Old Boyfriend

[B_thirteenpointhree]

Can't say I have ever had the problem of a girlfriend who has had a bigger guy than me.

But I do wonder what these women will do after me.... and the poor guy who has to folow-up.

SO many say I have spoiled them and they keep comong back months even years later because they keep trying others but they say nothing can compare...
but I guess I am not really helping with your problem !

but like many said, relationships are very different to just plain old sex/ flings/one nighters.

If a woman is with you and has been with a bigger guy before, just think - she is with you NOW, not with that other guy , so why isn't she with the that guy if he was so great ? Obviously he wasn't for spme reason or another.

 

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H8Monga: Better be a damn good reason... oh... ;D

Thanks.

 

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AnonyMs: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=relationships;num=1044652622;start=12#19 date=04/07/03 at 22:02:22]I just can't help to worry how I compare to any exes if she has any... trick is not letting it consume me.[/quote]

Hapi Papi: Sure you can help it. Get into therapy sweetie and get over this hang up. It is eating you alive and you will be a happier person AND a better future mate. If you will not do it for yourself, do it now for the woman you will love. I am concerned your insecurity about the issue will place an undue burden on your future love that will make it difficult to flourish as I know your heart longs for it to.

 

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H8Monga: I'm fighting best I can right now. I can't even afford to go to a medical doctor at the moment. Perhaps after I get benefits. Thanks for your concern.

 

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pkg: you want to know something intimidating. I'm six inches hard, and my while I was dating my ex-gf she ended up telling me that the biggest guy she had ever been with was a thirteen year old that she had gone out with for 6 months when she was also 13. Of course they measured and he was 81/2 inches at that age. Honestly, it would have ebeen bad enough if he was adult, but a kid has been deeper in her than I have. She also mentioned that he used those magnum XL's. She thinks its funny to tease me every once in a long while. One time we were in a sex shop just to get some sensual massage oil and you know how the dildos are all lined up with the number of inches displayed boldly on the packaging. She pulled me over to them and started looking through the six inch ones to find one like mine. She found one and put it between my legs, jokingly and said something like, "that's just about right." PLaying along I picked up an eight inch one and put in up against my groin and the first thing she said was, "oh, i've had bigger, slightly anyway." At least she didn't still know the guy.

 

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Yowsers: You can't change the past!! Whover you go out with, unless there virgins, you'll never if you're the biggest or smallest they've had. Some people will spare you the truth and some one will be honest. But worrying about it is just plain silly and selfish. Focus should be on pleasuring your partner and yourself. Not worrying about how big you are in comparision to someone.

 

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AnonyMs: okay guys, when you have a new date mate, are you constantly comparing her to old girlfriends - she's not as tight/tighter, breasts are smaller/bigger?

Granted, when I was in my twenties and still marveling at the variety of penes available, i probably gave it more thought. Now, at the most, penis size comparisons might be a fleeting thought but that's it - at least for me.

If you take the attitude that it is all about her and make her feel wonderful, loved, cherished, protected, etc, ol' whathisname will not enter her mind.

We women are funny like that.....

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=relationships;num=1044652622;start=0#14 date=04/07/03 at 13:52:42]

I've never had sex but I worry that when I do, I'll have that feeling. I have always said when people told me if you two are in love, size won't matter, but it will always be in the back of my head that this girl if she's not a virgin will most definitely have had sex with a guy bigger, perhaps way bigger than I am.  The last 5 sentences I've said over and over and worry about over and over. It seems to me, every girl has had sex around the block has encounted someone bigger than I am especially if she's black. Why would she even want to have what I have when someone else was better in size?
[/quote]


Papi, it's obvious that you've high standards and are going to wait for the girl who rocks your boat. That's perfect! It'll help you select the right lady.

You need to know that the greatest turn-on for us ladies has little to do with size. Honestly!! The brain is the largest sex organ. When a great guy, whom I admire and respect, is HOT for me and seriously cares that I enjoy the love making, that's secret for hot, wet monkey sex!!

The tips here will help you. http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/cunnfaq.html

Be at peace in your mind. If you keep your priorities straight, you'll do wonderfully!!

:-*

 

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Turbo: kylef, I would suggest that u just banish the thoughts and insecurities completely out of your mind... for it will eventually ruin your relationship.

You dont see her running to Jason now do you? If u keep on at it... eventually she would be running to Jason or George Bush or whoever else who does not make her past such a big deal.

I once was with this woman for nearly 2 years, and we were very very sexual in it... at least twice a day and often nearly the whole saturday being inside her... lets just say she was very used to my size after a few months.... then she got married to this black guy who is 6'8" but 4" long erect. Only after 3 months of the end of our relationship... and yes he had seen me naked before... same gym..
He made the issue about it and asked lots of questions like u been asking.... and within a month of marriage, she was on my bed... not because of the pleasures I gave her due to my size... but more of the pressure he was putting on her.

 

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k8wannabe: kylef, i'd like to know how this turns out for you. I have been in a similiar situation for over 12 years and it's eating me up. I asked for too much detail and got it. I even found a picture of my wife's ex b/f penis from some old negatives that my wife thought she disposed of. He's 3 1/2 inches longer and 1 1/2 inches more in girth.

I've been consumed by this. I masterbate to the image of this guy doing my wife. When we make love my thoughts of how this guy went places and did things I cannot do. I'm started to have negative feelings towards her (undeservedly) not too long after getting married.

I know it's a problem in my mind that's grown over time. All the suggestions to you post about "putting it out of your mind" and "she's yours now" and "get help" all make logical sense but it still doesn't change the facts in my mind.

I hope this doesn't paint a picture too familiar to you. I don't want anyone to go down my path. Perhaps you could pass on how you've dealt with the problem. Maybe there's still help for me.

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=k8wannabe link=board=relationships;num=1044652622;start=20#29 date=09/01/03 at 21:03:01]kylef, i'd like to know how this turns out for you.  I have been in a similiar situation for over 12 years and it's eating me up.  I asked for too much detail and got it.  I even found a picture of my wife's ex b/f penis from some old negatives that my wife thought she disposed of.  He's 3 1/2 inches longer and 1 1/2 inches more in girth.

I've been consumed by this.  I masterbate to the image of this guy doing my wife.  When we make love my thoughts of how this guy went places and did things I cannot do.  I'm started to have negative feelings towards her (undeservedly) not too long after getting married.

I know it's a problem in my mind that's grown over time.  All the suggestions to you post about "putting it out of your mind" and  "she's yours now" and "get help" all make logical sense but it still doesn't change the facts in my mind.

I hope this doesn't paint a picture too familiar to you.  I don't want anyone to go down my path.  Perhaps you could pass on how you've dealt with the problem.  Maybe there's still help for me.[/quote]

Oh, Man!! You aren't fair!!! You're screwing up your marriage and your wife can do nothing. Does she know that you're obsessing like this??

She made the mistake of giving you some info, but you're going way overboard with this. And I think you know it.

I quit smoking 7 years ago, and the only way I could do it was to refuse to allow myself to think about having a cigarette. [And the thought popped into my head about every thirty seconds the first few days.] Every time my brain said, "YES!", I said "NO!" And I forced myself to think about something else. It was rough for a while, sure, but that worked.

If you don't have the wherewithall to be able to do that, then get some counseling ASAP, if you care anything for your wife and saving your marriage!!! Divorce sux! Believe me. You don't wanna go there!!

God bless and all the luck in the world.

 

[Max]

k8wannabe,

wvalady is 100% right IMHO.

As has been said on this board in the same context before ... she married you, not him. Sometimes, I suppose, it is hard just to accept the fact that someone loves us. But that has to be what you have to do. The 'facts in your mind' aren't facts at all .. this is.

 

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quest2know: .

 

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joe22xxx: I'm sure this has been said many times before, but I think most men, me included, have a mechanistic way of looking at these kind of problems; like if we do this or that, then things will get fixed.

I've had a few serious relationships with girls,and although they may kid me about my size, they did a lot more to remind me that they cared about me as a person than any physical characteristic I had. I think this is one of the BIG differences between women and men, at least in my experience. I also think it takes a longer time for guys to mature emotionally where we don't feel that we have to be the best or the biggest or the coolest,etc. For me the best thing about having relationships with women is that I don't have to prove anything. Hey, this girl likes me just the way I am. Isn't that amazing!

 

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captainstupid: my gf last bf was 13 inches and i am only 7, i guess she knows the differnce but thier isnt much you can do.

 

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Ineligible: He probably wasn't really anything like that size. And you might handle yours much better.

 

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AOX3: regardless of the issue of equipment, it is the quality of the orgasm that counts. when ya feel a little inadequate just remember the look on her face when she comes. That should take your mind off of what is bothering you. By the way, it is merely a fact of life that there is always somebody bigger.

 

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awellhungboi: I have a different take on this.  K8wannabe, and everyone else with similar feelings, the worst thing, I feel, that you can do is continue to be silent, harboring guilt and trying to deny your sexual fantasies.  Talk to your wife/partner.  Open up.  You don't have to make a Lifetime Movie of the Week about it, just tell her that sometimes you imagine her with another man.  Maybe your wife/partner would be intrigued or aroused by the thought of having a threesome with you and some other guy.  Maybe not.  I couldn't say.  But I can say this: an ex-partner's penis size will not destroy a relationship.  Secrets, lies, and sins of omission will.

No matter what you decide, K8wannabe, please keep this in mind: there is always help and hope out there. Sharing with us was a step in the right direction. So don't give up, and keep us informed of your progress!

 

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wvalady1968: It's scary that you know about the Lifetime Movie of the Week.

 

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huge_cock_have_pic: On my end of things, I've been the ex boyfriend. I saw the ex girlfriend at a 10 year class reunion. She was married and the guy seemed nice enough at first. Anyway, I am pissing in the urinal when he comes in and saddles up to the next one. The guy looked and then looked away. After that he wouldnt talk to me, even though we'd talked about work and sports prior to that. What was more disturbing was his demeanor toward the ex had also changed. The rest of the night he was short with her (no pun intended) and would snap at her. As for me. I honestly felt awful about the whole thing.