How Do I Get Over My Fear Of Topping?

[MrAnonymousGuy]

So I'm strictly a bottom, but my boyfriend wants me to top him. It's not do or die, but sometimes I do feel bad that I locked him into the role of a top (he's vers top).

I can't get over the fear of topping. I had an incident when I was younger involving my dick that kinda scares me for someone who is uncut. I also can't get past the idea of going into a butthole (lol sorry) and how stuff goes on down there. I'm afraid I might see some brown stuff or even red stuff despite my boyfriend telling me that he'll be fine.

Oh, we also joke about finding someone else to top him but he wants me specifically

Help!

 

[malakos]

If you don't mind, what was the incident, and what about it in particular was traumatizing for you? If you're willing to share that, it might help the board understand the nature of the fear.

 

[MrAnonymousGuy]

If you don't mind, what was the incident, and what about it in particular was traumatizing for you? If you're willing to share that, it might help the board understand the nature of the fear.

So back in middle school when I was basically going through puberty (lol) i like made a make-shift fleshlight kinda? and i was "fucking" it and then when i pulled out, i noticed there was a bit of blood coming from my dick. it mightve been the skin thats near my frenulum? (i think that's the part)

So yeah, i'm afraid of that happening

 

[malakos]

So back in middle school when I was basically going through puberty (lol) i like made a make-shift fleshlight kinda? and i was "fucking" it and then when i pulled out, i noticed there was a bit of blood coming from my dick. it mightve been the skin thats near my frenulum? (i think that's the part)

So yeah, i'm afraid of that happening

What did you make it with?

 

[MrAnonymousGuy]

What did you make it with?

it was just like saran wrap between my two bed mattresses (lmao)

 

[phonehome]

so are you saying that you have or have had

"Foreskin tearing issues" ??

 

[Scarletbegonia]

As a fearful recipient, who desperately does not want “poop happens“ to happen, it mars my perfect feminine image (oh, quit laughing), I use this:
How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex

Your BF can, too.
Just not often. We need the mucosal lining. The bulb syringe form is often enough.

so make sure he cleans like an uptight virgin, and get your foreskin hygiene game on, and all will be well.
I am, of course, assuming your BF is not built like two mattresses.

 

[MrAnonymousGuy]

so are you saying that you have or have had

"Foreskin tearing issues" ??

no i haven't had any issues since then but i'm afraid it could happen again

 

[phonehome]

no i haven't had any issues since then but i'm afraid it could happen again

Well have you had "insertion type" sex where it could happen ??

 

[MrAnonymousGuy]

Well have you had "insertion type" sex where it could happen ??

no..... but one of my insecurities is being uncut. i sometimes feel like cut people have it easier

 

[Scarletbegonia]

The simple fix is......
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A condom.

 

[Mule]

no..... but one of my insecurities is being uncut. i sometimes feel like cut people have it easier

Not true at all. Being intact actually helps with any kind of insertion, as the foreskin's natural role as a protective sheath has not been reduced or eliminated. It gives you a movable sleeve in which you can thrust, providing some degree of protection. Also, bear in mind that your partner's body is very unlikely to cause friction injuries to you - we're talking about soft, yielding tissue here.

Like anything involving your health, do your research. You've started that with this thread, but just continue to inform yourself. There are many resources online (most of them revolve around what @Scarletbegonia has already advised). Give yourself some confidence by using a finger and feeling that there isn't barbed wire up there. Get a good lube and make your first try with a condom.

 

[Fishsqueezee69]

So I'm strictly a bottom, but my boyfriend wants me to top him. It's not do or die, but sometimes I do feel bad that I locked him into the role of a top (he's vers top).

I can't get over the fear of topping. I had an incident when I was younger involving my dick that kinda scares me for someone who is uncut. I also can't get past the idea of going into a butthole (lol sorry) and how stuff goes on down there. I'm afraid I might see some brown stuff or even red stuff despite my boyfriend telling me that he'll be fine.

Oh, we also joke about finding someone else to top him but he wants me specifically

Help!

So what happened? Did u do it?

I think my husband has your same issue. I want him to top me but he seems reluctant so I don't bring it up anymore... he is also uncut and has a very tight foreskin that doesn't pull back.

He had a straight friend who had the same issue you had but during sex with a girl. He too was traumatized for some time.

 

[SkySkin77]

watch anal porn
imagine yourself as the top
then try it when you're with your partner and really horny
good luck

 

[navywill83]

Practice makes perfect and play with other toys that are the same idea/similar as the one that hurt you in the past. Use the new toys as a corrective action that will get u over the fear and that bad memory...start enjoying the in and out action till it’s second nature then go for his hole.

When ready, use a condom, lot of lube, have him be clean for now and dim the lights. What u can’t see isn’t there!

 

[snobbz6]

i used to think the same way when i was younger. i loved getting my ass fucked but the idea of me fucking an ass almost grossed me out lol. but then i finally topped one time and it just felt so damn good that i forgot all about my fears lol