I do the same thing, but a little different. I put on makeup and do my hair, and take care in choosing my clothing. Then I go out with my girls, dance, have some drinks, flirt a bit, and go home. Then with my head full of the complements I was just given I go and bang my husband. He knows I was out, being admired. He also knows I let those boys work me up, and he gets the benefit! Maybe explain to her that this makes you feel sexy, and you enjoy being desired, but it all comes back to her. If she can't relate to that well, I dunno.
