Nudity question

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_theaussieone, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Why do some men get upset when other men dont want to get naked infront of them, or change infront of them?

    Same thing happened in university with me, i never wanted to change infront of the other guys and some guys kinda got angry which i found weird. I mean it's my body, if i dont have too change infront of other guys i wont.
     
  2. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Messages:
    572
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    122
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Denver (CO, US)
    Never had a problem with it in front of men or women. It is just you and them, accept it!
     
  3. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Messages:
    572
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    122
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Denver (CO, US)
    I don't understand why you are so timid. We are all built the same way. If you are with guys like yourself, why are you so embarresed? If you are with a woman, why would you ever be embarrased? You are physically different.

    You are who you are. Either accept it or be ashamesed for the rest of your life. You have to step out there and be who you are. Believe me, you will find some one that will love you forever.

    Married for 43 years with two, grown children and successful children.
     
  4. Pendlum

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    2,151
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    Some people see it as representing sexual repression, which they dislike. need2bsexy2's second post is a great example of this. Some automatically associate shame with why you don't want to do it.
     
  5. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male

    i'm not timid, if i want someone to see my body i'll show them. I just would rather not have to change infront of other people if i dont have too. I'm not ashamed of my body, i just dont feel like my body is a 'community' body, a body i must share and show other human beings. Aren't i allowed to keep my body private.

    secondly i'm single for a reason, i want to be. Why would i do something like marry at my age of 23yr old. I'll marry when i'm much older and my life isnt going anywhere and all the free pussy has dried up. Then i'll consider giving up my independence.
     
  6. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I understand it, but it's hard to explain why. I'm very comfortable being nude around my own gender in the locker room/shower/sauna, and I get annoyed at the overly modest guys as well. I guess it's because of the time that I grew up in when male modesty was frowned upon, not indulged in the slightest and considered effiminate. I have to admit that I feel that way too. I think when guys are overly modest around other guys (at least from my generation) they are violating a social norm, and in a way telling the other guys that they don't trust them enough to be naked around them because they are automatically going to ogle you, and do something inappropriate towards you. The other guys takes offence to this because a majority of times they couldn't give a crap about you and feel that you are being arrogant and conceited to assume such a thing. It's hard wired into guys to be competitive, so we are always sizing up the competition. Since a penis is the ultimate sign of manhood, it is the way that all guys size up the competition. By being overly modest, you are preventing that natural process from happening which again violates an unspoken but understood rule among men. I have bonded better with male friends, my fraternity brothers and men at the gym that I have been naked with (not sexual) because a guy's guard and bravado tends to come down when they are naked becasue they are vulnerable yet empowered. When that happens, true male bonding takes place.

    One thing I do have to say though (which has been commented on in many other threads) is that it's interesting that guys that don't want to be seen naked around their own gender in the gym have no problem putting their nude pictures up on this website that is mostly frequented by other men. I simply believe that guys that are doing this are doing what all guys are hard wired to do through a different venue - that is to see and be seen by other men. I express that need in the gym whereas younger guys feel more comfortable expressing that need on the Internet. Either way it is the same thing, but in a different setting.

    In my experience, the overly modest guys draw more attention to themselves than the guys that go with the flow, drop the modesty and get naked with their fellow man. Once you get used to it, it's really not the big deal that you think it is. I hope this helps you understand a different perspective on the issue. :smile:
     
    #6 AG08, Feb 24, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2011
  7. tlbuncut5

    tlbuncut5 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    864
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I have to agree with ag08... Growing up in the 50's being naked around your buddies was nothing. It was a kind of bonding experiance, after all what did you have to hide after you saw your friends naked. Now days guys hide them selves at the urinals, they are so homophobic, like some dude is going to see thier dick and attack them right there. Some of the younger guys I work with are so penis shy its not funny. One will not take a piss in a bathroom if it has a window, scared that some one might peek in....LOL! What would these guys do if they had to go into the military?
     
  8. dude_007

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    4,891
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    To each his or her own. If you desire modesty in a lockerroom, that is your choice and anyone who takes offense or becomes "annoyed" is the one with the problem.
     
  9. freeballininnyc

    freeballininnyc Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Why does it matter if people get angry? If you're doing what makes you comfortable and aren't hurting anyone, why concern yourself with others' opinions? People are always going to disagree. Do what you want to do and the hell with what they think/feel/say about it.
     
  10. buzzrider7

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2009
    Messages:
    721
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    1,468
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco (CA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'd say half the guys who get angry do so because they see being naked in a community setting as a male bonding thing, and they want everybody to join in. You not getting naked is ruining their party. The other half are guys who are either curious as hell or who are turned on by what you're hiding, so they just want to see the goods. That's my opinion.
    Personally, I love hanging out naked with others, and in the lockerroom I feel that it's my right to do so if I want. But, I also respect the fact that it's your right to choose not to, so I support you in whatever decision you make based on your own circumstances.
     
  11. bbjj_789

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Messages:
    243
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    129
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Vancouver (BC, CA)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I would have to agree with AG08...I think it has to do with male bonding and the comfort level and trust between you and your friends. Your friends might be thinking that you dont trust them or don't feel comfortable with them...but then again...it is your body and you can do what you want with it and show it to who ever you want to. ...but thats something to think about....its good male bonding....funny to say, but it builds a very strong friendship.
     
  12. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I just want to be clear that I do respect everyone's decision to do what they want to do and that I'm only offering a perspective on it. While I admit that overly modest guys annoy me, I would never make an issue out of it because everyone has the right to do what they want to do. Another thought came to me after posting my original comments above which is that by not joining in with what the other guys are doing, the OP is making the other men around him feel uncomfortable about doing something that to them is completely normal. You can be doing the most normal thing in the world, but if others around you are doing the opposite, it makes you feel self-conscious, and makes you feel like you are doing something wrong. That automatically conflicts with your sense of normalcy and causes frustration which turns into anger. This could be another reason why the OP is getting a strong negative reaction from other men. We humans are bizzare and complex social creatures. Just a thought to ponder... :cool:
     
  13. dude_007

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    4,891
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    It was clear the first time. You're taking your own point of view and generalizing it to all "normal" men, who in your opinion, need to bond together naked in the locker room because you do it.
     
  14. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    :sigh1: Another asshole to add to my ignore list. I was trying to open an intelligent discussion about this topic which I guess is a stretch for someone with such a narrow point of view and childish attitude such as yours. The OP asked for explanations, so I provided one. Saying that he should just ignore it and do what he wants doesn't answer his question, now does it you simplistic moron? :asshole:
     
    #14 AG08, Feb 24, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2011
  15. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    It may be unusual but it is not wrong to have modesty. If you read adventure novels you will know that in them, men who are disguised as women and women who are disguised as men get 'discovered' in the locker room or public bath scenarios. Modesty is a way to hide something. Maybe you have a giant liver colored birthmark or six balls?

    You are the opposite of an exhibitionist, but you are driving the crowd wild nevertheless. When in Rome, not doing as the Romans do will create talk. You can use that as you wish for extra drama.
     
  16. nakedone

    nakedone New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    It is time for a moment of civility!

    If the original writer doesn't want to be naked before other men, then that is his right. And no one should criticise him for it.

    If, on the other hand, other men do enjoy being naked together (and this includes me), then they should be free to do so without being criticised.

    This way, everyone can be comfortable, and everyone wins! So simple!
     
  17. D_Wilburforce Throttlebottom

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    2
    AMEN!

    Im not prude or bashful and I have had my fill of forced nudity (wrestling/sports/mil etc).

    I mostly go to a gym now that has a private showers/drying off areas. I like it that way. Although yesterday I had little time for a workout so I went for a run at the university and showered in the open shower room, but given a choice I would have rather not.

    Dunno, just seems like now as an adult in my 20's that I have reached a certain age where I prefer privacy. My biggest issue is with the guys who have to be in your face about it their desire to turn what should be a normal locker room activity into a hour(s) long nudist experience. Would it really kill you to wrap a towel around yourself when you brush your teeth, shave, apply lotion, have a conversation and so on?
     
  18. TuckMeUnder

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2008
    Messages:
    102
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    62
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Oregon
    Verified:
    Photo
    There are plenty of people who simply prefer not to undress in the company of others. In fact it's sufficiently common that they don't ordinarily provoke hostile reactions, so the OP might be doing unintentionally communicating a bad vibe.

    For example:

    Your refusal could come across as a personal attack, like saying "It would be bad for you to see my body." It's easy to see how this interpretation would provoke a hostile response.

    It could also be misinterpreted as "I disapprove of that activity." This kind of message hits a particularly raw nerve because it retroactively accuses the listener of engaging in something bad.

    To be fair, it might just be bad luck. Maybe the OP was sending a bad vibe, or maybe he just encountered some unpleasant people.
     
  19. D_Ari_Olla

    D_Ari_Olla Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have a tendency to agree with most of the points on this thread. When I was over-the-top modest my brothers were constantly pissed at me, not because I wouldn't get naked, but because they felt they had to go out of their way to avoid me. That my modesty was a "warning banner" that I wasn't OK with nudity. Personally, I've seen my brothers and dad naked at least once or twice a week for years, it really doesn't phase me much and hasn't for a long time. But because of my own modesty they assumed that it did bother me.

    Once I was walking up and down the hall naked like everyone else was in the mornings they never seemed to be pissed off at me, and I feel we've gotten a lot closer trust-wise. I guess it all goes back to a piece of advice that my dad gave me years ago ... if you want to hide in a locker room, lose the towel. No one pays attention to a naked guy in a locker room. But, if you're going out of your way to hide everyone notices.
     
  20. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    An excellent piece of advice your father gave you. I wish more fathers would do the same. :cool: I have always said that guys that go out of their way to remain covered up draw more attention to themselves than those that don't.
     
    #20 AG08, Mar 15, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2011
Draft saved Draft deleted