Honestly the only complaint I have about #metoo is the demographic that is monopolizing the narrative, when the hashtags creator made it abundantly clear it was for all to make their voices heard. Whats really sad about that is men, by in large, are so invested in getting angry about their heroes and mentors being brought down, or the spectre of a false accusation, instead of speaking their own truths to show that sexual harassment and coercion knows only power, no gender. Men seem content to let the narrative be men aggressor-woman victim as long as careers aren't destroyed after the fact. I know especially amongst my fellow black men(I cant speak to statutory rape statistics for other ethnicities), embrace of #metoo would go a long way in reconciling why so many underage black boys have their 1st sexual experience with an older black female friend or relative, and might cap some of the the misogynoir that comes from the boys upon adulthood.
#me Too?
- Thread starter AtYourCervix10
- Start date
Now let's see who is genuinely curious or introspective enough to peruse the AAW section and get some insight into the dark shit that just about every adult or teenaged woman has faced from a plethora of 'good' law abiding men. And then let's see who then chooses to still focus soley upon the auxilary concerns of the mating and dating disadvantages of men when the OPs chosen context has to do with maintaining anybody's right to make romantic and sexual decisions while not under some sort of duress...
Good for you. I’m glad you accept accountability for your actions. But in doing so, you speak for yourself, and your own actions. I, too, have a clear conscience since I have never placed any woman in they type of situation you discuss.
You would be correct. Your accepting accountability for your actions is admirable, but do not try to hedge by implying those are established norms of men in general. I have never put a girl, or woman, in any situation that would warrant accusations of my being inappropriate. Your broad based comments and generalizations are offensive to every man who respects women.
Wrong. If our “heroes and mentors” have committed an egregious act, they should be held accountable. I think men’s fear, and I will speak for myself, is the damage to reputation, careers, and personal life by over zealous waves brought on by feminist movements for acts that were consensual, or in many cases, never happened. We have seen it play out on the national stage, and in local stories.
This is an open post to my new friend, who cannot post here since this thread is in the Ask a Straight Man forum....
Please do not misinterpret my pushback here on the OP. I get there are jerks out there. A lot, unfortunately. Hell, I myself, get uncomfortable around certain men, in a non-sexual way. There are weirdos out there. The posts and stories in the AAW forum “Can you count how many times . . .” are disgusting. That said, some of the examples highlighted are incomprehensible, including the following (paraphrasing):
- my drinks were spiked
- he commented on what a nice ass I have
- trying to ask questions about someone’s sex life
- he was looking at porn in his office during work hours
- I was groped in a diner while working during the graveyard shift
These are awful, terrible acts. I would also venture to say the men doing these acts are not representative of men in general. These are sleazy, slimey, inappropriate predators. Scumbags going to lengths, making comments, and doing things any logical, decent, male with half a brain would not do to a woman. The problem is that when these stories come out, they become the examples, the poster-child’s if you will, of how “men” in the broad sense, are and act towards women. I may get some challenges by some to what I’m about to say, but men are on attack today. I can’t tell a female co-worker her perfume smells nice and ask the brand so I can purchase it for my wife for fear of coming across as being sexually aggressive. I can’t tell a female coworker her new haircut looks nice. Where has common sense and decency gone today? Decent, intelligent people know boundaries, and can differentiate from what is and what is not appropriate. My company has corporate wide sexual harassment and diversity training classes! It’s all common sense for most, but still needs to be reinforced. And a lot of this is to avoid potential lawsuits against the corporation. This is the world we now live in!
I will relate this back to grammar school, when someone in the class acted out, and the entire class was punished for that one person’s infraction. Where the f- is that fair? Everyone is guilty? Everyone pays the price for (in that example) one person’s bad behavior. Penalize that person, and not everyone else.
Please do not misinterpret my pushback here on the OP. I get there are jerks out there. A lot, unfortunately. Hell, I myself, get uncomfortable around certain men, in a non-sexual way. There are weirdos out there. The posts and stories in the AAW forum “Can you count how many times . . .” are disgusting. That said, some of the examples highlighted are incomprehensible, including the following (paraphrasing):
- my drinks were spiked
- he commented on what a nice ass I have
- trying to ask questions about someone’s sex life
- he was looking at porn in his office during work hours
- I was groped in a diner while working during the graveyard shift
These are awful, terrible acts. I would also venture to say the men doing these acts are not representative of men in general. These are sleazy, slimey, inappropriate predators. Scumbags going to lengths, making comments, and doing things any logical, decent, male with half a brain would not do to a woman. The problem is that when these stories come out, they become the examples, the poster-child’s if you will, of how “men” in the broad sense, are and act towards women. I may get some challenges by some to what I’m about to say, but men are on attack today. I can’t tell a female co-worker her perfume smells nice and ask the brand so I can purchase it for my wife for fear of coming across as being sexually aggressive. I can’t tell a female coworker her new haircut looks nice. Where has common sense and decency gone today? Decent, intelligent people know boundaries, and can differentiate from what is and what is not appropriate. My company has corporate wide sexual harassment and diversity training classes! It’s all common sense for most, but still needs to be reinforced. And a lot of this is to avoid potential lawsuits against the corporation. This is the world we now live in!
I will relate this back to grammar school, when someone in the class acted out, and the entire class was punished for that one person’s infraction. Where the f- is that fair? Everyone is guilty? Everyone pays the price for (in that example) one person’s bad behavior. Penalize that person, and not everyone else.
I need you to name one person on the national stage whose reputation, career, or personal life was destroyed by overzealous feminist movement. Just one..not mitigated, paused, attenuated, but destroyed...
Aziz Ansari came close. Very close. And he’s still recovering.
Do you know how many ants you have inadvertently crushed? I'm serious, even with no intention or predilection for genocide, how many bugs, just by virtue of your size have you completely or nearly crushed? Assuming cross species communication were possible how exactly would you explain to an ant whose short life is full of observing humans nearly or completely crushing his bretheren, that you and others like you pose no threat to him?
I share in your frustration with how it precautions women in our presence, but blame that on the offenders not the offended.
I call BS..most mainstream feminist voices agreed his case was not one of assault but rather a bad date..hence no charges, just a temporary vacation followed by a big money Netflix special...you can't be too butthurt his rise to fame was tempered by the revelation that his 'woke feminist ally" schtick didnt carry over into his dating life...try again.
Seems to me if you're a man in entertainment #metoo is just a reality check and his career will land appropriately based upon his actions..creeps lose popularity(Louis CK, Aziz Ansari), offenders lose jobs and face charges(Weinstein, R. Kelly, Bill Cosby), and good men just keep it moving like nothing ever happened(Morgan Freeman, Neil DeGrasse Tyson hopefully??)
Im really curious now, who are these men on the national stage whose lives have been so unfairly brought down by obviously trumped up allegations?
Im really curious now, who are these men on the national stage whose lives have been so unfairly brought down by obviously trumped up allegations?
I tried confirming your comment that “most mainstream feminist voices” agreed his case was not one of assault, but rather a bad date. Can you provide some of that? I don’t doubt you, I would just like to read who said what.
You jump to “hence no charges, just a temporary vacation (pretty ballsy of you dude, I’m sure Aziz didn’t feel he was on vacation) implying all was forgotten, and no harm. But with movements like this, and in today’s society where knee jerk accusations are accepted as truth, that cloud is difficult to erase completely. And they know that. Mission accomplished.
Still cries for him to apologize (July 12, 2019 article)
Aziz Ansari should try taking responsibility for actions that left a woman feeling violated
Time for Me Too to apologize
It's Time For The #MeToo Movement To Apologize
Continued doubts by media
Aziz Ansari has addressed his sexual misconduct allegation. But he hasn’t publicly apologized.
Some damage still done - some fans remain spilt
Aziz Ansari talks about sexual misconduct in his new Netflix special and people have feelings - CNN
You jump to “hence no charges, just a temporary vacation (pretty ballsy of you dude, I’m sure Aziz didn’t feel he was on vacation) implying all was forgotten, and no harm. But with movements like this, and in today’s society where knee jerk accusations are accepted as truth, that cloud is difficult to erase completely. And they know that. Mission accomplished.
Still cries for him to apologize (July 12, 2019 article)
Aziz Ansari should try taking responsibility for actions that left a woman feeling violated
Time for Me Too to apologize
It's Time For The #MeToo Movement To Apologize
Continued doubts by media
Aziz Ansari has addressed his sexual misconduct allegation. But he hasn’t publicly apologized.
Some damage still done - some fans remain spilt
Aziz Ansari talks about sexual misconduct in his new Netflix special and people have feelings - CNN
Now I call BS. You asked for one, and you were provided. You didn’t accept it. You seem to think no damage was done. Now you wish to change the approach. Believe that’s called backpedaling.
I mean he should apologize and had his date been your daughter, I think you'd be more than inclined to agree.
He chose to craft his public persona as this non predatory, non pushy gentlemen whose primary concern was his female companions' comfort and safety..so now he is paying the dividends for his real life not matching the persona..now had he made his fame on some sort of Andrew Dice Clay type trope, it would've been a non issue.
Look up Karlous Miller, Chico Bean, and DC Young Fly and listen to their comedy and admission of sexual proclivities..guaranteed they've pulled the same kind of date schtick on their groupies..but being honest gets you a lot farther than being deceptive.
And had I had a daughter, I would hope that she would be well prepared by my wife and myself to handle these situations. When to get up and leave before it goes further. Notice the signs. Tell someone when they are being inappropriate.
As it happens, I have sons, and both my wife and I fear for their future. And FWIW, they were brought up to respect women, and we have had deep conversations about today’s society and this very topic. We have hopefully prepared them for what to expect.
Notice how none of what you said had anything to do with if you wanted Aziz to apologize to your daughter for the experience..not lusting for blood or jail time, but an apology for using his fame and influence to facilitate his slutting her out a bit..
Or are you one of those, 'I warned you thems the breaks' type of dads
Dude, you won’t quit! Don’t be an ass. Stop with the bleeding heart. Of course I would feel terrible for my daughter if she was the one in this situation. I already told you that I would hope my daughter would be prepared how to handle these situations. When no means no. How to size someone up. When someone is inappropriate. When it’s time to leave. . . .
But I don’t get why you insist Aziz apologize? For something that was not entirely his fault. For what you already mentioned was a “bad date.” You automatically assumed he used HIS fame to get her there. . . . what’s to say SHE didn’t want to be with him sexually? You and I were not in the room.
BTW, I’m still waiting on the links where “most mainstream feminists agreed it is was a bad date.” I truly do want to read those and give proper kudos.
Netflix acts as a social litmus test most times, and the fact Aziz can still do business with them means no real fear of backlash from the mainstream feminists who will most definitely make their presence felt if so inclined.
But why is it soo important to die upon this hill of Ansari's supposed non pushiness? His description of the night was nearly identical to hers, and nothing about that account screamed out to you as problematic at all? Since you won't demand an apology for your hypothetical daughter, if some girl came to you and told you about your son pulling the same shit Aziz did on her are you telling me you're just gonna give him a high five for the win? Nah son, youve perched upon this strawman, a burning one at that, that seems to stem from this overwhelming male urge to preserve opportunity in lieu of restraint, and you don't even get, nor seem to want to get just how predatory it comes off as.
We dont need to be in the room, because this is one of the few cases where both stories match, and she may very well have wanted to have sex with the persona Aziz puts forth, not expecting it to change behind closed doors.
And that is really the crux behind Aziz's supposed "downfall"...he garnered attention and praise from women based upon his "wokeness" and now that that façade has fallen he no longer garners the same amount of attention and praise, and people are well within their right to be discriminatory with their attention and praise.
My opinion is if you're a male and you color between the lines of civilized behavior #metoo shouldn't impact shit. Including your dating and love life.
There are some blatantly stupid motherfuckers that deserve to be brought to task in the public eye. When false accusations are made that individual (male or female) needs to be equally chastised in the same manner if proven so for making false allegations.
Frankly celebrities and some of these pompous power fucks that have cashed in big are reaping what they sow. They think they can do what they want because of cash flow, are above the law and now they should get their just rewards behind bars.
Most guys learn through life by their mistakes, these fuck whits usually don't. Normal male behavior is when you have have negative feedback from a female for your words or actions you adjust and correct; these assholes take it to the next level until they achieve their goal or get caught. If they find a successful formula they go back to it, again and again until caught.
Both sexes own a certain amount of luggage for the problem. I am not talking about people who remained silent, I am talking about those that exploited the environment to their benefit and yes they exist.
I would bet that for every dozen or more victims or accusations there are at least one or two "fast trackers" that used the "quid pro quot system". There are probably an equal number of males as well that have pulled the same shit. I would love to see the feminist community call these dames out as well.
I think that people in today's society should not be revisiting what someone said 30 years ago and pissing or moaning about it, and trying to judge dumb ass behavior from the 80's off of today's moral compass such as snide remarks or NON-PHYSICAL behavior.
On the other hand rape, sexual assault, "pussy grabbing" fall outside boorish behavior and are fucking criminal. Statute of limitation laws on rape or sexual assault are total bullshit. If I had any type of power I would throw that shit out, there should be zero statute of limitations on rape or sexual assault. The fucking crime marks people for life. Again just my opinion the only thing that should be considered should be the age of the assailant and I would lower the bar on that as well, because IMHO males become more sexually active at a much younger age than what Doctor Phil and company claim. Just because some little prick was below the age of consent he shouldn't get a free pass.
Someone said you had a nice ass twenty years ago and they have now moved into a position of the public eye, leave it alone. The fucker tried to rape you at a beer blast or a keg party that shit needs to come out on Dr. Jekyll. To me it should be common sense.
Mooning someone or shaking your cock at someone 25 years ago on a passing bus is not nice, but rape is fucking rape and your ass needs to do time behind bars.
There are some blatantly stupid motherfuckers that deserve to be brought to task in the public eye. When false accusations are made that individual (male or female) needs to be equally chastised in the same manner if proven so for making false allegations.
Frankly celebrities and some of these pompous power fucks that have cashed in big are reaping what they sow. They think they can do what they want because of cash flow, are above the law and now they should get their just rewards behind bars.
Most guys learn through life by their mistakes, these fuck whits usually don't. Normal male behavior is when you have have negative feedback from a female for your words or actions you adjust and correct; these assholes take it to the next level until they achieve their goal or get caught. If they find a successful formula they go back to it, again and again until caught.
Both sexes own a certain amount of luggage for the problem. I am not talking about people who remained silent, I am talking about those that exploited the environment to their benefit and yes they exist.
I would bet that for every dozen or more victims or accusations there are at least one or two "fast trackers" that used the "quid pro quot system". There are probably an equal number of males as well that have pulled the same shit. I would love to see the feminist community call these dames out as well.
I think that people in today's society should not be revisiting what someone said 30 years ago and pissing or moaning about it, and trying to judge dumb ass behavior from the 80's off of today's moral compass such as snide remarks or NON-PHYSICAL behavior.
On the other hand rape, sexual assault, "pussy grabbing" fall outside boorish behavior and are fucking criminal. Statute of limitation laws on rape or sexual assault are total bullshit. If I had any type of power I would throw that shit out, there should be zero statute of limitations on rape or sexual assault. The fucking crime marks people for life. Again just my opinion the only thing that should be considered should be the age of the assailant and I would lower the bar on that as well, because IMHO males become more sexually active at a much younger age than what Doctor Phil and company claim. Just because some little prick was below the age of consent he shouldn't get a free pass.
Someone said you had a nice ass twenty years ago and they have now moved into a position of the public eye, leave it alone. The fucker tried to rape you at a beer blast or a keg party that shit needs to come out on Dr. Jekyll. To me it should be common sense.
Mooning someone or shaking your cock at someone 25 years ago on a passing bus is not nice, but rape is fucking rape and your ass needs to do time behind bars.
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@Tight_N_Juicy I really wish you had of put that in another section where I could answer (I did with out looking) and the reply I gave was deleted (obviously).
Also given that place you posted it in cast me in with your original thread, which I was not replying to.
Can You Count How Many Times...
The quid pro quot is bad for everyone, to include detracting from the base problem and fucking over women and men alike.
Also given that place you posted it in cast me in with your original thread, which I was not replying to.
Can You Count How Many Times...
The quid pro quot is bad for everyone, to include detracting from the base problem and fucking over women and men alike.
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