Monogamy

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No, it's impossible. The universe literally pushes gays into and out of random strangers repeatedly. It angers the universe when they try. You won't like the universe when it's angry.
 
I was for a while with my bf...were were together for 19 yrs. The first 6 we were Mongamous. Then we started to have 3 ways to spice it up.
The reality is, its all in ur head.
 
monogamy is a great ideal, but in today's world of sexual diversity it would be hard to maintain.... it's also difficult (as was stated in another thread in this section) that it can be hard when you have 2 people in a relationship who have the same role in the bedroom... they would have to be in a mutually open relationship in order to be sexually satisfied.... monogamy is only truly attainable if you're monogamously single like me.... the only way i could possibly cheat on myself is if i were celibate....
 
I believe some of gay guys out there (including me) love being with a man monogamously. But, the more I'm exposed to the gay world, the more I feel like monogamy is impossible. I mean, I'll never stop searching for the "one", but more and more guys I met just use the "I'm a man" reason to excuse their sleeping around.
 
I think that monogamy between gay men is difficult, especially if both participants are attractive. I don't really know why that is, but in my opinion, there is sometimes this mentality that if someone better comes along, then why not? I think that in order for monogamy to exist in a gay relationship, each participant must be in equal footing, such as sexually/physically or financially or mentally/emotionally. If both participants believe that they can't find any body else perfect for them, and that whoever it is they are with is on equal footing, then I think monogamy can exist. The idea that "I can do better" must be eliminated. This is how I would base if I could be monogamous with someone or not.

BUT that being said, I do not agree with getting into relationship with someone if at the end of the day you would leave them for someone "better." Better to stay single until you find the one that can tame the beast within you lol.
 
Monogamy may be a little difficult to find but I put far less importance on monogamy than I do fidelity. Technically when a couple has a three way or sets boundaries beyond just the two of them it's not monogamy but it still has that aspect of trust and sexual limitation. The bigger issue is when fidelity isn't possible.
 
slimjimpencil said:
why the fuck not?

a relationship isn't simply sex. if you need to have sex outside of your relationship to 'spice it up' then you probably shouldn't be together (long-term). are gays so gong-ho about sex that they can;t be satisfied by one partner? i doubt that
Click to expand...


I completely agree. It is not just about the sex, there is so much more to a relationship than the sexual aspect. I admit it is quite a big part though, you need that physical closeness with in private. Finding him attractive and only wanting to have sex with the one you are with. I do not agree with open relationships, personally.

barsonlyone said:
I think that monogamy between gay men is difficult, especially if both participants are attractive. I don't really know why that is, but in my opinion, there is sometimes this mentality that if someone better comes along, then why not? I think that in order for monogamy to exist in a gay relationship, each participant must be in equal footing, such as sexually/physically or financially or mentally/emotionally. If both participants believe that they can't find any body else perfect for them, and that whoever it is they are with is on equal footing, then I think monogamy can exist. The idea that "I can do better" must be eliminated. This is how I would base if I could be monogamous with someone or not.

BUT that being said, I do not agree with getting into relationship with someone if at the end of the day you would leave them for someone "better." Better to stay single until you find the one that can tame the beast within you lol.
Click to expand...

I agree with this general sentiment, but I do not agree with having to be on equal footing. If you are in a relationship with someone you are going to have differences and some unequal footing. It is all about supporting each other, being two pieces of a puzzle, fitting together and being the other half that makes each other whole.
It is about making up for and/or accepting each others shortfalls.
It is not about being with someone because you don't think you can find anyone better, it is about being with someone because you do not want to be with anyone else as he completes you.
I know one person cannot meet your every need, that is why you have friends etc. As long as he meets the needs that are important.
I think people are far to quick to give up and end things if a relationship gets boring or monotonous, but this is when if you truly love someone you work hard, put in the effort and make it work.
People do not stay together anymore, they just cut and run.
I am very traditional when it comes to these things, in the 40's, 50's etc this would not happen. You would stay together and make it work...I think we lost this sense of responsibility these days

Anyway, enough of my hopeless romantic ranting lol

Ciao
 
concupisys said:
monogamy is a great ideal, but in today's world of sexual diversity it would be hard to maintain.... it's also difficult (as was stated in another thread in this section) that it can be hard when you have 2 people in a relationship who have the same role in the bedroom... they would have to be in a mutually open relationship in order to be sexually satisfied.... monogamy is only truly attainable if you're monogamously single like me.... the only way i could possibly cheat on myself is if i were celibate....
Click to expand...

We are in the same boat my friend. I totally believe in monogamous relationship. but it is all up to you. But for me, if i'm in a relationship, monogamy would be my choice. But naturally, men could hardly satisfied with one.


I guess that is why in some religions and cultures, polygamy is allowed.
 
NamesAreFun said:
No, it's impossible. The universe literally pushes gays into and out of random strangers repeatedly. It angers the universe when they try. You won't like the universe when it's angry.
Click to expand...

I have a close friend that has been in a monogomus relationship for 50 years......
So yes it is possible
 
Monogamy can be achieved in any relationship whether it be gay, or straight. Straights don't have lock on Monogamy, at all. Look at the divorce rate? Divorce is a cottage industry within the legal community. There's big bucks to be had for any Lawyer who practices divorce. I think there happens to be more honesty in a gay relationship. Its whatever both partners decide upon. Let's see how gay men and women handle being married, when it become legal. It will be interesting to see, if they can be the example for the straight community, or fall into the same type traps as the straights have. I suspect either gay or straight, there will be problems concerning divorce for gays as well. But we shall see.
 
Monogamy is a choice and anything is possible. However, much easier to attain if you are very attractive living in a small town or rural area
 
I don't think it's impossible at all. I think people are just so quick to think that they're going to get tired of being with just one person that it's going to make it come true for them. If you go into a relationship with someone fearing that you're going to get tired of them, then you are.

If you both really feel like you want to be with just the one person you're with, then it will work. Two of my friends who are together have been together for almost two years now, and they still wouldn't even dream of bringing a third person into their relationship.

And if I was in a relationship with someone and they brought up the idea of a third, I'd actually be a little offended, to be honest.
 
Answer: yes
Proviso: as long as both partners in the relationship value it more than the thrill of the chase and short-term gain.
Reality: not always easy!
 
I must admit I'm more shocked by the amount of people who assume that monogamy is only for people who "can't" be classed as attractive. Isn't it rather insulting to imply in one sentence that attractive people are incapable of controlling themselves and people who "aren't" attractive have no choice but to cling onto someone for dear life and would kill for the chance to shag everything that moves..?

As for the question is monogamy possible within a gay relationship, well surely isn't a better question; does it matter..? I mean come on, monogamous or not, as long as people get what they need and are happy within each others company, 'strings' or not, who the fuck cares..?
 
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