My problem...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by KTF40, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. KTF40

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    To start off, this may seem kind of rambling so bear with me.

    I have a problem. My life is pretty much consumed by thinking about penis size. Usually about every 15 minutes or so, I think about it. I think about it a lot. It’s a real fucking problem. Mainly I think about whether or not I’m adequate, am I big enough, will I disappoint my partner, is the guy next to me hung, how many guys in my class have a big dick, can I compare to them, etc. As I’ve said before, I think about this shit a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with my own insecurities in my own penis size. For the record, I’m 6.8 inches long, 5.8 inches in girth. Yeah, I realize a lot of you guys might be thinking I shouldn’t be insecure about that, but I am. It could be worse, but it could be a hell of a lot better.

    Anyways, I’ve only successfully had sex with one girl in my life. I say successfully because I didn’t know how to operate a condom correctly so the previous two times didn’t go well. This girl and I were fuck buddies for about 8 months and we had amazing sex. She is pretty wild, has been with about 60 guys, so she has a lot of experience. She told me not to worry about my size because I was big enough, but I don’t know. I told her to rank me in comparison to the other guys. I thought I’d be pretty high because out of the 60 she has been with, I was the only one who made her squirt (and it was through intercourse so I must be doing something right.) She ranked me 5th. Only 5th! I appreciate her honesty but it only left me more insecure. Guess how big #1 was? 8 inches. How the fuck am I ever going to compare to that? I also asked her how could I improve my cock to be perfect for her. She said I needed to be about a ½-1 inch longer and less thick. That sure doesn’t make me feel any better, but I appreciate the honesty. I need to hear that.

    So I don’t know what I’m getting at here. I guess I’m worried. I’m going to be seeing this asian girl this Saturday who has a pretty tight pussy, so I’m not that worried about being adequate enough for her. But what about whatever girl comes after that? (If another girl comes after that, hopefully!) This shit scares me. It also doesn’t help that I can’t approach a girl so I have to resort to craigslist in order to pick up chicks. And on craigslist, the true colors of women come out. Practically all of them want someone hung or well-endowed. Usually at least 7 inches at THE LEAST. Technically, I don’t even qualify for that.

    I don’t know what kind of replies I’m going to get here but I just needed to get this off my chest. It’s impossible to tell anyone this stuff so maybe someone here can understand where I’m coming from. Some people might say in need to see a psychiatrist or something. That’s not going to help. The only answer that would help me is if girls told me I was hung or something, but I’m not, so there really is no cure here. And please spare me the bs about how it’s not the size, it’s how you use and what not. I’ve heard it all before and we all know size is very important.

    Too long; didn’t read version- I’m another guy who is insecure and lacks self confidence

    And sorry if this is in the wrong section. I didn’t know where to put it.
     
  2. gtocrzy

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    I know exactly how you feel. The thought consumes me also. Twelve years ago (I was 31) I met a 23 yr old and we hit it off really well. Stupid me started asking her questions about her past. I was her 14th partner and one was bigger (she said "it was uncomfortable") She did oral only on a guy once she claimed you "couldn't measure with a ruler" Well this shit tore me up for a long time but I fell in love with her and we ended up getting married and have been for 10 years now. The truth is that having a bigger dick (mine is 7x5) is a bigger deal to me then it is to her. In most positions if I thrust in to hard it hurts her and she doesn't like it. She wouldn't mind a little more girth but I can do that with a pump so problem solved. If you're looking to impress all the ladies it ain't gonna happen, they're all different. But that doesn't change the fact that we want to be bigger huh? I've researched the PE on this site and I'm about to dedicate myself to a PE program for a year or two and see what happens. If it works great if not at least I tried. I'd love to have been born with a huge one but I wasn't so I'll do what I can to be more happy with what I've got. Unless you're the record holder on cock size they're always be someone bigger.
     
  3. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Ok, so you aren't hung like a horse, and you aren't god's gift to women, but in a race, only one person can come first, and in the human race that means there are several billion of us who have to make do with our position in the rankings. And quite frankly, there are much more important things than how big your dick is.

    I know that us guys have hang ups regarding competition, we're naturally inclined to want to be the best and want to come first, but you're really got to put that to bed (so to speak) and just deal with it. I won't give you the "bullshit" about how size doesn't matter, as you're right, it does, but it isn't the number one most important thing about you unless you are being used as a human dildo. Personality counts ok? And if anyone ever tells you otherwise, they're a shallow idiot not worth your time, IMHO.

    Talking of which, frankly, craigslist is not a good way to pick up people. Or rather, it's the type of place you'll pick up a certain kind of person - don't judge everyone by craigslist standards or you'll lose all faith in humanity. To be more blunt about it - women on craigslist are generally looking for somebody to fuck, they don't care about you or your life, they care about your dick in their vagina, so of course they blab on about size, there's nothing much else to talk about in relation to penises as they aren't a terribly interesting topic. If I was Dr SomeGuy talking I'd say what you need is an actual relationship with a normal person, i.e. not somebody looking for random sex on craigslist, a normal person who will have sex with you because they like you, not because they think you have a huge dick.

    Of course that advice might sound fairly hollow, and if it does, I think you've got some insecurities you need to work through. You say seeking help won't help, but that's entirely based on perspective thing - a psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellor can't help you unless you actually want some help.

    I think, TBH you might benefit from talking your insecurities through with somebody, because there has to be a reason for you to think obsessively about this, and exploring that reason will honestly help you come to terms with it.

    And if you think I know nothing about this, think again - I have my own insecurities, I hate the way I look, and I can't deal with people in sexual situations as a result of this - so what I've done is find a counsellor and I've started working through this. It's a long road, but mental ill health is a serious issue which needs to be taken seriously and often needs professional help. Don't rule out seeing a "shrink" they really can help you.

    Or, in the two long, didn't read version: GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
     
    #3 SomeGuyOverThere, Sep 11, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2009
  4. DiscoBoy

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    ONLY 5TH?!...give me a fucking break. You're within the top 5 of 60 men, and apparently the only one to make her squirt, what the fuck more do you want?

    Going to repeat for emphasis: GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
     
  5. a_uncensored

    a_uncensored New Member

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    Hun to me you sound like the a perfect length and girth. For me personally as a woman and for me it's how long you last so I can get off and if you aren't selfish and don't take care of my needs cause I know the guy will get off no matter what.

    The girl you were with sounds like she was a bitch and her comments just fed into your insecurity. You are what you are and if you were with me I'd tell you which ways please me in a supportive manner. Putting someone's size down is not cool. It sounds like you need to be with someone who cares about you and your feelings and the sex will be great with someone who is honest and cares about your feelings.
     
  6. KTF40

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    @SomeGuyOverThere- You made a lot of great points. Practically everything you said I agree with. The only thing is, the whole idea of "GET THE FUCK OVER IT" is so much easier said than done. Like I said, the only thing I know that can solve this problem is if my dick grew an inch, but maybe psychiatric help is something I'll have to look into if this doesn't get any better.

    I would disagree with you on your assessment of craigslist though. Your location says your from Scotland so perhaps you have had different experiences with it there compared to myself in the Washington DC area. The girl I was in the 8 month relationship with I found off of craigslist. She was very normal, except she had a high sex drive like me. Even the asian girl I mentioned in the original post seems to want a relationship with me and I met her from cl. Don't get me wrong though, there are some serious wackjobs on there (particularly some of the males).

    @DiscontentBoy- I want to be #1!

    @Wiggler- The girl I was with thought that I had body dismorphia because I was so bothered by this. Shit, the more I read about this it seems pretty straight on. Luckily though, most of the really bad symptoms don't apply to me. I'm not super depressed about this, I just think about it way too much. And even though I'm really insecure about this, there is no way you could tell by talking to me. I think I'm going to have to look into this more.

    @a_uncensored- Thanks for the kind words. But no, trust me she is not a bitch. I wanted her brutal honesty. The last thing I want is for some girl to bullshit me and say everything is perfect when it's not. Even though ideally she would like me to be longer, there were many times where I could hit her cervix and we couldn't even do legs over shoulders because she claimed I was too thick for her. I'm confident my size was enough for her, but it's the next girl I worry about. Will I be enough? That shit fucks with me all the time.
     
  7. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Then, you will never be happy.

    Take the advice given. Just relax about it.
     
  8. KTF40

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    Well I mean, I want to be #1 but that's not always practical. For example, her #2, while he was 6 inches, was basically a 10/10 looks wise and gave her some kind of intense oral that she's never had before. He would kind of use his teeth a little so he must have known what he was doing. I realize a guy like that, I'm probably not going to top, which I'm content with.

    But if a guy is better than me in bed because he has a bigger dick, then that fucks with me and makes me worry. That's kind of the impression I got with her #1. He had a big dick, he knew what he was doing, and it makes me feel inadequate.
     
  9. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    It sounds to me like the OP has two problems, one is a totally self generated obssession with penis size which has nothing to do with wanting to be a better sexual partner but has everything to do with a fetish about large penises and the second problem is simpler, it's self pity. As others have said penis size is not the only factor in being a good lover or having a well developed sense of one's own masculinity, the OP is apparently none too shabby in bed and presumably lives an otherwise normal life, my advice is either admit to yourself that the obssession with inches is something wider and something that wont be assuaged unless it's explored or forget about what other guys the women your sleeping with had in their pants and move on with your life.

    There are guys with teeny tiny penises who live happily and have totally fulfilling sex lives, if they can then a man with anything above 6 inches certainly can.
     
  10. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    There are many of us who understand your situation very well. We know that no matter how often you hear "get over it," or "you are just fine," or "be happy that it works," etc.....it doesn't solve the problem. Some will call you a whiner. I think the problem really lies more in the fact that we males do constantly rank ourselves with each other and penis size is a very concrete way we rank ourselves. I think that for some reason "average" has become to mean "small." That's why you feel small. Now I am only 5.5 which I know is "average" too, but really it seems so small to me and since I'm also pretty small flaccid, it just seems like I'm tiny. I think about it constantly. I don't know if it would help you at all to know that I would love to be your size plus I think it is kind of the "perfect" size. I know it doesn't help too much. To be honest, the only thing that has been effective for me has been meditation - it is a way to train your mind to get rid of the "stinkin thinkin" that is polluting your mind around this issue. I haven't totally overcome this, but I do know that when I effectively send those bad thoughts down the river it opens my mind up to new possibilities and gives me space to have new patterns of thought enter my mind that are more healthy and fun. Private me if you want to talk more about this....but I really do understand. Take care.
     
  11. rackrackrack

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    Man, let me tell you something. Just because you're not hung, doesn't mean you're small. Like, let me see... just because the queen lives on a palace, doesn't mean that a penthouse in 5th avenue is not so pleasing (stupid example? lol)

    I'm not saying that size doesn't matter. In fact does because it can be an essential ingredient to increase desire on your partner, besides having a great body and a beautiful face. What i mean is that a guy can be super sexy with an average penis if he knows how to make an effort to turn every moment even sexier, using the wide range of characteristics that lead to empathy between two people.

    Beside that, you don't even have an average penis! 6.8" is not average at all. You just have to know how to focus your partner's attention and try to use your instinct to do things the most pleasing way.

    Let's not think that having a horse cock is the only thing you need to have great sex. Some of the guys that show their big cocks here on LPSG, probably look in the mirror and think they would have better chances if they had a prettier face, or body... My opinion is: having a big cock can be great but the most important thing is to know how to take advantage of your qualities. I know a guy who has a pretty fit body, an attractive face, a not so average cock and doesn't get a girlfriend simply because he doesn't know how to act in front of women. See?! Size is good when you know how to take advantage from it.
     
  12. rackrackrack

    rackrackrack Active Member

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    I totally agree with hilaire.
     
  13. Wish-4-8

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    You want to be her #1? You wont. And I bet she was being nice. The guy that got number one probably got it because he had more confidence and wasnt coming across like some mopey self consious loser who thinks dick size has to equal good sex. That guy had confidence and probably got it because he is bigger, but in the end, its all subjective.

    I am so glad she answered that stupid question. Do you really think you would be the best lover out of 60 with you mopey-ness and your lack of experiance? She was the only good lay you had apparently. What new thing did you bring to the table that you learned from your vast experiance with women?

    And you are complaining about 5th? (which I still think is a lie)

    Lets turn this question around. Lets say you fuck this Asian chick this Saturday. And she asks you where she ranks out of your, ummm 2 experiances. And lets say that she is the best, better than your 60 plus lover ex-lay. Then, you hoped to get with other chicks and they ask you the same question. You tell one, you are 3rd because Ms. Asian and Ms. 60 fucks were better. And then she says, "But I want to be #1!"

    Well not everyone can be #1.
    Infact, I will take Ms. Last Place at a Miss Universe Contest or any of the "losers". Cause even at last place, she will be damn fine HOT!!!
     
  14. KTF40

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    @hilaire- Nah I agree I due have an obsession with inches. I mean for example, porn is far less enjoyable to me if the male performer isn't hung. If the guy is just my size, I'm always disappointed. And I'm well aware it takes more than a big dick to be great in bed. But let's face it, what's in your pants really matters. You can only be so good if you don't have it.

    @fournineteenfiftynine- Thanks for the understanding. Have you ever considered PE as a way of getting rid of the bad thoughts?

    @rackrackrack- Trust me, I do try and take advantage of what I got. I think I'm pretty fit and reasonably good looking (I have and have had the opportunity to hook up with multiple girls on the craigslist ce section based on my looks). But like I said to Hilaire, "let's face it, what's in your pants really matters. You can only be so good if you don't have it."

    @Wish-4-8- Haha I think you got me all wrong. While I definietely come across as a big baby on here whining about my lack of size, you would never know I have this problem if you were with me in real life. With "Ms. 60" I was very confident and relaxed around her because I knew I could satisfy her. I was with her for 8 months, and even though it was a fwb deal, we were basically monogamous and would have had a full flegged relationship if we were at more similar points in our life.

    As for the asian girl, I did fuck her Saturday night. It was kind of pointless to tell her my insecurity about cock size because the whole first minute I was in her she was basically in pain due to my size and her tightness (yeah kind of ironic, I know). And while I hope I don't come across as a douche for saying this, I couldn't care less if I was her #1 because she was pretty terrible in bed and I don't plan to meet with her anymore.

    I guess my whole point with "Ms. 60" is yeah I'm complaining I'm not #1 because of my size, but I'm more concerned how my lack of size could negativel effect me in the future. I just feel like since I'm not hung, I feel like I might not be enough for my next potential partner and that scares the fuck out of me.
     
  15. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

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    Stupid question: What is PE?
     
  16. Wish-4-8

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    Penis Enlargment.
     
  17. Wish-4-8

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    Gee, you fucked an Asian? Now I am envious. I have never done that and have always wanted to.

    And how ironic that your size was an issue at this last go around. Turns out you were too big. You just gave lousy dissappointing sex to a woman because of YOUR BIG DICK. Does that make you feel better?

    Now, imagine having it bigger, and never being able to satisfy a woman again because you only cause pain. Does that idea make you happy. I mean, I dont think you will ever be on anyones #1 list any more. But enjoy your big dick. IT turns out that its how you define yourself.

    Here is the solution: Grow your dick to 8 inches and then marry Ms. 60 because she likes big dicks. Hopefully, you may climb up to the #1 spot someday. Just make sure you keep asking her those questions about past lovers. I wonder what lover #60 was like. And ask her if she orgasm after every session. Chicks really like that.

    I hope you have picked up on the sarcasm, I am trying to make a point.
     
  18. rackrackrack

    rackrackrack Active Member

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    There's nothing stupid about that question. I didn't know too, but it's Penis Enlargement.

    :wink:
     
  19. rackrackrack

    rackrackrack Active Member

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    Ok, someone has answered already, lol.
     
  20. rackrackrack

    rackrackrack Active Member

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    Man, forget your penis size! Check out my pictures. Do i have a monster cock? No. Do i have a perfect body? No, i actually gained some weight in the last years, even though i'm still slim. Am i good in bed? Yes. I'm pretty sure about that and i don't even have to know it from my sexual partner because there are somethings you just feel. If your upper head's not functioning, then your penis head will jut be a mess. It's the attitude that counts.

    I would consider looking for some sexual therapy if i was you. You're giving too much attention to your dick which is not average at all as i said before. Most of my friends who easily get girls are not the most endowed ones but know how take control of the situation.
     
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