Is this cheating?

[3151]

Ask yourself these questions:

1. If you were doing this with an old female friend with whom you had a 'friends with benefits' relationship before meeting the current girlfriend, would that be cheating. Whether you're in bed and touching a penis or vagina without the current gf's knowledge, this is cheating.

2. If she asked what you did last night (and you were with him) would you say you were with him at all, or something completely different to cover your tracks?

3. Do you erased your text and emails with this other man? What if she saw the messages "hey, last night was hot, let's do it again sometime soon?"

Also... what about hurting the other guy? He may lose in this situation too.

 

[Pierced1953]

Cheating!

You can start fresh. She knows your bi, so tell her about this guy and how you still enjoy jacking each other off. Then she can decide if she can handle your bi side. She might decide to move on, but with you being honest with her she might just let your male friend join both of you and nobody gets hurt.

 

[istanbulean]

male bonding experience?

 

[HungThickProf]

I think what kills me the most is that people would even think to ask such a question. Where the fuck is common sense? And I agree with GayFrog- it does seem as if someone's trying to justify their actions so that they can have their cake and eat it too. And I really can't believe someone actually said that it's not cheating. To the person who said that, I tell you what- you feed that shit to your divorce lawyers. Anyone with a brain would call that shit out. It's normally the guys with that mentality who play the victim when they discover that their spouses have also been leading double lives.

It's funny- there's a guy on this site I speak to from time to time- he's getting a divorce because his wife cheated on him with a bartender. The funny part is that he cheated on her with 4 different men and has been trying to get into my bed before the divorce papers are even signed. I mean, really?!

 

[B_thickjohnny]

It's not cheating in my book. He and his best friend have been having wank sessions way before he met GF. He's not wanking with various sundry unknown guys at the gym. He has one best friend. If anything he's cheating on his best friend by now having a GF.

 

[Hoss]

If you keep it a secret from her and she's not okay with it, it's cheating. End of.

What he said.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

im siding with about 90% of the ppl here .. you're cheating

lets reverse the role, what if your girl was masterbating in the same room as a "mutual friend" who happened to be a guy and he was finguring her, she was jerkin him and of course she kept this a secret to you .. i bet a million dollars you wouldnt let that fly right? how pissed would you be if she went and said for you to relax and its ok because "im straight and you knew this! besides we're just bonding!" (yeah no shit they're bonding)

you're cheating if you're not being honest with your partner, case closed

 

[arthur]

I think the anwer lies in the question again. If you are even thinking your 'cheating'...chances are....you are!!! Think about it?

 

[borntobeking]

Of course it is cheating. The real question is, are you comfortable with that? I have known people that carry on multiple relationships and feel fine doing it. None of us have to live your life and none of us have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. Do what you do.

 

[luvmycock]

if you love her then the best thing to do is to let her know and then let your buddy know as well. this way all the cards are on the table and you can move foreword with everyone on the same page.

 

[jackinjackson]

You really need to think it through before making any sudden moves.
Your buddy has been around through thick and thin, so you know he will hang in there with you. Make sure this is a very special relationship with this girl before disclosing such info on her. She could ruin your world as well as your buddies. If you think she's "the one". Then its best to discuss your feelings for your friend. I'm sure she would Expect the activity to have stopped. Jealousy and insecurity comes into play with many relationships
It is cheating to not tell her. Can you live with yourself being a cheater and playing with them both? Cake and eat it too?

 

[nudeyorker]

I have not read the thread I apologize if this has already been said.... It's cheating if you are doing something that your gf is unaware of and don't want to tell her.

 

[554279]

Not only are you cheating, but you probably need to think really hard about relationships and what constitutes one.

I have male friends that we bond with all the time but we don't hug and cuddle to do it. I have also had male friends that I jerked off with, but we also didn't require the hugging and emotional aspect of it. I think there is a line between males going through the motions for sexual release and taking things to another level.

 

[sexplease]

Somethings are erroneously termed cheating - if you both assume something of the other. In this case, monogamy.
You can only choose monogamy for yourself.

 

[helgaleena]

It's not cheating in my book. He and his best friend have been having wank sessions way before he met GF. He's not wanking with various sundry unknown guys at the gym. He has one best friend. If anything he's cheating on his best friend by now having a GF.

Aha, so there is cheating IF the male friend doesn't know about the GF! Does he know? Does he mind?

That is my feeling as well, that the essence of cheating is concealment. A woman who knows you are bi may still expect monogamy. Make it clear that she isn't going to get it. Then and only then is there absolutely no hint of cheating.

 

[istanbulean]

Maybe the wrong topic but can anybody tell me what kind of a male bonding is "mutual jacking" with a guy?

 

[Finker]

You are dating for a month and it is quite a serious relationship?
Why are you moving so fast?


Yes fooling around with your best friend or any other person for that matter is cheating if you are in a relationship with another person (and they do not know about what you are doing). If you can't be honest about being bi and-or the fact that you still need that male attention now and again...you are cheating whenever you act on those desires.

She needs to know if you feel you can't be fully committed to her alone in the relationship. She is allowed to make that choice. And for you right now its important to assess her openmindedness to bi-sexuality in her own life and relationships.

Why do you even want to get into something 'serious' if you are not ready yet to totally focus your attention on the person you are with? let alone be honest about who you are and what you need?

I always love knowing your insight.
Few people on this board force me to read their posts like you do.

 

[nicenycdick]

Wait! Wait! What I have not yet heard from the OP is that he is in a committed, exclusive relationship with his new girlfriend. Have you both agreed that you would date no one else? That is what will determine if you are cheating or not. It is not just because you are having a sexual relationship of which she is unaware. The question is: is it a relationship which you have promised not to have?

 

[B_BENDERBOY]

As long as you don't get caught it's not cheating.