Men being pursued

[imminda]

Do men WANT to be pursued? There's a guy I really am interested in, and he's expressed interest, but it's not gone any further. I'm a little old school and think men should do the pursuing, but I REALLY want this guy. So, should I chase him? Does he want to be chased? How much is too much?

 

[blutrane]

I'm biased here, but my immediate reaction is YES, as a man, I like being pursued. I've only ever really been pursued, leaving me at a bit of a loss when it comes to doing the pursuing myself. That said, there's nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it. That makes her all the more attractive to me. I can't speak for every guy. I think it's safe to say that desperation is unattractive, no matter what the gender. Assertiveness is attractive.

 

[deleted529769]

definitely like to be pursued, but as blutrane said desperation is not attractive and neither is stalker activity....and assertiveness is very hot.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

Desperate girls don't pursue, they stalk. That turns me off. A girl who comes up to me, tell me what she wants - well that will be all there is to it. End. Period. Matter of fact, recently, all the girls I've talked to pursued me, so I think I have some decent exposure to this role-reversal.

 

[D_Leotols Toy]

Yes, yes, and yes. Most girls have ended up pursuing me, or at least showing enough interest and being upfront that allows me to make the move much easier.

 

[Titsdude21]

As far as i understand it....guys are perfectly happy with a girl doing the chasing.

Personally i hate games, i will express interest and if she tries to make me chase that is game over.

I also have three strikes rule. I.E ill make contact 3 times, and if she hasn't made contact at least once by then.... Game over

But my point is....i dont like fucking around, if you like me hint it, just say it, ask if i wanna get some coffee or if i have seen a new movie that is out. Do this and 95%of guys will be perfectly happy.

P.S don't be too over the top with him....don't wanna make him feel like your clingy no one likes clingy.

 

[goodwood]

I love being pursued. i have been pursued my whole life by women so i became spoiled by that pattern of behavior. when women saw me and wanted me and they were attractive enough to me it was all systems go. however - there have been many women that pursued me that i wish would not have. they were not attractive (to me) or if they were physically attractive, their personalities were not attractive.

so for your situation, i think most men like to be pursued but not to the point of crazy. pursue him subtly enough so that he gets the idea and see if that seems like a good idea to him and if so then absolutely go for it.

good luck and i hope it works out well for you.

 

[imminda]

Great answers, thanks. So what changes the line from pursuing to stalking? Lack of reaction from him? We work int he same building, but I see him about only once a week, if that, and that is usually at a distance. Next step appears to be asking out for lunch.

 

[Jathe]

I would LOVE for a girl to come after me, or just give us that look, the one that says I really like you, I'm thinking about something fun kind of smile in your eyes/ I really like being around you.

 

[steve2727]

I think most (straight) romantic relationships are initiated by women, it's just that some women prefer approach it in such a way as to let the guy *think* they made all the running, where as some don't bother and just go for it.

Either approach works if delivered with charm and confidence, but if he's like me (i.e. unusually obtuse even for a guy) then the more direct approach might be the way to go! As has been said, just know when to leave it alone if he isn't interested, otherwise you do risk straying into scary stalker territory

Good luck anyway!

 

[helgaleena]

I was just watching a documentary about up-and-coming rock bands in LA in the 80s. The women were definitely shopping for the men and going after a pretty man. It's how those guys kept fed and housed.

Something tells me this still happens. Just because men have always been after me not the other way round does not mean Helgaleena should have chosen one of them. I was not very discriminating I think, and regretted it sometimes.

 

[B_quietguy]

A lot of guys like it when a woman asks him out, initiates contact, and expresses desire for him. It's a nice ego boost!

 

[D_Rufus Rodzilla]

Yes, let him know you are interested. My wife pursued me and if she hadn't, I wouldn't have known she was interested. If you don't express interest, he'll never know how you feel.

If he doesn't respond, then you can let him go and find someone else. (Do not stalk him if he doesn't respond to you.)

 

[redbear52]

Some guys can be put off by a woman who seems aggressive or very assertive. Men can also be pretty clueless when it comes to picking up on signals from a girl who is flirting with him.

He may like you, but not sure whether your interest is is just pure friendliness. He might not be making an approach simply because he doesn't want to risk rejection.

If possible, I would suggest simply asking him to join you for coffee during the day. That scenario is completely non-threatening and requires no commitment, but it might allow you to better judge his interest and to see if the two of you hit it off.

 

[missphatbooty]

the man must give chase if you see something you like, come and get it. the most pursueing i will do is make some eye contact to provide him with an open, if that isnt enough for him, he isnt the man for me. it all comes down to finding what complements you.

 

[deleted509196]

I started talking to my guy first, and then we got to know each other and started dating, so yes I made the first move and am glad, so I think if a woman wants a guy she should go for it. Although I wasn't thinking specifically if I wanted to date him or not at that very time, at least not conciously, but once I got to know him I knew I wanted him, and probably had done subconciously anyway, and that's why I started talking to him.

 

[QwentyJ1987]

the man must give chase if you see something you like, come and get it. the most pursueing i will do is make some eye contact to provide him with an open, if that isnt enough for him, he isnt the man for me. it all comes down to finding what complements you.

But you could miss out on a great guy who mistook your eye contact as a glance?

I'll be honest, we men just prefer things simple - a girl coming over to us - is grwat, For those of us who are shy....even better!

 

[Mal_the_Wolf]

But you could miss out on a great guy who mistook your eye contact as a glance?

I'll be honest, we men just prefer things simple - a girl coming over to us - is grwat, For those of us who are shy....even better!

I like it...... it makes things alot easier, but I have the problem of seeming sorta unapproachable

 

[denton85]

every guy i know who's been chased and pursued (including me) has liked it, and given in ....

 

[helgaleena]

Dang, I wish I were not so timid then!