Is there a problem with me?

[NBRudy]

I recently (within 2 weeks) had my first blowjob and sexual experience.

At first, she tried to give me head, but I just couldn't come, which is odd because I was anticipating recieving oral for the longest time. I masturbate about daily, but I usually finish it up pretty quickly. She gave up after about a half hour and I apologized, but she said to not worry about it, that it was probably just nerves. I fingered her and ate her out for a little while.

A couple days later, we were alone again and decided to have sex. I used a condom, and she gave me head for about 5 minutes before it just so I could get hard. I put the condom on and entered her. We had sex for over and hour before I finally came. I hear a lot of stories about guys hardly even lasting 5 minutes for the first time they have sex, lasting an hour seems amazing.

Is there something wrong with me? I was totally into it. Was I just nervous?

 

[ericbear]

I don't think there is anything wrong at all. Besides, lasting a long time is generally a good thing, although there is certainly such a thing as too long.

If this is your first time, you are used to the feel of your own hand, so you experienced new stimuli when having sex. Many men can't get off at all from oral sex, so don't worry about that. During intercourse, you used a condom (a good thing&#33, which dramatically alters and reduces sensation. I can bring myself off quite quickly, but often can not cum at all with someone else. This really doesn't matter to me, as I believe the real gratification in sex is pleasing the other person. As time goes on, you may find you are better able to control when you cum while having sex. But, you may find that you still take too long for your partner. While it's good to last a long time, your partner probably wants to see you get off at a certain time when it will be a fulfilling experience for them, too. I usually deal with this by doing something else to them while I play with myself until I'm almost ready, then reinsert (orally or intercourse) so they are able to actually bring me off.

Also, when using condoms (strongly recommended&#33, be sure it fits properly. Until recently, when the "They Fit" condoms became available, I was always squeezed into something too small for my girth, and was rarely able to cum with the condom on. Now, with an adequate fit, I find I can cum much more often.

 

[lapdog2001]

There is nothing wrong with you.

Was it a typical 1st time, or even a typical 10,000th time? No. Most guys wish they could last that long! :lol:

As long as you were enjoying yourself, and your girlfriend was enjoying herself, then it can't be wrong. You also can't base your questions on just the one sexual experience.

A condom can help desensitize your penis, which does help you last longer. If you notice that you always last this long, even when you and your girlfriend really don't want it to last that long, try putting a few drops of lube into the top of the condom before you roll it on. This will cause some of the loose material at the top (which you are leaving some, correct?) to move around and stimulate you. Maybe you will last 30 seconds, 10 minutes, or two hours, who knows? :lol:

As for not coming when your girlfriend gave you head: Is she using her hands as well as her mouth? Are you guiding her and encouraging her when she does the things that give you the most pleasure? I've had as long as 30 minutes of continuous head and not come. Other times, 5 minutes was more than enough! Every time will be different.

Keep practicing safer sex.

LapDog2001

 

[NBRudy]

Thanks for the responses.

I am sure the condom fit fine. I am not large at all. 6-7 inches. I did leave room at the tip.

She used her hands and her mouth when giving me oral. I tried my best to guide her, and tried my best to cum. Maybe I was just concentrating too hard on trying to come and I should've just sat and enjoyed it.

 

[Steve26]

Hi, NBRudy -- The more important dimension in terms of the sensitivity of a condom-clad penis is the tool's girth/width, not its length. Your penis may be "only" 6-7", as you say, but if it is significantly thicker than average and you are squeezing it into a regular-size condom, your sensitivity may be dramatically reduced. Use a cloth tape measure to determine your penis's circumference; if it's more than about 5.5" or 6" then you should probably be using larger condoms. (The average circumference of an erect adult penis, btw, is around 5".)

I, too, was unable to cum during my earliest sexual experiences; as other guys here have said it's not at all uncommon. Soon enough I was functioning just fine. You were no doubt somewhat nervous, having anticipated the event for so long, and this kind of nervousness can hinder performance. As you become more comfortable sexually with your girlfriend and have more sexual experiences, this "problem" will likely resolve itself.

Good luck, dude!

~ Steve

 

[ericbear]

Originally posted by NBRudy@Aug 31 2004, 05:19 PM
Maybe I was just concentrating too hard on trying to come and I should've just sat and enjoyed it.

Absolutely! Never try to cum, because you probably will not. Instead just let yourself go, and so long as you enjoy it, don't worry!

 

[hungthick]

NBRUDY I think you are not ready for sex.

The first time a girl gave me head I shot in a matter of minutes.

Don't sweat about taking too long because whatever it is it will work itself out.

 

[Bluespeedoz]

Hey

Don't worry about it - that'll just make things worse!!

I don't think you were nervous because if this was the case you would probably have come very quickly. I think that because you were looking forward to receiving head so much that you became anxious about it during sex and so didn't cum. Or maybe you just weren't in the mood - it happens. It'll be better next time if you relax, throw away your inhibitions and just do what comes naturally.



-_-