Is she horny?

efrmtexas87

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Nah, it is just common sense. Some people are born with confidence, others have to cultivate it. Confidence is cultivated by success, and success comes from action.

I definitely have confidence it's just my current situation I don't have too much to offer. No job at the moment getting interviewed tomm. No car sold it to help my parents situation. That's why I choose to be single at the moment and once I have my priorities straight I can approach any woman without hesitation. You saying in shouldn't worry about those things and try it anyway?
 
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Focusing on yourself and getting your shit together would be my vote, honestly. While I don't expect someone to be a millionaire, being self-sufficient is a requirement. Whether that means being a diligent student, working, whatever. No car isn't the deal breaker for me, but no job, and presumably not being a student/doing something else, either?
 

efrmtexas87

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Exactly but if I were to explain my whole life story on why I don't have these things you'd probably understand why. Getting a job is no big deal to me education I can get is no big deal to me getting a vehicle is going to take some time and I also mentally need to get myself together. I think I am a very attractive man also so confidence is def. not lacking here I just like you said need to focus on myself.
 
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I'm aware of various shitty life things happening. I don't have a car right now either, but I in general have my shit together. That's all I'm saying.
 
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If you don't feel ready for a relationship then don't. Take all the pressure off yourself and stop over thinking it. It's good to be single and not looking and I don't see any stigma attached to it. Good for you.
 
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efrmtexas87

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If you don't feel ready for a relationship then don't. Take all the pressure off yourself and stop over thinking it. It's good to be single and not looking and I don't see any stigma attached to it. Good for you.

Thanks bonfire I'm just frustrated from everything that's going on at once. I was single for 7 years until I decided to try a relationship again then 2 months later I found out she was cheating on me. Anyways thanks for your concern and I say we focus at the question at hand. What are signs when your horny and what signs should I look for?
 

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I imagine you are looking for DATING cues.... and tbh it's been so long, I've forgotten. I think when we were dating after about the 3-4th date, we began to get personal in a real kind of way. We did a good bit of heavy petting before moving to the next "base" but back then, I do believe people moved much slower than they do now. After about 6 months, we finally "took the plunge" so to speak. I was always encouraging and he always knew my horny level. There was never a doubt.

In today's society I have no idea how to "read" people anymore. (I'm not even sure the analogy of moving around the bases is even appropriate any more.) I figure just being honest and upfront is the best way to be. You'll get some "hell no's" but eventually you'll find the ones that are raring to have a go at ya.

Being a virgin, you want the first time to be memorable ... (I'm guessing) so more of an emotional / intelligence connection should be made first. Then bring the big gun out when there's mutual attraction, desire and need for each other to take it to that level. (yeah... I'm real old school)
 

efrmtexas87

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I imagine you are looking for DATING cues.... and tbh it's been so long, I've forgotten. I think when we were dating after about the 3-4th date, we began to get personal in a real kind of way. We did a good bit of heavy petting before moving to the next "base" but back then, I do believe people moved much slower than they do now. After about 6 months, we finally "took the plunge" so to speak. I was always encouraging and he always knew my horny level. There was never a doubt.

In today's society I have no idea how to "read" people anymore. (I'm not even sure the analogy of moving around the bases is even appropriate any more.) I figure just being honest and upfront is the best way to be. You'll get some "hell no's" but eventually you'll find the ones that are raring to have a go at ya.

Being a virgin, you want the first time to be memorable ... (I'm guessing) so more of an emotional / intelligence connection should be made first. Then bring the big gun out when there's mutual attraction, desire and need for each other to take it to that level. (yeah... I'm real old school)

Thank you Betty you made alot of good points and I appreciate that. Being upfront and honest is what I have been doing lately because keeping it to myself and letting it go seems like it's going to be a continuous pattern if I don't say anything at all. Nothing wrong with being old school I'm kinda an old school man myself "open doors letting the seat out when she sits down cooking for her etc." I have trouble reading women today because I'll pass by say hi to a group of women like it's no big deal then I hear some giggles wondering what it's about. And to answer your question yup I do want it to be memorable because whoever the woman is I'm going to pleasure her and rock her world like their is no tomorrow best believe that!
 
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AlteredEgo

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If you're letting giggling throw you off, you don't have as much confidence as you think. Until that improves, why not act "as if"? For example, giggling could very well be a good thing. Therefore, act as if you know for sure the giggling ought to be encouraging. And I think you can have a little fun while you get your house in order. You can still gain employment, help your parents, or whatever, and make new friendships and date, and even have sex if you aren't deliberately saving your virginity. None of that has to mean you have a serious commitment to anyone, and it's good practice. If what you want is a girlfriend, then I agree with Fade. Get your life together first.
 
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efrmtexas87

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If you're letting giggling throw you off, you don't have as much confidence as you think. Until that improves, why not act "as if"? For example, giggling could very well be a good thing. Therefore, act as if you know for sure the giggling ought to be encouraging. And I think you can have a little fun while you get your house in order. You can still gain employment, help your parents, or whatever, and make new friendships and date, and even have sex if you aren't deliberately saving your virginity. None of that has to mean you have a serious commitment to anyone, and it's good practice. If what you want is a girlfriend, then I agree with Fade. Get your life together first.

No I am not letting the giggling get to me if anything I laugh it off and continue doing whatever I'm doing like it's no big deal. I was just saying I don't know what the giggling means and just pretty much asking for feedback. Honestly at the moment I don't want no relationship just women that are down to earth that I can talk to and won't bitch me out over talking about anything sexual which is what I'm used too. I def. still want to have fun also but if things end up in a relationship in won't complain either it is what it is.
 

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I don't mind replying to seriously framed questions (even when they sound like fap fodder.) You seem to really be interested in finding out as much as you can (from your other posts as well.)

Serious questions are always welcomed (and might get some jokes here and there... for levity's sake.)
 

efrmtexas87

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I don't mind replying to seriously framed questions (even when they sound like fap fodder.) You seem to really be interested in finding out as much as you can (from your other posts as well.)

Serious questions are always welcomed (and might get some jokes here and there... for levity's sake.)

Haha I honestly do want feedback and want to know as much as I can from women sometimes it's bad sometimes it's good I'll tell you one thing. I've learned alot from you and the other ladies on here and I hope we continue this progress because yall are def. giving me alot more confidence.
 

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No I am not letting the giggling get to me if anything I laugh it off and continue doing whatever I'm doing like it's no big deal.

I'll pass by say hi to a group of women like it's no big deal then I hear some giggles wondering what it's about.

These two statements just seem a bit contradictory to me. I'll tell you something as someone who was not born confident. Wondering about the laughter of others leads often down a toxic path of negative self-talk. Don't just go on LIKE it is nothing. Understand that it TRULY IS nothing. It has no bearing on your agenda. You want to converse with a particular woman and she and her friends start giggling? Isolate her, if she'll let you. Get her away from groupthink hive mind if she's willing. Ask her to dance with you, if it is that kind of venue. Ask her to come give you her opinion on some merchandise if it is a store. If she won't tolerate removal from her group, or there isn't a non-creepy way to speak with her away from the giggle gaggle, just talk to all of them. Their laughter is irrelevant. You will catch on to the cause if it is any of your business. Confidence knows that. Unless someone is being fairly obvious about disinterest, confidence assumes the best. And when disinclination is obvious, confidence knows that's not a big deal and looks forward to meeting someine else. You'll get there. Just fake it until you do.
 
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efrmtexas87

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These two statements just seem a bit contradictory to me. I'll tell you something as someone who was not born confident. Wondering about the laughter of others leads often down a toxic path of negative self-talk. Don't just go on LIKE it is nothing. Understand that it TRULY IS nothing. It has no bearing on your agenda. You want to converse with a particular woman and she and her friends start giggling? Isolate her, if she'll let you. Get her away from groupthink hive mind if she's willing. Ask her to dance with you, if it is that kind of venue. Ask her to come give you her opinion on some merchandise if it is a store. If she won't tolerate removal from her group, or there isn't a non-creepy way to speak with her away from the giggle gaggle, just talk to all of them. Their laughter is irrelevant. You will catch on to the cause if it is any of your business. Confidence knows that. Unless someone is being fairly obvious about disinterest, confidence assumes the best. And when disinclination is obvious, confidence knows that's not a big deal and looks forward to meeting someine else. You'll get there. Just fake it until you do.

I see now how about another situation when I walk into the room and a woman says it's hot in here and I go it's ok I'll leave the room implying that I look good is that coming off as confident and funny? Or cocky and assholish. Also in your words kind of being confident and knowing that your confident is two diff. things yes? My bad if this is confusing I'm trying to figure this out the way your trying to explain it.
 

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I see now how about another situation when I walk into the room and a woman says it's hot in here and I go it's ok I'll leave the room implying that I look good is that coming off as confident and funny? Or cocky and assholish. Also in your words kind of being confident and knowing that your confident is two diff. things yes? My bad if this is confusing I'm trying to figure this out the way your trying to explain it.
It could be funny. You'd better be a quick thinker and have more jokes to fire off if she bites and cracks some jokes of her own. Might be better if you blame it on the presence of both of you, instead of just yourself if you aren't sure your delivery cones across the way you'd like. Planning one liners in advance can come across as stilted and stale though.

No difference between being confident and knowing you're confident. There is a difference between telling yourself you are confident when you aren't (which may be an important step toward genuine confidence) and actually being confident. I sense from things you write that you are the former, rather than the latter.
 

efrmtexas87

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It could be funny. You'd better be a quick thinker and have more jokes to fire off if she bites and cracks some jokes of her own. Might be better if you blame it on the presence of both of you, instead of just yourself if you aren't sure your delivery cones across the way you'd like. Planning one liners in advance can come across as stilted and stale though.

No difference between being confident and knowing you're confident. There is a difference between telling yourself you are confident when you aren't (which may be an important step toward genuine confidence) and actually being confident. I sense from things you write that you are the former, rather than the latter.

Interesting well like you said I'll get it its my past that's probably making me second guess everything. I'm a sweet talker believe it or not you may not be able to tell from the posts but if a woman flirts with me I'll flirt back. My mindset isn't right what I'm going through and I'm trying my best not to let it get to me but it is so bare with me. Like you said I'll get it and thanks again ego for your replies and inspiration.
 
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