JUST punchlines

[Pecker]

The last thing I can remember is that monkey trying to get the cork back up that pig's ass.

 

[Pecker]

Yes, officer, I did see that naked couple fucking on the sidewalk but I just thought the bordello's sign had fallen down.

 

[davidjh7]

Well, he had an eight inch belt buckle, and a 4 inch dick!

 

[rawbone8]

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

 

[Pecker]

And that's not my finger.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

"Wood eye, wood eye!"

"Harelip, harelip!"

LOLOLOL I remember that one from umm 1974.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

If you help me find my keys, I'll drive us out of here.

 

[GoneA]

To get to the other side ...

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

He said it was his leg.

 

[Pecker]

I don’t know but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Icing beer down in one and throwing the empties in the other one.

 

[Pecker]

You need a house to go with this doorknob!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

What are you griping about? Your wife is still stuck on the doorknob.

 

[AlteredEgo]

She looked the store manager in the eye, and repeating the offensive gestures said, "head of lettuce, turkey breast, chicken thighs, and a bottle of Fantastic!"


After seeing this, the little boy ran back to his room, lay in the center of his bed, touched himself everywhere, and said, "I need a bike, I need a bike, I need a bike!"


The doctor said, "I see what the problem is: You're two tents."

"Nope. Science."

"Naaaarf. But whatever they looked like, they'd be loved. Poit!"

The check was returned with a letter in response. "Sir, I do not see how anyone could expect a room so nice to go unoccupied for long. As for its size, it is just right; perhaps you did not have enough furniture to fill it. Also, there was plenty of heat if only you'd known how to turn it on. "

 

[Pecker]

DEATH. But first, UGGA BUGGA!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

and so's your mother

 

[Pecker]

OMG! I was riding Nellie!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Kruschev isn't the one being punished.

 

[Pecker]

I'll give it a try but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

The waiter returned with a note written by the gentleman that read:
"Madam, I have two Jaguars in my garage,one billion in the bank, but there is no way I would cut off 2 inches for you."