So, I met this guy, M, online a month or two ago. He was funny, loved being a jerk on the internet, and he was pretty hot (in an urban lumberjack sort of way.) After meeting him for some tea, I determined that he wasn't an internet murderer, so I set him up with my best friend. They went out a couple of times, and then my best friend dumped M because he got baked lays goo all over his wiimote. We didn't want M to go to waste, however, so my best friend set him up with another of our mutual friends. They went out a couple of times, and then M stopped calling him. No biggie.
Here's the problem. Both of my friends have said that M has a gargantuan penis. They way they speak of it in hushed whisphers, as if it were an ancient secret, has filled me with an almost painful curiosity. I need to see this legendary penis, or the mystery will surely drive me mad. Now, my boyfriend has already said that he doesn't find M attractive, so seducing him into a threesome isn't an option. Here are the plans I've come up with so far.
1: Sneak a hidden X-10 camera into M's room to record a video of him taking a shower.
Problems: Hidden X-10 cameras cost money, which is in short supply for me right now. Also, requires more sneaking than I am comfortable with.
2: Learn astral projection and spy on M as a spooky ghost.
Problems: Hooey and flim-flam
3: Convince another friend/passer-by to have sex with M. (Shouldn't be too hard; he seems to enjoy having sex with people I know.) Make sure they take pictures, then run away. Possibly convince them with baked goods.
Problems: I don't have any friends. =(
Does anyone else have any more ideas for schemes? The more hare-brained, the better!
Here's the problem. Both of my friends have said that M has a gargantuan penis. They way they speak of it in hushed whisphers, as if it were an ancient secret, has filled me with an almost painful curiosity. I need to see this legendary penis, or the mystery will surely drive me mad. Now, my boyfriend has already said that he doesn't find M attractive, so seducing him into a threesome isn't an option. Here are the plans I've come up with so far.
1: Sneak a hidden X-10 camera into M's room to record a video of him taking a shower.
Problems: Hidden X-10 cameras cost money, which is in short supply for me right now. Also, requires more sneaking than I am comfortable with.
2: Learn astral projection and spy on M as a spooky ghost.
Problems: Hooey and flim-flam
3: Convince another friend/passer-by to have sex with M. (Shouldn't be too hard; he seems to enjoy having sex with people I know.) Make sure they take pictures, then run away. Possibly convince them with baked goods.
Problems: I don't have any friends. =(
Does anyone else have any more ideas for schemes? The more hare-brained, the better!
