Needless to say, sex has lost its appeal to me. I used to want it but now I'm just bored of it. Before you ask, no I am not interested in any of the kinks people speak of. I have tried some and I honestly don't see the appeal for people.
This of course puts me in a predicament. As most men in the gay community are big into sex, being the one person who finds it dull and boring is obviously going to get some looks. What ever should I do?
Two ways of looking at this. One is that you really aren't interested in sex and the other is that you're not experiencing the type of sexual encounter that you would be interested in.
If you're not interested in sex, then you have some options and choices to make.
If you want to date someone that is interested in sex and more, then if that "more" is worth it, you may have to find a way to gratify or satisfy their sexual desires. If you don't, then you risk the "more".
Or, you have to find someone who doesn't want sex either. That certainly limits the number of possible matches, but you only need to find the one that works.
If you haven't found the type of sexual encounter that does interest you, then you need to experiment with yourself to figure out what you want and what pleases you. You may be missing something in the sexual encounter that makes sparks fly for you. To figure out if this is the case, ask yourself "
do I masturbate?" and "
do I enjoy the feeling of an orgasm?". If you answer "yes", then you would probably enjoy sex, but haven't found the type or style that works for you.
Interesting story...
There is a gay couple that have been together a long time. One of them underwent cancer treatment and after the radiation/chemotherapy had ZERO libido. Neither mentally nor physically was interested in sex. His partner still desired sex.
In the past, after sex, they would have time where they snuggled and were intimate. It was blissful for both of them. Now that they weren't having sex, those moments were lost.
The cancer survivor made a choice. He realized he could still have all of the wonderful moments, if he allowed his husband to have sex with him. So, for joy and selfishness, he would make out, seduce, go down on, and allow his husband to fuck him. He didn't enjoy the sex, BUT, he got tremendous fulfillment from the afterglow.
If you ask him he says, "I can deal with a little bit of discomfort in my bum, to enjoy those perfect intimate moments with the man I love."
