghan]

Some people who seem to think that I "have it all" seem to be intimidated by me. Others seem envious. I don't really see myself this way, though. I also find it obnoxious that some girls don't think I'm good enough, yet others think I'm "too good" and must therefore be a playa or manwhore.

Not that I'm not a manwhore...

What he said.

Ironically, I'm pretty fucked up mentally:biggrin1:

 

[SlickWilly]

Actually, I would settle for being treated like a trophy, or a piece of meat.

I am usually treated like a tool. Nobody knows I am in the world unless they want their car fixed, or lawnmower, refrigerator, TV, etc, etc.
I would be flattered beyond belief if some woman was interested in my looks, or body. Not that I expect that to ever happen...(one can dream).

I can relate to this, to a degree. I think the "prettier" types DO have it somewhat easier in a social environment... they get noticed more- people pay more attention to them. They can have their pick of the litter, should they choose to do so. Over the long run, the playing field levels out a bit, but the "beautiful ones" are first out of the gate.

Think about it... when you're out at a bar looking to hook up, who do you go after... the hottie that everyone's drooling over, or the troll nursing a beer at the end of the bar (and I've nursed a LOT of beers over the years). Is it fair? absolutely not. But it happens. I suppose it happens more in QueerWorld, as there's more emphasis on youth & looks. I know there have been studies done where attractive people are generally more successful & make more money. Yes, it's a gross generalization, but I think there IS a kernel of truth to it as well. And I'm sure that the opposite occurs as well... i.e. someone will pass you over because you're TOO good looking (threatening). We all have our "crosses to bear".

No one ever said life was fair...

 

[Kassokilleri2ff]

The ideal of what is "perfect" is different for everyone. It's that triangle of one way attraction. You find someone perfect but they find another person perfect and that third person finds you perfect. Seems like only people I don't find attractive are attracted to me and it's probably the same for them.

The part about "the ony people i dont find attractive, are attracted to me"

exactly what it is for me. All the fat ugly girls love me, but i definatly dont like them lol.

 

[Kimahri]

Well, I didn't want to bog down the chat with my own personal issue on the matter, I just wanted to put out something that was a bit more general. Got some stuff I'm going thru right now that it just seems the subject matter of the post are doing considerably better than me.

I appreciate all of the posts. Lot of them were pretty deep. Much moreso than I expected.

You're all good people with great insights. Thanks.

 

[No_Strings]

I confess I'm too tired to delve into how to define someone who 'has it all'...

With women, it intimidates the hell out of me, and in my head usually takes the form of "I'm not worthy enough to hold their attention or interest".

With men, it makes me envious and disheartened - every other good looking guy about just decreases my chances of finding someone who I click with. It's like being at the bottom of a menu :tongue:

 

[naughty]

I confess I'm too tired to delve into how to define someone who 'has it all'...

With women, it intimidates the hell out of me, and in my head usually takes the form of "I'm not worthy enough to hold their attention or interest".

With men, it makes me envious and disheartened - every other good looking guy about just decreases my chances of finding someone who I click with. It's like being at the bottom of a menu :tongue:

Honey, all you need is one good one. Just one! But I know .Finding that one is the problem!

 

[viking1]

I confess I'm too tired to delve into how to define someone who 'has it all'...

With women, it intimidates the hell out of me, and in my head usually takes the form of "I'm not worthy enough to hold their attention or interest".

With men, it makes me envious and disheartened - every other good looking guy about just decreases my chances of finding someone who I click with. It's like being at the bottom of a menu :tongue:

I know how that feels...

 

[davidjh7]

Actually, I would settle for being treated like a trophy, or a piece of meat.

I am usually treated like a tool. Nobody knows I am in the world unless they want their car fixed, or lawnmower, refrigerator, TV, etc, etc.
I would be flattered beyond belief if some woman was interested in my looks, or body. Not that I expect that to ever happen...(one can dream).

I understand what you mean. See my "toilet paper" thread. YOu are "useful" but not valued as a person. As long as you are serving someones needs, and don;t ask for anything in return, you are allowed to exist and be around. THe moment that someone doesn;t need your skills anymore, and are done wiping their shit on you, they flush you away like used toilet paper. And they treat you, before they do, like you are some nasty disgusting thing that they have to get rid of as soon as possible. Those of us who have our "gifts" on the inside--whether it be personality, a giving heart, some useful skill, a good mind, etc. often would LOVE to be fawned over for our externals. Just like those who are only desired for their external characteristics would love to be treated and seen as a whole person, useful, and wanted for the whole package. Unfortunately, people are just damned shallow and selfish. Life would be so much easier if I could just totally not need or want other people in my life, but as much of a loner as I am, I find I really DO want and need those other people in my life. You can either ride the roller coaster, or live in a hole. Doesn;t seem to be any other choice in this life.