Pissed at the world…but why?

[seventiesdemon]

Yeah well....I was Number2....Then 3............Number 4 was taken.........so now I'm 5 or 6.

All I can say is.....nothing much escapes the planet. Think about it. I remember playing footy on a school playground near a crematorium and breathing in burning people.

Yet, we, to this day, breathe in Dino DNA. It just keeps going around and around....We either drink it, eat it or breath it.

I remember saying to the kid on the other team back then...............I smell burning people...................

Get over it people..............you have been eating, drinking, breathing, dead people,animals, trees, everything that has lived or died from the day you were born..................where else are billions of dead bodies going to go???? To the centre of the Earth.................hahahahahahahahahaha

Gravity.

 

[heavy weather]

I had to force myself to smile after many years of being pissed off at the world. I was a single mom at 21 after I left a serial cheater who has not seen his daughter in over 30 years. My relationship with my parents was contentious, which is why I married the week after I turned 18.

I worked my way through college and left home as quickly as I could. I was so angry at everything that I did stupid things.

I was listening to some stupid talk show on the radio talking about trying to smile through the hardships. Yeah, right. Hell, I'll give it a go.

The amount of effort it takes to smile when your inclination is to tell everyone FU is immense. But I did it.

And I seriously believe that it's changed my life. I apologized to my parents for being an asshole all of those years. They didn't accept my apology because they believed there was nothing to apologize for. I cried.

I apologized to my daughter for being a gloom cloud in her life. She never saw me that way.

It's rare you'll see a photo of my without a smile these days.

There's a lot I could be angry about now, but there's a lot that I cannot control. I know I can control the way I treat people, though.

It takes effort, and that's something that some sad people just don't want to give.

What a beautiful statement you wrote here. It really touched me. I truly admire your resolve and insight. You sound like an amazing person.

 

[bravesoldier]

I guess I could ask this in the Relationships section but I’m not really interested in a guys take because somehow the answer would work back around to his dick size. Kinda like the number 42 and the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy.

So

I have had two women in my family that share a similar trait and judging by what I see elsewhere it’s not that terribly uncommon an issue.

My wife’s aunt just seems like she is pissed at the world. You bring up a person or subject and she’ll tell you why it affects her directly and how it pisses her off. She never has anything good to say about her husband and he’s one of the most decent men I know. Always helps, hard worker, lived in a little travel trailer near work towards the end of his career while she lived up at the 77ac horse ranch he bought because she wanted it. The ranch was simple and they were not swimming in money but he worked till he was old and even after retirement bailed hay fields till his eyes gave out. Even then she bitched at and about him. She just seemed spring loaded to the pissed off position about everything.

The other is MUCH closer to home. Much.

My wife has never had to work. I’ve always provided, purchased her the homes she wanted and worked hard to make them what she liked. This sounds self stroking but I’m easy going, always listened to her day(but learned to not try to solve her problems)when I got home, try to be fun and funny to lighten the mood around the house, felt like I was supportive and complementary and always tried to provided the things she liked. To be fair she was never one for the typical material things but always supported her love of animals including numerous dogs and cats and an array of horses, goats, chickens, and of course Buddy the Wonder Donkey. (He was a bit of a diva)

Now she has never been ugly to or about me. She has always been very kind and supportive. Thing is she is really hard on our adult children. It’s much like the other woman I talked about. I even told her I was concerned about her and I was afraid she was headed down the same path.

I even retired early because I thought we could have some fun and she could relax with some help. Come to find out after telling me “Hell yeah retire baby, you deserve it!” She doesn’t really want me around the house. Which turned out fine for me. I spend my days up at the local community college art Dept.

I understand this is a very limited view I’ve provided and I understand everyone has their right to be pissed about what ever they like but I’m kinda a a loss. Why be so pissed off when you seem to have a pretty decent life.

I’m in no way trivializing her feelings. Hell, quite the opposite, I’m concerned I’ll go tits up and she’ll be alone and isolated. I’m just curious if any of this seems familiar? Do you have friends like this and or do you have insight?

Yes, I saw this for years. When I was married, my mother-in-law was like this. Long story short, it didn't take me long to see that she was miserable with herself and/or her life, as she had nothing good to say about most anyone or anything. Exact same situation with my ex sister-in-law. The SIL did despicable things to me and her sister, because at that time her sister and I were happy, she wasn't, and she could not take it. In turn she made my life miserable, as did my ex MIL, most of the time.

Now.. after many years of being divorced from her sister, my SIL is very happy and she treats me like I am her best friend in life, even though we are no longer connected as a family.

A lot can be said about someone who hates their life!

 

[Electric blue]

It sounds like she has a lot of feelings bottled up inside. She may need someone to help her through dropping those hurtful thoughts and past trauma (maybe not physical or even related to you) and how she (and you) can enjoy living in the moment together and individually. Do you think she would be open to something like a workshop or class with or without you? I know of some good ones but she has to want to feel better.

Was that for me ??? If it was ,you missed the part where she took her own life

 

[Fellatiator]

Was that for me ??? If it was ,you missed the part where she took her own life

I am truly sorry for your loss. In this message I was conversing with the OP and he replied.

 

[Electric blue]

Ok , I must have missed that

 

[Number 9]

She was having some good success with a therapist for a couple years but then she had a very bad break of her leg/ankle and issues after( like diabetic healing issues) and she lost that outlet. Problem is my wife HATES change. Really hates it especially when finding a therapist was an impressive leap for her.

I guess that’s been the difference maybe. Seems right

I should clarify, my wife’s therapist had the bad break, not my wife.

But my wife still dislikes(strongly) change. Having to change therapist is very difficult after spending 2 years forging a trust and understanding is more than she wants to deal with.

 

[michael_3165]

I've met literally hundreds of people who have this exact problem (unsure if it is a problem, unless it bothers you particularly). The fact is that it is all about acceptance. People can't accept that life is unfair, that it isn't what they want it, that they are (supposedly) stuck with someone they despise, things people have done or they have done. They may look like they have a decent life but something is missing and they are pissed about it.

I suspect anger masks sadness as most people, from my experience, find being angry MUCH easier than being sad. With anger you can direct it outward, with sadness its incredibly painful to work through.

So why are people like this? Who knows.

I'd hypothesise that being bitter and angry at the world allows you to opt out of taking any responsibility for changing it. If everything is the world's fault, you can sit back comfortably without having to own your shit. "So and so did this to me, I hate them", "the world isn't fair, I hate everyone" blah blah blah. Its all the same. Letting go is also hard because people think letting go equals quitting or giving up or agreeing that things aren't as we want them. By all means go ahead with that, but know that the only miserable person is you (not YOU OP )

The other issue is that if you focus on other people's faults etc you don't have to face your own. I believe that many people LIKE being mad at the world, because it energises them and gives them something to life for. If they drop that what do they have? a life with little meaning or purpose. Oh joy!

The TLDR: Life is shit, it is easier to blame others and the world than focus on your responsibility. Avoid this approach like the plague or stay miserable. Accept that life is what it is, often unfair but also beautiful in places.