Menopause/libido

theaveragedude

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Hello, Are any of you ladies here on this site approaching/are in/or have passed menopause? Or do you know someone who is?

If so, I’d like to know:
how long did it last? Did it affect your libido negatively or positively?
What were the physical manifestations?
I ask because my wife has started this phase of her life and she’s finding that her drive is waning a bit(sex - she can take it or leave it)
plus she says that it hurts a little bit even with extra lube. My issue is that, at 50, my sex drive has tripled for some reason, so I’ve been dealing with that on my own (so to speak).

Any insight would be helpful..
Thanks
 

LaFemme

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I’m done with menopause. Yippee!

I don’t know that I’m typical, though, but I’ll share my experiences. I went into peri-menopause early - about 38. Night sweats, hot flashes, etc. All periods stopped at about 46.

I’ve always been extremely high libido. That really didn’t change too much. By 50, it might have taken a bit more to get the engine running, but the desire never waned. Still hasn’t. Lube might be necessary, the vaginal walls really do thin, but again desire has never stopped.

Feeling sexy? Well, when you’re drenched in sweat, it can be tough to feels sexy. Or if you know you’re going to be drenched in sweat two or three times a night. When you’re sleeping with someone and he feels like a furnace, you don’t feel like cuddling up - sex takes planning. I couldn’t stand to be overheated. If I could have had sex in the snow, I would have done so. You think I’m kidding, but I am not. I would go in the backyard in my nightgown in -25C weather and bask.

You might just feel too damn hot to her. At times I just wanted him to take me from behind so there’d be minimal touching. He was too physically hot. I wanted sex, but I didn’t want him to touch me! :joy:

Menopause is funny business. I learned to laugh about it. I only had a casual partner at the time, but I just communicated with him. I told him I couldn’t sleep in the same bed with him anymore unless he wanted to drown or die. I told him when I couldn’t stand the heat of his body, but still wanted sex. He was fine with it all.

Anyway, ymmv.
 

Enid

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Approaching menopause, I think?? Late 40s here, I still have periods but it's now every other month. I have hot flashes

I don't know if it's affecting my libido. I guess now instead of masturbating every day it's like every other day. Occasionally, I'm not in mood for 2 or 3 days. Otherwise, I still have urges.
 

theaveragedude

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I’m done with menopause. Yippee!

I don’t know that I’m typical, though, but I’ll share my experiences. I went into peri-menopause early - about 38. Night sweats, hot flashes, etc. All periods stopped at about 46.

I’ve always been extremely high libido. That really didn’t change too much. By 50, it might have taken a bit more to get the engine running, but the desire never waned. Still hasn’t. Lube might be necessary, the vaginal walls really do thin, but again desire has never stopped.

Feeling sexy? Well, when you’re drenched in sweat, it can be tough to feels sexy. Or if you know you’re going to be drenched in sweat two or three times a night. When you’re sleeping with someone and he feels like a furnace, you don’t feel like cuddling up - sex takes planning. I couldn’t stand to be overheated. If I could have had sex in the snow, I would have done so. You think I’m kidding, but I am not. I would go in the backyard in my nightgown in -25C weather and bask.

You might just feel too damn hot to her. At times I just wanted him to take me from behind so there’d be minimal touching. He was too physically hot. I wanted sex, but I didn’t want him to touch me! :joy:

Menopause is funny business. I learned to laugh about it. I only had a casual partner at the time, but I just communicated with him. I told him I couldn’t sleep in the same bed with him anymore unless he wanted to drown or die. I told him when I couldn’t stand the heat of his body, but still wanted sex. He was fine with it all.

Anyway, ymmv.

Thanks for the reply and your insight.

My wife hasn’t had a period in just over a year and the hot flashes!.....well you know already. Same thing.. she’ll be fine then, flop sweat! :laughing:Or We’ll cuddle in bed, all is well then it’s,”ok stop touching me ...you’re too hot” :joy:
We use lube and since I’m ‘theaveragedude’ I’m a little surprised when she said penetrating actually hurts a little a first. I think thats why she has trepidation when I give her the old ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ look. Plus trying to schedule sex with two teens in the house is tricky.
 
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Peri-menopausal here.

I've had a ambivalent relationship with my uterus for most of my adult life.
It asserted it's self for 5 days every month which was met with first joy and then vague distaste.
It's quite the different relationship I have with my vagina but I digress.
Now after so many years of uneasy truce the cunt ( my uterus) is trying to kill me every month.
The cramping has me bent over and screaming.
Hot flushes like I've got high fever.

I refuse to take HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) because of it's links to
breast cancer.

I manage symptoms by cutting down on dairy, using specific herbal
tinctures and cold showers and physical isolation while waiting for the tinctures
to work helps for me.
These keep me sane and out of a holding cell and other people out of the ED.

I'd be taking her to a naturopath or a Chinese herbal practitioner before I'd
take the conventional route.
 

Enid

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Peri-menopausal here.

I've had a ambivalent relationship with my uterus for most of my adult life.
It asserted it's self for 5 days every month which was met with first joy and then vague distaste.
It's quite the different relationship I have with my vagina but I digress.
Now after so many years of uneasy truce the cunt ( my uterus) is trying to kill me every month.
The cramping has me bent over and screaming.
Hot flushes like I've got high fever.

I refuse to take HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) because of it's links to
breast cancer.

I manage symptoms by cutting down on dairy, using specific herbal
tinctures and cold showers and physical isolation while waiting for the tinctures
to work helps for me.
These keep me sane and out of a holding cell and other people out of the ED.

I'd be taking her to a naturopath or a Chinese herbal practitioner before I'd
take the conventional route.


I'd like this twice if I could!

Cold baths for the win, lots of fans when needed and no HRT for me!
 

theaveragedude

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Peri-menopausal here.

I've had a ambivalent relationship with my uterus for most of my adult life.
It asserted it's self for 5 days every month which was met with first joy and then vague distaste.
It's quite the different relationship I have with my vagina but I digress.
Now after so many years of uneasy truce the cunt ( my uterus) is trying to kill me every month.
The cramping has me bent over and screaming.
Hot flushes like I've got high fever.

I refuse to take HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) because of it's links to
breast cancer.

I manage symptoms by cutting down on dairy, using specific herbal
tinctures and cold showers and physical isolation while waiting for the tinctures
to work helps for me.
These keep me sane and out of a holding cell and other people out of the ED.

I'd be taking her to a naturopath or a Chinese herbal practitioner before I'd
take the conventional route.

Thanks for the reply (And @Enid as well)
Yes. she refutes the HRT because of the same reason. I’m more concerned about the mental aspect. Just not into it. Perhaps that’s her.....
Maybe I’ll do the dishes and then vacuum the house in just my tight boxer/briefs... (ya know, sexy mr clean :joy:)

I’m trying to tread lightly but, If the subject comes up I’ll suggest the less dairy, herbal stuff. Now, do you mean THC or CBD tinctures? - we’re potheads - or is it something else?
 
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918177

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Thanks for the reply (And @Enid as well)
Yes. she refutes the HRT because of the same reason. I’m more concerned about the mental aspect. Just not into it. Perhaps that’s her.....
Maybe I’ll do the dishes and then vacuum the house in just my tight boxer/briefs... (ya know, sexy mr clean :joy:)

I’m trying to tread lightly but, If the subject comes up I’ll suggest the less dairy, herbal stuff. Now, do you mean THC or CBD tinctures? - we’re potheads - or is it something else?

I've heard good things about those tinctures but I haven't used them because of legality here in my country.
I use Motherwort - Leonurus cardiaca in tincture form.
It works for me BUT I did do my due diligence to see if it was appropriate.
I recommend your wife do the same.
For me it was a life saver.
I'm not allergic to it, it works faster and better than Buscopan on cramps
in smaller doses.
In larger doses it works better and quicker as a sedative/ sleep aid than temazepam.
It's not illegal.
It's not habit forming.
I'm not pouring money into the pockets of big pharm.

There's a lot to like.
 

SoaringSpirit

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Im POST menopausal. Started around 49 or 50...by then periods had gone down to 3 days ( thankfully ) its been 2 years now.

For me the absolute worst were the hot flashes !!! Dear God...like setting a thermostat at 5000 degrees = volcanic meltdown !!!

I couldn't take it & my sheets also drenched night after night. Hot then cold.
So I did some research, found a natural homeopathic endocrinologist. Cost me some because insurance didn't cover it.
I refused to take any artificial hormones. I took bio identical hormones. Also black cohash & some supplements.
Let me tell you what. I found relief. Took them for 6 months.

Stopped by choice. Im fine now, have occasional hot flash. Sleeping in snow yes, could relate to that big time !

I also took probiotics ( good ones for 2 years) helped with gut health & bloating. I am very active & have lost weight too.

As far as my sex drive, its ALWAYS been high. I haven't had issues with lubrication, but keep it handy. My drive is as good or better than its ever been & i can't get enough of my Guy .
Each woman is different, I much prefer natural supplements & the bio dentical hormones were a blessing.
You are very thoughtful & understanding of your wife. Being there & working together are so important.
The plus of this ? No more worries of getting pregnant...-:)
Yes life really began after 50 for me.
 

SoaringSpirit

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What pisses me off is this foul organ has been living rent free for my entire life.
*Ovaries and Vagina - you lot can stay. No grudge against you.*
It's not as if it's done anything constructive except be a parasitic incubator for equally
parasitic alien larvae.
Sorry, #NotSorry, but Uterus you're going to have to go out and get a fucking job and start paying rent or GTFO.
Esp. in light of this new shitty attitude.
I'm going to staple an eviction notice to my cervix.
 
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950483

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This is an interesting thread. Wish I'd thought of it! As of yet, I don't think I'm starting to get any symptoms, but I should probably start educating myself on the subject.
 

Enid

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Color me jealous! Mine are all over the map at this point. Flow for 2 weeks, off for 3, on for a week, off for 2, on for 5 days, then off for 6 weeks. FFS, I never know what the hell is going on.

I feel bad clicking like. But I appreciate this thread and your input as well as everyone else's so I'll let it stand.

FTR, I'm not sure mine are steadily one month on, one month off (I think I simplified that)....but looking back over this year, 4 months were off. Not in a row though, interspersed. It might be 5 if I don't this month. I'm about a week out so we will see. (ETA: just checked calendar. Two of my periods this year were 10 days. The rest were average 3 or 4 days maybe)

When I do have periods now, the cramps can be brutal and I'm experiencing a lot more symptoms than I used to. Back pain, oh the back pain. And my boobs! Don't even get me started. And I'm such a BITCH for 1 or 2 days right at the start. Like mega extreme grumps. I will literally snarl at my sister if she even looks at me wrong. Or, I'm crying at every. Single. Thing. I didn't used to be this way. I was a 5 day period person with cramps on one day and not much other stuff. A little bit more emotional I guess.

I'm gonna look into motherwort that @Bonfire suggested

I take extra calcium chews when I'm perioding. It seems to help me.

(And to explain further for the OP, I think the only affect on my libido is that approximately once a month I notice a few days where I have no urges whatsoever)
 
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Tight_N_Juicy

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I feel like I've been entering menopause since I started puberty.

My periods have always been completely irregular, and often excruciating. Hot flashes, mood swings.. I've had pretty much all the symptoms of a woman in menopause the entire time I've been an adult.

My reproductive organs and I have been at odds for a long time now. Ovaries, uterus, fallopian tubed... They've all been kicking my ass for over 15 years.

We're all barely starting to get along with each other for the first time in my life over the past two months.
 

LaFemme

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Im POST menopausal. Started around 49 or 50...by then periods had gone down to 3 days ( thankfully ) its been 2 years now.

For me the absolute worst were the hot flashes !!! Dear God...like setting a thermostat at 5000 degrees = volcanic meltdown !!!

I couldn't take it & my sheets also drenched night after night. Hot then cold.
So I did some research, found a natural homeopathic endocrinologist. Cost me some because insurance didn't cover it.
I refused to take any artificial hormones. I took bio identical hormones. Also black cohash & some supplements.
Let me tell you what. I found relief. Took them for 6 months.

Stopped by choice. Im fine now, have occasional hot flash. Sleeping in snow yes, could relate to that big time !

I also took probiotics ( good ones for 2 years) helped with gut health & bloating. I am very active & have lost weight too.

As far as my sex drive, its ALWAYS been high. I haven't had issues with lubrication, but keep it handy. My drive is as good or better than its ever been & i can't get enough of my Guy .
Each woman is different, I much prefer natural supplements & the bio dentical hormones were a blessing.
You are very thoughtful & understanding of your wife. Being there & working together are so important.
The plus of this ? No more worries of getting pregnant...-:)
Yes life really began after 50 for me.
I too used probiotics, had acupuncture and took these foul tasting Chinese herbs. I don’t know if it helped, but it sure didn’t hurt. I did love the acupuncture, though. So relaxing.

No HRT. I kind of toughed a lot of it out. Slept on towels, cool showers, wicking nightgowns, air conditioning, fans (even a portable one for my purse - hot flashes have no shame).

But, yeah, no more periods. I’ve never been happier about losing a bodily function in my life. No more period underwear. No more worry about pregnancy. No tampons or pads. Over 40 years of cramps and pain and bleeding. Over! I wanted to throw a freakin party when the doctor gave me the official word I was done. In fact there should be a ceremonial burning of the accoutrements of menstruation. Bunch of giddy women dancing in a circle around a bonfire (sorry @Bonfire) of fiery pads, tampons, ugly undies, and our old copies of ‘Are you there God, it’s me Margaret’. Then we get drunk.
 

SoaringSpirit

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I too used probiotics, had acupuncture and took these foul tasting Chinese herbs. I don’t know if it helped, but it sure didn’t hurt. I did love the acupuncture, though. So relaxing.

No HRT. I kind of toughed a lot of it out. Slept on towels, cool showers, wicking nightgowns, air conditioning, fans (even a portable one for my purse - hot flashes have no shame).

But, yeah, no more periods. I’ve never been happier about losing a bodily function in my life. No more period underwear. No more worry about pregnancy. No tampons or pads. Over 40 years of cramps and pain and bleeding. Over! I wanted to throw a freakin party when the doctor gave me the official word I was done. In fact there should be a ceremonial burning of the accoutrements of menstruation. Bunch of giddy women dancing in a circle around a bonfire (sorry @Bonfire) of fiery pads, tampons, ugly undies, and our old copies of ‘Are you there God, it’s me Margaret’. Then we get drunk.
" Ceremonial Burning of Accoutrements" Absolutely Love that idea !!
Imagine women everywhere actually CELEBRATING this life transition in a positive way *
Munching on homemade Christmas cookies, while contemplating that type of ceremony....* Smiles*....
 
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950483

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Right. I've started researching it. Pretty pissed off so far because there seems to be some information about the various horrible physical symptoms and available treatments, BUT SO FAR FUCK ALL ABOUT AVAILABLE TREATMENTS FOR LOSS OF LIBIDO. And that's all that I give a shit about really. It's the only aspect of the whole thing that scares me.