Interesting hook up

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by B_starinvestor, Apr 4, 2009.

  1. B_starinvestor

    B_starinvestor New Member

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    Soooooo

    Went to happy hour around 5:00 yesterday at a trendy bar/restaurant...got nice and tuned up...anyway, starting chatting up this girl, guess she works in retail blah blah blah.

    One thing leads to another...after a little drama with her girlfriends she winds up going home with me around 1:00 a.m.

    No kidding - top 2 or 3 sets of tits I've ever seen in my life. I mean, unbelievable. So I smack those around for a few minutes, then I go down to take her panties off and.....

    :eek:

    Biggest fucking bush I've ever seen in my life! I mean, it looked like she had a wig in her crotch.

    I'm like, 'what the fuck is this? It looks like a fucking shrub?' Jezuz!! No way I'm going in there. It would be like sticking your head in a spruce tree.

    She says, 'well, i haven't dated anyone since August so I just let it go.' Let it go? Have you been watering and fertilizing it?

    Fuck. I mean it is 2009. I could see if it was 1972 but holy schnikeees.

    Wow. Well anyway, due to a high alcohol content it took me a rather long time to, eh, finish up. But she's doing kinda different stuff like smacking me, squeezing my neck, lots of noises, etc.

    Afterwards, I say, what do you like...what get's you going, etc.? She says, "I need you to pull my hair, smack me hard, really fuck me as hard as you can. I like to be in pain when I''m fucking.

    Yowza. Great tits and she's into all that. So fucking cool.

    That bush has got to go though.:biggrin1:
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Sometimes you remind me of Hemingway.
     
  3. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

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    Thanks for sharing!:rolleyes:
     
  4. B_starinvestor

    B_starinvestor New Member

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    Thanks


    Jerk
     
  5. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Cross of Henry Miller and Mickey Spillane, leaning heavy on the Spillane.
    ('Crotch wig' ... niiiiiiiiiiice.)

    Nice tweet.
     
  6. HazelGod

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    You do realize that no straight man "tweets," right? :wink:
     
  7. Gl3nn

    Gold Member

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    Did you create this thread to show us you don't have to pay for sex?

    Oh no...my mistake. You didn't pay for sex...you just gave her 300$.
     
  8. D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse

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    starinvestor writes:

    No kidding - top 2 or 3 sets of tits I've ever seen in my life. I mean, unbelievable. So I smack those around for a few minutes, then I go down to take her panties off and.....

    :eek:



    --------------------

    Damn. When I saw that ":eek:", I thought for sure you were going to say her dick was bigger than yours.


    I don't mean to get too dollar-book Freud on you starman, but the leitmotif of booze runs like a river through your posts. - In fact between the booze, wild politics and black-eyed, fat-lipped hookers that show up on your doorstep, reading your adventures is coming perilously close to watching a reality show celebrity booze it up, slur his phrases, get involved in weird kinky sex, then stagger around the house until he finally passes out.
     
  9. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

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    Well that puts a new slant on it...I'll start reading more carefully!
     
  10. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Hahaha, sometimes you have to take things to get more! hahaha. You are on a discovery down there!
     
  11. vince

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    "Thread move on Aisle three!!"
     
  12. goodwood

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  13. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    The word he's looking for is "merkin", Rubes. Or in star's case more specifically, a-merkin.
     
  14. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    But he's trying (in so many ways).
    And he can't even spell Jebuz.
    Jebuz.
     
  15. larocca

    larocca New Member

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    "Have you been watering and fertilizing it?"

    Hahahahahahahahahhaha.
     
  16. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    You needn't enumerate. In fact, please don't.
     
  17. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Don't worry.
    Four fingers and three toes ... but beyond seven, they're all high numbers.
     
  18. Wish-4-8

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    Well at least she knew she let it grow, implying that she does trim the hedges at one point.
     
  19. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I said "please".
     
  20. vergax

    vergax Member

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    I thought for that paused moment that you had a close encounter with a shemale there!
     
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