Insecurities

[Ethan Trainer]

I am a 22 year old, who has delt with insecurities all of his life. I’m still a virgin, a horny virgin I might add, who cannot land a one night stand with anyone, men or women.

The looks are there (as my friends tell me), but the confidence isn’t. To make things worse, I don’t have my own place and come from a very conservative society so the girls are very hard to get and gay apps are very risky. Even if they weren’t I still wouldn’t have the courage to go through with meeting a stranger.

I will be travelling to New York in a few weeks, but am totally lost as to how to act so that I can make the most of my stay, sexually that is. I need a wake up call and I’m hoping the community here will help me with it !

 

[TexanStar]

I am a 22 year old, who has delt with insecurities all of his life. I’m still a virgin, a horny virgin I might add, who cannot land a one night stand with anyone, men or women.

Why are you so interested in one night stands? Why not work towards a relationship?

 

[ronin001]

What he said

 

[Ethan Trainer]

Why are you so interested in one night stands? Why not work towards a relationship?

You are right when you say it like this, but I’m a person that doesn’t open easily and the aspect of a relationship seems even more unreachable to me !
I’m an emotional mess to put it in a sentence

 

[1050059]

You are right when you say it like this, but I’m a person that doesn’t open easily and the aspect of a relationship seems even more unreachable to me !
I’m an emotional mess to put it in a sentence

Sounds like you found your problem. End of story.

 

[nicnic]

Work to become the type of person you'd like to date. I totally understand being an introvert, but practice doing something each day that challenges you. Find some healthy discomfort.

Don't be in a big hurry to have sex. Work toward making your first sex meaningful by sharing it with somebody you care about, not a one night stand.

 

[Ethan Trainer]

Sounds like you found your problem. End of story.

I know that that’s my problem. My request was if someone could help me fix it

 

[Ethan Trainer]

Work to become the type of person you'd like to date. I totally understand being an introvert, but practice doing something each day that challenges you. Find some healthy discomfort.

Don't be in a big hurry to have sex. Work toward making your first sex meaningful by sharing it with somebody you care about, not a one night stand.

Love this ! Thank you

 

[halcyondays]

Just remember there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. Trying too hard to be extroverted may make you miserable if it's not your natural preference.

There's also a difference between being an introvert and being shy. Introversion is a normal personality trait. Shyness is a sign of neurosis driven by issues of fear, repression, guilt, shame, or self esteem created by events in youth and later on.

By their very nature neuroses affect you unconsciously. A good therapist will help you bring them to the light of day and free you from their power, helping you more become more self-confident.