How do you cope?

[theogman]

As much as I really like that there is a place like this where we can talk open and freely about stuff that is often taboo, I'm equally often saddened by what I meet.

Browsing LPSG is too often like looking into the repressed subconscious of masculinity, with porn as the primary reference for sexuality. Misogony, lack of empathy, women objectified and treated as means for the male satisfaction. More or less the heart of darkness? A part of me would rather that women were not allowed to enter since this is by far a flattering look into the male psyche. And in reality I guess many leave the site in schock? But I really would have liked this to be inclusive to all.

So, to you women who are still here, how do you cope? And how has this site affected your attitude and understanding of men and masculinity?

(Sorry if my English is not perfect, it's not my native language)

 

[LaFemme]

Personally, this site has really jaded my view of men and relationships. I have become abstinent. Truthfully, after 12 years of seeing into the darkest part of the male mind - I cannot envision ever entering into another relationship. Cheating seems to be almost a given. So does secret misogyny and porn driven sex.

Now, I know there are good men. There are good men here that I’ve met. (Or have I?). I like to think the couple of men I’ve raised are good men, and I hope the male friends I have are also good men. You just never know though, do you.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

My personal experiences with men in person aren't much different from some of the shit I see posted here.

I already knew men are the way they are (yes I'm generalizing for the sake of simplifying my point) so this place hasn't changed my views of humanity much at all.

Humans are shit in my opinion, no matter the gender/sexuality of the individual. We are nothing more than arrogant apes.

 

[theogman]

Personally, this site has really jaded my view of men and relationships. I have become abstinent. Truthfully, after 12 years of seeing into the darkest part of the male mind - I cannot envision ever entering into another relationship. Cheating seems to be almost a given. So does secret misogyny and porn driven sex.

Now, I know there are good men. There are good men here that I’ve met. (Or have I?). I like to think the couple of men I’ve raised are good men, and I hope the male friends I have are also good men. You just never know though, do you.

Thanks for answering!
I'm truly sorry to hear how this site has affected you. It was pretty much the answer I expected, and feared at the same time.

Somewhere I'm convinced that there is positive masculinity and good men out there. It's just hard to believe when on here.

The silent (majority? or minority?) should speak up against the misogony. It's hard to do by yourself, but I have no excuse not to start.

 

[theogman]

My personal experiences with men in person aren't much different from some of the shit I see posted here.

I already knew men are the way they are (yes I'm generalizing for the sake of simplifying my point) so this place hasn't changed my views of humanity much at all.

Humans are shit in my opinion, no matter the gender/sexuality of the individual. We are nothing more than arrogant apes.

Sorry to hear that your personal experience has been so negative.
This being a community, should be supportive, not increasing the bad sides of men and humanity.

 

[TinyPrincess]

The view into the darkest parts of the male mind is actually one of the reasons I still stick around.

 

[AllieHeidi]

So, to you women who are still here, how do you cope?

There's nothing to "cope" with per se. I consider coping an exercise used when one has lost something of deep value. Getting a raw glimpse into the male sexual psyche merely vindicated a perspective that I had that was already mostly negative.

And how has this site affected your attitude and understanding of men and masculinity?

It hasn't. If anything, it's made me more comfortable with the fact that I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to them. I never have been. This site, however, has in a way helped me to understand why that is. There is absolutely no compatibility between men and myself. We're too different sexually and emotionally. We can maybe bond mentally, say over various topics and hobbies like video games and anime, but that's about it. There's nothing else there and there won't be.

 

[theogman]

The view into the darkest parts of the male mind is actually one of the reasons I still stick around.

What is the reason for wanting to enter the darkness? Will you be able to / want to share your findings?

 

[theogman]

There's nothing to "cope" with per se. I consider coping an exercise used when one has lost something of deep value. Getting a raw glimpse into the male sexual psyche merely vindicated a perspective that I had that was already mostly negative.



It hasn't. If anything, it's made me more comfortable with the fact that I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to them. I never have been. This site, however, has in a way helped me to understand why that is. There is absolutely no compatibility between men and myself. We're too different sexually and emotionally. We can maybe bond mentally, say over various topics and hobbies like video games and anime, but that's about it. There's nothing else there and there won't be.

I'm glad to hear that you are in a good place with this, but fear a gender polarization in society. Not sure how to move in the direction of mutual respect and understanding on a societal level though? Restrict porn? Education? The good men speaking up?

 

[AllieHeidi]

I'm glad to hear that you are in a good place with this, but fear a gender polarization in society. Not sure how to move in the direction of mutual respect and understanding on a societal level though? Restrict porn? Education? The good men speaking up?

I don't think this is necessary. I can peacefully coexist with people regardless of whether or not I would choose to engage in deeper, more intimate interpersonal relationships with them. Men can do whatever they want and continue with their thrills. That's, to quote a meme, none of my business.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Sorry to hear that your personal experience has been so negative.
This being a community, should be supportive, not increasing the bad sides of men and humanity.

It hasn't been *mostly* negative. Same goes for my time as a member here. Yeah people are fucked in the head. But not all of them all the time.

My partner is an amazing, honest, respectable human being. He's flawed. He has his dark side but so do I.

We have an amazing sex life together as well. He's the person who showed me this website, and I'm glad he did.

 

[theogman]

I don't think this is necessary. I can peacefully coexist with people regardless of whether or not I would choose to engage in deeper, more intimate interpersonal relationships with them. Men can do whatever they want and continue with their thrills. That's, to quote a meme, none of my business.

I'm sure you can coexist peacefully without men, but my fear is that men will not be equally peaceful if women turn their back at them? (Again at a societal level)
Misogonist terrorism is already a thing.

 

[theogman]

It hasn't been *mostly* negative. Same goes for my time as a member here. Yeah people are fucked in the head. But not all of them all the time.

My partner is an amazing, honest, respectable human being. He's flawed. He has his dark side but so do I.

We have an amazing sex life together as well. He's the person who showed me this website, and I'm glad he did.

I'm glad you have a man like that, sounds amazing!

 

[AllieHeidi]

but my fear is that men will not be equally peaceful if women turn their back at them? (Again at a societal level)

I doubt it. And even if that does happen (again, highly unlikely) then that sounds like a "them" problem. Not a "me" problem.

I'm good.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm sure you can coexist peacefully without men, but my fear is that men will not be equally peaceful if women turn their back at them? (Again at a societal level)
Misogonist terrorism is already a thing.

Men are already unequally unpeaceful towards women world wide statistically. That's always been true in most cultures/societies/civilizations throughout history. Like you said it's already a thing.

I don't think it's gonna get much further exacerbated than it's been the last 50 years or so. I think climate change will take the human species out before a gender war.

 

[theogman]

Men are already unequally unpeaceful towards women world wide statistically. That's always been true in most cultures/societies/civilizations throughout history. Like you said it's already a thing.

I don't think it's gonna get much further exacerbated than it's been the last 50 years or so. I think climate change will take the human species out before a gender war.

You're def right about mens violence towards women, and I sure wish for a brighter future for the planet, but it sure doesn't look good at the moment.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Men are already unequally unpeaceful towards women world wide statistically. That's always been true in most cultures/societies/civilizations throughout history. Like you said it's already a thing.

Perhaps OP has just been given further insight into why that is the case. The fears that women will, en masse, start abandoning men due to this, while hilarious to think about, I think are a bit hyperbolic, though. But I can understand the initial shock when you see things that, frankly, cannot be unseen.

All men that have these thoughts aren't so undisciplined that they don't treat women with respect when interacting with them, however. If anything, a large portion of the men who, in fact, do hide their true nature from women may make up a large portion of this site, using it as an outlet. As I said, it's not my business and has nothing to do with me. As long as they're not being inappropriate offline to me or anyone else, I couldn't care less what they do on here and it's not going to change how I interact with men offline.

There's no need to go around assuming all men are "monsters" who will harm you on sight just because we've been given a peek into what they think. So what? The vast majority won't harm anyone. I have several brothers and can attest to this, and it doesn't exactly sit well with me that there are women out there who may view them as "a threat" just because they're male. They don't bother anyone and mind their own business. I'm just saying, be reasonable.

 

[AllieHeidi]

I like to think the couple of men I’ve raised are good men

That's how I feel about my brothers. I'm confident that they're good, decent, young men. One of them is also an excellent father to my niece which was very important to him because our own father wasn't the greatest. So, they are out there and I have no problems socializing with them in non-romantic or sexual interactions because I can't connect with them on that level, nor do I want to. That's my own personal situation, though, and mostly because of who I am. It's got very little to do with who men are.

 

[EllieP]

As Samuel L. Jackson said in reference to something else "This is just Tuesday for us."

You encounter crap? You learn how to deal with it. You either let it cover you, or go around it. Some crap should be ignored. Some crap must be dealt with.

That said, if I found myself suddenly single tomorrow I'd just get more cats and learn to be happy.

 

[theogman]

As Samuel L. Jackson said in reference to something else "This is just Tuesday for us."

You encounter crap? You learn how to deal with it. You either let it cover you, or go around it. Some crap should be ignored. Some crap must be dealt with.

That said, if I found myself suddenly single tomorrow I'd just get more cats and learn to be happy.

Thanks! Wisdom to remeber.
I hope you will be happy, not more single than you want to, and with all the cats it takes.