Hi everybody. .................
my boyfriend has a huge dick. .............
I have recently lost my virginity to him. It was to put it plainly the worst, most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life and it hasn't got any better since then. We have tried unsuccessfully to have sex about five times ................ it gets so painful that i tense up and then it just gets worse. ............ the second he enters me it hurts and i dry up. ..............please help me!
Your gynacologist says your vagina is smallish, but otherwise ok. You say you have been able to get all of your boyfriends penis in, but then it hurts and you tense up. It sounds to me like a condition called vaginismus.
Your first intercourse was very painful. And anxiety about expected pain causes your vagina to involuntarily tighten every time now. By carrying on having painful sex you are compounding the problem, so I would urge you to do something about it as soon as you can. You and your boyfriend can find lots of advice on the subject of vaginismus on the net, or you can ask your doctor to refer you to a sex therapist. Either way you must do something about it. For the time being, I'd suggest that you stop trying to have intercourse as it's obviously triggering vaginismus every time. Instead, concentrate on having a good time. Take the pressure off yourself. Ask your boyfriend to be patient and understanding. Pleasure each other with your hands, mouths, imaginations, etc. and take time to win your vagina's confidence. Sounds strange? Look at it this way: Every time your boyfriend and you start to get it on, your vagina is sure she's going to get hurt. No wonder she gets tense and dry - she's simply trying to protect herself. You must work with your vagina not against her, and that means that you must take charge of how she is touched, how many fingers go in, etc. You need to communicate with your boyfriend all the way through the sex act. Tell him how he's doing, tell him what you'd like. Encourage him to communicate with you. He needs reassurance too. I'm sure you can understand that.
As soon as you want to try his cock inside you (and not out of a sence of duty) I think you should get him to lie on his back and you sit astride him so that you can control how much goes in. He's going to have to be very strong with himself and resist the temptation of grabbing you and thrusting, as that will probably cause your vagina to panic and tighten. Like I say, you gotta stay in control. If you can manage a bit of painless penetration - even if you only put it in a little way, and only for a few seconds - without pain, you will have achieved something important: You will have started to re-program your vagina's response. You can finish the sex session orally or manually, and congratulate yourselves. Obviously, it will take a good few tries, and you might have a few failures (moments when your vagina goes into it's scared and tighening routine) but I'm sure you can win your vagina's confidence with kindness and understanding.
Best of luck. Keep us posted.