Man Law

[D_Bodacious Appetite]

Well This is actually in response to another thread. Females aklways have rules or advice they give other females so why shouldn't the guys have the same. So this is my own personal code of Man laws that I've picked up. Feel free to critique it and also add your own laws.

I will not let girls I Just met

A. Go through my phone
B. Go through my wallet
C. Go through my computer
D. Snoop around my room
E. Snoop through my car
F. Meet my ex's

Before asking a girl for her number I will

A. Make sure I know her name
B. Get a good look at her from the FRONT
C. Scout around for her bf

When driving with a female in my car I will

A. Make sure the inside doesn't smell like weed
B. Make sure the inside doesn't smell like throw up
C. Not leave my rubbers out in the open


1. When going somewhere with just the fellas do NOT invite a girl you just met chances are she will leave with one of them.

2. If a girl says "I bet you don't even remember my name do you?" the proper response is "I bet you don't remember mine either." 95% this will work and help avoid looking stupid.

3. If the girl is sitting with her friends do not approach unless you know one of the friends.

4. If she has her headphones in she doesn't want to be bothered.

5. A kiss does NOT always mean she's into you.

6. Call her DO NOT TEXT! It's too impersonal.

8. Don't use pickup lines your'e a grown up now.

9. Shut Up and let her talk.

10. I'm on the pill, I just got tested, I haven't done it in awhile, Thou shalt strap it up


Well I'm kind of tapped out for now what do you think anyone have anything else to add. Shoot

 

[bigman420]

This is so much amazingly simple and true advice, but let's hear it fellas. Why is this bad? Because you know the cynic fucks on this site are gonna twist this into all sorts of bullshit.

 

[D_Bodacious Appetite]

yea tru nuff kinda funny support group when they do nothing but criticize each other :/

 

[B_howbigeh]

I completely agree with everything.. except the weed part. youd be surprised on how many girls either smoke, or dont mind smoking weed... now cigarettes on the other hand...

also, a man should NEVER have to ask for permission to do anything. holy fuck that pisses me off. now this isnt for everyone, but a good 80% IMO; we work all day, we own and paid for mostly everything in the house, the car(s), everything. now the wife shouldnt be the one deciding what we get to do on our day off, or what you can and cant watch on TV, its bullshit how weak minded and pussy whipped mankind has become. we didnt fight and scrape our way to the top just to ask "honey, can I pleaseeeeee go have a few drinks with my frinends tonight and watch the hockey game". after working a hard day, we should be able to do whatever the fuck we want.

its guys thinking with the wrong head is what the problem is. theyre more concerned about getting their dick wet than being an actual man!

if women want equal rights, they can have equal lefts too!! *raises fist* lol

/rant

 

[wblum]

I completely agree with everything.. except the weed part. youd be surprised on how many girls either smoke, or dont mind smoking weed... now cigarettes on the other hand...

also, a man should NEVER have to ask for permission to do anything. holy fuck that pisses me off. now this isnt for everyone, but a good 80% IMO; we work all day, we own and paid for mostly everything in the house, the car(s), everything. now the wife shouldnt be the one deciding what we get to do on our day off, or what you can and cant watch on TV, its bullshit how weak minded and pussy whipped mankind has become. we didnt fight and scrape our way to the top just to ask "honey, can I pleaseeeeee go have a few drinks with my frinends tonight and watch the hockey game". after working a hard day, we should be able to do whatever the fuck we want.

its guys thinking with the wrong head is what the problem is. theyre more concerned about getting their dick wet than being an actual man!

if women want equal rights, they can have equal lefts too!! *raises fist* lol

/rant

Although I understand how "backwards" this sounds I must say I agree to a certain degree...

I currently have a live-in girlfriend who produces nothing other than breakfast and a blow job (and sex). While I respect her to the umpteenth degree I cannot picture a situation, barring medical necessity, wherein she would deny a request for sex...

BTW, no America Idol in my house, unless she wants to sleep in another room and I switch between ESPN, History Channel, TMI, History International, and Discovery...

Going to Hell?

 

[D_Ellerby Eatsprick]

BTW, no America Idol in my house, unless she wants to sleep in another room and I switch between ESPN, History Channel, TMI, History International, and Discovery...

Going to Hell?

You would not be going to hell for this one ! I'd send you to heaven !

I always tune into those channels. HATE reality shows. If I was to watch tv, I rather spend my time learning about cool neat things than rot my brains out listening to mediocre singers.

 

[ScorpioSlut]

To Grif:
Thank you for the man law about texting. That shit really is impersonal and if any of you think you're impressing a woman by texting 789378937 times give it up cuz you're not....just pick up the phone and call.


To Howbigeh:

I don't deny a man's right to go out and have fun with his friends or say he should have a woman make ALL of his decisions for him. However no matter who pays for what if you choose t be in a relationship with someone it should be a compromise. You should do things together that both of you want to do. I happen to own my own house, own my own car and pay for all of my own bills and even when I had a guy who was contributing very little I didn't expect him to bend to my will and only do what I wanted to do. Just because you pay for something doesn't give you the right to lord it over others. If you want to act like what you've just said then I suggest you go out and buy a blow up doll and hire a maid.

 

[bigjpgh]

I didn't realize men had a choice about number 9

 

[MickeyLee]

I currently have a live-in prostitute who produces nothing other than breakfast and a blow job (and sex). While I respect her to the umpteenth degree I cannot picture a situation, barring medical necessity, wherein she would deny a request for sex...

Going to Hell?

*blink* fix'd it for ya... shaky fucking view point, sunshine.

if you had respect for your girlfriend you would see living together as more than care and up keep on in house pussy.

 

[B_howbigeh]

*blink* fix'd it for ya... shaky fucking view point, sunshine.

if you had respect for your girlfriend you would see living together as more than care and up keep on in house pussy.

uhh, no. prostitutes get paid, and sleep with more than 1 guy. pretty sure his GF doesnt qualify for either of those categories.

 

[MickeyLee]

uhh, no. prostitutes get paid, and sleep with more than 1 guy. pretty sure his GF doesnt qualify for either of those categories.

ummm, no. a prostitute solicits and accepts payment in return for sexual services. number of clients or the exchange system isn't set in stone.

wblum seems to think that covering housing, food, clothing, and the etc of keeping a girlfriend happy entitles him to sex on demand.

at least her contract includes sick days :smile:

he didn't make it clear if she has to provide a doctor's note.

 

[B_Hey22]

I agree

 

[B_howbigeh]

ummm, no. a prostitute solicits and accepts payment in return for sexual services. number of clients or the exchange system isn't set in stone.

wblum seems to think that covering housing, food, clothing, and the etc of keeping a girlfriend happy entitles him to sex on demand.

at least her contract includes sick days :smile:

he didn't make it clear if she has to provide a doctor's note.

just curious, are you straight or gay?

in other words, have you ever been with a girl or had a girlfriend?

I agree with wblum in a way. I know plenty of people like him, they have a girl living with them, aka their girlfriend (duh). she doesnt do anything except cook and bitch about what hes not allowed to do and fucks him whenever they want.

im just a little confused with the term "live-in girlfriend"

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

thank you, grif! at least one man has respect for himself and for women!

 

[ibostyle11]

no complaints on the list.
LOL HARD @ american idol. I detest that damn show. It's just glorified kareoke to me

 

[invisibleman]

yea tru nuff kinda funny support group when they do nothing but criticize each other :/

UNIVERSAL LPSG Law Number ONE: Expect criticism on LPSG...:biggrin1:

 

[MickeyLee]

just curious, are you straight or gay?

in other words, have you ever been with a girl or had a girlfriend?

I agree with wblum in a way. I know plenty of people like him, they have a girl living with them, aka their girlfriend (duh). she doesnt do anything except cook and bitch about what hes not allowed to do and fucks him whenever they want.

im just a little confused with the term "live-in girlfriend"

i am queer.

i've had lots of girlfriends. and a couple long term serious relationship with women. that whole live together. i got yelled at for putting shit out of her reach. for something one of my dumb ass friends did. eating the last of something.. and so on. yes, i understand the trials and tribulations of cohabiting with the girlie types.

i am very sorry your friends choose to be involved with demanding and selfish partners. maybe they should think about the type of women they attract and what they want from a relationship.

the prostitute correction wasn't any slight against wblum live-in-girlfriend. was pointing out that his attitude was more appropriate for a hooker than a girlfriend.


randomly.. i fripping LOVE Grif's Man Laws.

 

[6T8NIOU1]

Aight I give it 2 u Grif man law list is soooo true I just dnt agree with the weed smell in the car cause if she dnt like it she can get the fuck out ... And trust if she dnt like the smell of kush in the whip . I dnt kno what the fuck 2 tell her when she get in the crib

Man law
3 call rule ....2call and a text...won't blow up ur phone if I just got ur # or we already fuckin I will not hit u back until u call me
Its 2010 if she aint suckin dick that will b the first and last time I fuck with her ..
Money over bitches .. Cause bitches will try and take yo money every chance they get !!

 

[D_Bodacious Appetite]

Man Law

11. Lol Don't Call A woman a bitch unless she earns it first.

12. If you want her to give you head you gotta go diving for oysters one good turn for another.

13. Don't wait for her to come talk to you. (I hate seeing guys do that)

14. Choose wisely. Don't try to get the girl's friend if things didn't go right with her.

15. DON'T use her rubbers EVER!

16. B4 u cum on her make sure she's cool with it.

17. NEVER LEAVE THE USED CONDOM AT HER PLACE! This one got me in a lot of trouble one time.

18. After talking to her on the phone for about a week or two just stop calling her altogether. If she calls you then you can resume calling her if not keep on steppin she's wasting your time.

19. If she always calls from a house phone and you're both above 20 yrs old then keep on steppin. This means A. she has somebody checking her phone prolly bf or hubby or B. She is tryin to hide something.

20. If you get caught staring downtown just stop and bring your eyes back up and down. This way she thinks you were checkin all of her out instead of just the goods and will get you bonus points.

21. There's a 3 limit cap to how many times you can tell her how pretty she is. If you keep saying it your gonna irritate the fuck outta her

22. Instead of just saying pretty and beautiful all the damn time try to change it up say something ppl don't usually say. IE Gorgeous, Stunning

23. Do something different. More than females like good dressers and big muscles and good looks they like somthing outside the norm. If your different then tht makes you more attractive than the usual male.

24. When your'e taking her back home don't do that bullshit of waiting for her to lean in for the kiss. Gently tilt her chin up and kiss her. AND suck her bottom lip this will GET YOU IN HER BED. Unless she is uncomfortable or she doesn't like you this type of kiss will almost always get an invitation to come inside.

25. Don't stare at her all the time it's creepy. You make think your givin her the eye but you're rlly givin her the creeps.

 

[ScorpioSlut]

HAHAHAHAHA Keep the good work up Grif. Some of them are funny but it doesn't mean they're not true.