JUST punchlines

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

"it's impressive all right, " the elephant said, "but how do you breathe out of it from down there?"

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

... and the handwriting is Pat's.

 

[Pecker]

Go ahead and jack off. I have a headache.

 

[fliegles]

"You think your're in bad shape, there's a lady up on the 2nd floor that's stuck on a doorknob."

Thanks Pecker, you always make me feel better!! Were/are you a school teacher?:tongue:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

for a quarter

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Yes, I'll still love you tomorrow. What was your name again?

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

"Bush's clock is in Jesus's offfice; he's using it as a ceiling fan!"

 

[Pecker]

Thanks Pecker, you always make me feel better!! Were/are you a school teacher?:tongue:

I substituted in elementary schools. I have nerves of steel.

Punchline:

"Achhk, you bahhhhhstaaard! That's not me bagpipe!"

 

[fortiesfun]

So the butcher says to the lady, "M'am could you pass a test like that?"

 

[Nitrofiend]

Damn mate, the potato's supposed to go in FRONT!

 

[smally]

"Allright, I'll do the damn dishes!"

 

[fortiesfun]

Worth reviving this thread for the best one I've heard in a long time:

Ted Haggard

 

[D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits]

"Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges."

 

[feely]

"It's the repairman, he's come to fix the fridge"

 

[fortiesfun]

With her pistol aimed firmly at him, Little Red says, "Oh no you're not. Your going to eat me, just like the book says."

 

[D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits]

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck then it must be a duck.

 

[Pecker]

I've got you fooled today, I'm not wearing any!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

"Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"

Man to woman: "Well, what'd you think of my performance?" "Well, I didn't think much of your organ." "Well, I didn't expect to playing in an auditorium!"

The mother fainted after she figured out & read the British Airways ad her third daughter sent her; "Two times a day, four times a week, both ways."

 

[Rubenesque]

Hans who does dishes can be soft as Gevais with a mild green hairy lipped squid!

(think you'll have to be familiar with British TV advertising to get that one though, sorrrrryyyyyyyyy)

 

[sspp]

Because the warlock had a Hollow Weenie.

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He didn't have the guts.

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Thanks, most guys just leave her there.