At least he was being honest about his feelings. The most painful stuff we have to admit to ourselves and others is painful because, for one reason or another, it's not "acceptable."
For instance, it has been hard for me to admit this, but I have to the conclusion that I'm very happy to have experienced the whole "gay thing" as a phase and not some indellible mark on my sexuality. It took a long time for me to figure out that, no matter how hard I try to accommodate, there's just too much stuff going down in the "gay community" for me to handle. I accept that I feel less comfortable around my gay male peers, particularly if they're more of the flamboyant, "typical" persuasion. I think I can handle it differently online because I don't have any "direct" contact with those people. I know guys look at my pics on here and some might find them arousing, and some are even brazen enough to contact me directly to say what they think. That's fine. I like positive feedback, and if they're a little too much, I can tune them out. In real life, I know that I would never go out of my way to treat some unjustly just because of who they sleep with. On the other hand, a gay guy isn't the top of the list on figures whom I would want to befriend.
It's tough to say stuff like that because it's easy to let an opinion get out of context and to be blown out of proportion. I'm not expecting anyone to applaud me because I said what I honestly believed. At the same time, I wouldn't want others to get the wrong idea -- that I'm homophobic, that I'd say things like "fag" to every gay dude crossing my path, or that OhCanada's going to attack some random black guy on the street because of his jealousy.
And returning to OhCanada, the bit about feeling jealous when his girlfriend says she's attracted to a black guy -- I'm sure you could substitute any race or any guy for that matter, and the feelings might not be any different. It's hard to tell. Is this baggage from that ex-girlfriend of way back when? Is this insecurity motivated, say, if that dark-skinned guy was a bit better built than he or more handsome? Is it a hate crime waiting to happen? Well, we don't know for sure.
Even now in 2004, I think there's a lingering mystique over interracial relationships, and there are most certainly a lack of positive role models for such couplings. The only successful, well-to-do mixes I see are often parodied, like Mavis's brother in the sitcom "Whoopie" or the big ol' strong Latrell in the recently released "White Chicks."
or the black man who gets angry when he sees an attractive black woman with a white man. The list of variations goes on and on. But needless to say it all stems from the myth of the greener grass. IT is often easier not to look at the things that caused a relationship to crumble than to assign the fault to some one of another color, ethnicity, gender.etc. But I see progress here on this board we discuss things .We may come to verbal blows but we are learning to get along. That is as good as it gets.
