How Much Do You Touch?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by goodwood, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. goodwood

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    i am curious about how much you touch.
    i was reared in the manner that the only way a man would touch a woman was to greet her with a kiss-kiss on each cheek.
    Men would only be limited to a handshake.
    My upbringing was of the most repressed waspy variety.
    when on my own, i decided to break from that and make like my european friends and give a big hug, embrace of welcome.
    this causes consternation among people that were brought up as i was but i figure since we were brought up to not touch, why not give a big hug and kiss to those we are friends with?
    What do you think?
    I am all for a good welcome hug, embrace and kiss.
     
  2. killerb

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    I'm definitely not a touchy-feely guy...
    but I'm ok w/ hugs now...for a long time I didn't like to be touched...
     
  3. unkutt1

    unkutt1 New Member

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    It really depends on who I'm around and if I can gauge whether or not others (or even I) am comfortable in a given situation.
    BTW goodwood, you can come hug/touch me all you want!:biggrin1:
     
  4. starter

    starter New Member

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    i always hug my close friends but that about it anyone else gets a shake or a waive.
     
  5. badgirl22

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    I was brought up with little touching as well. Hey, i didnt even get the kiss the girls on the cheek thing. But, I decided to give my friends hugs. Was very strange at first to do so. Now, I regularly give people i care about hugs. I get weirded out when someone i don't know hugs me though. Guess I can't shake all that upbringing.
     
  6. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    Yeah, I, uh, I don't like to be touched. Or hugged. I never really liked it. If I "know" the person, I don't mind, but friends and what not, it feels weird.
     
  7. midlifebear

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    In Spain and Argentina I kiss (actually, brush cheeks) with everyone I meet and usually offer a gentle hug if I've met the person before. If they are good friends we touch or kiss cheeks several times, hug enthusiastically, upon meeting and once again upon saying goodbye. We also gang up on one another and tickle ribs, pat stomachs (!Que barriga!), slap one another on the ass, pinch butts, and frequently walk arm in arm. So does everyone else, straight or gay.

    In the USA I won't even shake hands with another person. In the western States they seem to think it's OK to try and crush your fucking hand as a means of Alpha dog saying "Hello." I've actually had two men damage my right hand (torn ligaments and bruised metacarpals). Fuck them! And when they notice that I do not extend my hand forward to greet them they'll ask something stupid like, "What's the matter? Don you shake hands?" with the insinuation that they are not good enough for me to touch. Point of fact, 99% of them ARE NOT worthy of me touching them, especially when I notice they were mining for gold up their nose just prior to being introduced.

    Despite all of the "old world" kissing and touching, I rarely get a head cold outside of the USA. But within the USA it's as though I've been thrown into a petri dish full cold viruses. Another issue: Americans RARELY cover their mouths with a tissue or handkerchief when coughing or sneezing. Most Latin Americans who life in large cities and Spaniards would never consider NOT covering their mouth and nose. Hawking luggies and blowing snot out of one nostril without a Kleenex is also frowned upon outside the USA. It's rather nice not having to avoid large clots of lung bunny snot on the sidewalks when meandering down the streets. However, to be fair, the streets of most European cities are heavily mined with dog shit.
     
  8. vergax

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    There are salutations for each country.
    Not all european countries hug or kiss. Many central and northern europeans kiss 3 times, but the kiss is actually not on the cheeks but to the air while lightly brushing the cheeks.
    In romanic countries most of the time is either 1 or 2 kisses, this time mostly directly on the cheeks, but depends on region.

    In scandinavian countries is different and they rarely even shake hands or kiss inmy experience, their culture is very non-touchy. (which i favor, also)

    The big hug was a surprise for me with irish men, i found it rather a nice display, to be sincere, because it seemed honest.

    In some iberoamerican countries specially in the southern cone, men regularly kiss on the cheeks and nobody even thinks is a closet gay thing, it is just normal.

    The hard hand shake amongst men is overrated, they can injure one's hand as the previous poster stated, since my hands are important, i try to avoid shaking hands with self proclamed "alpha" men :)

    I kiss a few men on the cheeks (father, uncle etc).
    I touch or kiss only with people i appreciate.
     
  9. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I'm from an Italian-American family and we all hug and kiss a lot, so that's how I am now. But I'm not into affection with everyone because many peeps feel uncomfortable with it. I'm super affectionate with my g/f (obviously) and close friends of both genders.
     
  10. D_eeglefleegle

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    I am a very welcoming. I'd rather give a hug than a handshake. If I know the person, maybe kiss on the check, especially when saying goodbye. If you're a stranger I wouldn't go hugging on you, but if I knew you, of course; unless it made you uncomfortable.
     
  11. Nala

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    The people I don't know (or don't like) I shake hands with. The ones I know and like: hand on the shoulder while we kiss on the cheek (we do actually kiss, 3 times, no cheek rubbing here). The ones I really like and love: a big hug and kisses.

    I hate shaking hands, for most of the time my hands hurt and it's very painful to shake hands. That's why I prefer to put my hand on the shoulder.

    I've learned it's appropriate to shake hands and say hello, safe the kisses only for close family. I was the first one of our family showing my feelings to other people.
     
  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Im very stand-offish with people. I cant even remember the last time i hugged my parents let alone a friend or stranger
     
  13. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Shaking hands, but with the grandfathers I give a kiss on the cheeks.
     
  14. Dave NoCal

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    Having lived in Latin America for quite a few years, hugging and being hugged by people I like feels very normal and nice.
    Dave
     
  15. barkerfan

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    Sicilian-American here. We are the same way. Anyone I know, I am very affectionate and touchy with as long as they are comfortable with it also. Even if someone I just met wants to give me a hug because they've " heard so much" about me, I'm cool with that.
     
  16. maestro071

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    Kissing, huging and touching is normal and usual thing among family & friends in all mediterenian counties. That's part of the culture...
    Personally I don't like that much, but also I don't mind...thats how it is here...
     
  17. plumbr

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    I think embracing family, friends, and possibly accquaintances is a wondering thing. People need to be more comfortable with hugging another human being. It isn't supposed to be sexual.
     
  18. cyberczar

    cyberczar New Member

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    I'm a very touchy feely person, and love embraces and hugs, but only from close friends and relatives.

    Acquaintenances are greeted with a handshake.
     
  19. Gnashin Teefe

    Gnashin Teefe New Member

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    I was raised in a family that kisses and hugs. I kissed my father until i was about 12 or so.

    Even as an adult, I still kiss female relatives, hugs for male relatives.
     
  20. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I was raised with that WASPy reserve but for some reason it wasn't my nature and as soon as I began to develop as an adult I became extremely tactile and affectionate with the people I care about. Consequently, my family has opened up a lot around that. Because that's second nature for me, it tends to put other people at ease with it as well although I try to take my cues from them when it doesn't.
     
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