Middle life crisis

[huguest]

Husband not into sex.

You should read this post :
http://www.lpsg.com/380773-role-reversal-question.html

I sympathizes with your trouble, but it's not a "middle life crisis" situation.

You should talk this out with him.

Good luck

 

[invisibleman]

Hi, I'm 39 and going 40 in a few months. I'm sure that some of you are familliar with this, but I think I'm starting that middle life crisis thing.

I got 2 kids and a good wife, but like many, with kids, sex been slow, responsability just add up and you start to wonder if you be better, just scrap everything and start over. I mean, I got vivid dream of be on the road and live a simple life. I got hot flash of wild sex scenario, in completely difference instance of life. I got projects I'm just waiting to builts.

So my question, for those that had that same feeling and did find a way to pass trought. How did you manage?

Dont get me wrong, I love my familly and my wife. I'm not looking for excuses to leave them and I'm not looking for the easy answer of, "get a cookie and wait until it's done".

Talk to me about your experience.

Thanks

I think that everyone gets dissatisfied. It is the old "familiarity breeds contempt" thing. And you just want something new...some new things that would make your life interesting and less routine.

Relationships and sex does suffer in serious relationships because you have a mate and you had a fair share of sex with each other...and now that you are familiar with everything you are wondering "Is this all there is to it? Is there more to life that this?" Sometimes you don't know. And it gets maddening.

Aside from relationships...life can be mundane and boring as well. A lot of people want something different. It doesn't always happen at middle age.

 

[h0neymustard]

Time for a Corvette, and be sure to drive 5mph under the limit.

 

[bi_todd]

The midlife crisis topic has been on my mind lately.

I am married with four amazing children, well-paying job, multiple homes, and many other blessings I don't deserve. While I have felt no urges to jettison those good things from my life, I am undermining my own prospects for happiness with moves that smack of desperation. My midlife crisis has been manifest by an ill-advised homosexual affair (http://www.lpsg.com/394675-bi-married-with-boyfriend-on.html) and some other unhealthy behaviors. I have also been focused on my appearance/weight loss/fitness (recently lost 40 lbs) - but I consider that a good thing.

Midlife crisis brings with it feelings of sadness rooted in the likelihood that, at my age, some opportunities will never present themselves again and some desires will remain unfulfilled during my life. I have felt driven to grasp at things I know are not good for me in the first place, simply because it is a last chance.

Through rumspringa, the Amish have provided an avenue for wandering, experimentation, and self-realization for their youth during a critical time of transition. I would welcome a similar 'free pass' at midlife as a way to acknowledge and facilitate another difficult transition (but I'm not holding my breath).

Midlife crisis is a cliche. People make jokes about it, but I have seen more than one guy blow up his life over midlife crisis issues. It is nothing to joke about in my mind - a very serious thing with a potentially disastrous outcome. Walking through a minefield is a very apt analogy in my mind. If I can pick a path through this without self-inflicting a catastrophe, then I will consider myself lucky.

With some key support found here on lpSg, I am coping much better than I would otherwise. Thanks.

 

[twoton]

I agree it's a cliche, but it can also be a real situation. As I posted way back in.....April?...I've either never had a mid-life crisis, or I've been having one for the past 40 years. My wife thinks I've been in mid-life crisis my whole life.

I guess it can help to always believe that the better opportunities are yet to come your way. That's what I do. In many ways, I'm at the height of my present career--and I could stay where I am for the next twenty years and be satisfied. And yet there's always the voice in the back of my head: "There's more to do.....you've barely started...."

 

[deleted871301]

Time for a Corvette, and be sure to drive 5mph under the limit.

Lol... I bought a Z4

 

[554279]

"There's more to do.....you've barely started...."

I think when you don't hear that voice anymore, you're in the crisis stage.

The only thing I would add is that you just need to temper wanting more and better, with tossing the baby out with the bath water. You can always recover from a bad career, business or past time/hobby decision; relationships on the other hand can be clusterfucks when you decide to trade in the "older" model for a new one.

 

[DavidXL]

I don't know about you, but I'm not happy unless I'm working toward a long term goal. That will obviously look different for a man with kids compared to, say, a university grad with no strings attached, but they both have to dream big, I think.

I think the above is great advice (ie, working towards long term goals and dreaming BIG).

Part of my problem is, I did all of that. In my 20s and 30s. I dreamed big, and most of my dreams came true in my 30s and 40s. I need to come up with new dreams and work towards them. It sure would be nice if earning a decent living didin't factor into everything and I could spend more time with my wife and kids.

 

[huguest]

Just to do a follow up, since I'm the OP of this treat. I'm dealling better with my middle life crisis. I did an introspection of my way of living.

If I resume a bit: still with my familly, still at the same job, still doing pretty much the same thing, but viewing it in a different way.

If you look it in a diffenrent perspective, the job is only a way to bring food on the table, So I just drop it in my list of priority. I dont do overtime anymore, I do my job in a way that I'm proud of, NOT TO STRESS.

The familly is important, but you need to have some time on your own. I started to meditate, I spark some new projects, meet new peoples. But all thoses project have the same goal, developpe my inner self.

When your in a middle life crisis, it's because your looking the answer outside, you want to be fufill by some experience, you think your missing on something.

I took the road of fufilling my life with self discovery. And the more I explore, the wiser I get. Maybe someday I will find a meanning to my life on earth.

Good luck to you guys