madame_zora
Sexy Member
I've always found that if you worry more about giving than receiving, you'll receive plenty.
My cup runneth over, or at least my sheets...
Possessiveness
- Thread starter Lordpendragon
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I've always found that if you worry more about giving than receiving, you'll receive plenty.
My cup runneth over, or at least my sheets...
It's just a grammatical construction. I'm aware of no language in which the possessive case implies legal ownership. It implies a particular relationship between concepts. In only a few instances is that relationship legal or physical ownership, and even then it's not really implied by the construction. "My dog" by itself doesn't tell us that the dog is a possession or my personal property. We know it's a possession because we know that's the normal relationship between humans and dogs, not because of the grammatical construction. We can still say "my dog" after it's been sold, stolen, or lost and is no longer owned by us. Likewise we can say "my friend" without implying ownership; otherwise "my friend" would be understood to be synonomous with "my slave." Ditto "my doctor," "my worst enemy," etc.
"My school," "my profession," "my curse," "my planet," "my obsession" - none of these imply actual ownership by me. Some can be read to mean the opposite - the object owns me.
Umm, what was the question, again?
"My school," "my profession," "my curse," "my planet," "my obsession" - none of these imply actual ownership by me. Some can be read to mean the opposite - the object owns me.
Umm, what was the question, again?
AlteredEgo
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I do. I am driven by MY goals. I own the goals, and that ownership is important to me. I can push toward the dreams of a friend, as well, but that's not nearly as important to me as my own agenda. My current mission is to buy a house. The house I live in is not MY house and even though I will own it someday, it will never be MY house to me. I didn't go to every bank in the entire city of New York trying to find a lender who served black women. MY grandmother did that. The fact that she is MY grandmother is important to me too. You may call her "Grandma" if you like. I am willing to share; especially if you no longer have a grandmother of your own. At that point, she is our grandmother, and that's fine. But her achievements (which belong to her) are part of MY history, and can never be a part of yours in the same way. You do not have to live up to them. Choosing not to would not lessen you in any way. Me choosing not to would demean all that she accomplished: She did it so I could. I don't know if I'm doing a good job of expressing myself.
Anyway, I must push forward setting and accomplishing goals, reaching dreams, validating potential. I must do it because my future, and what will then be my history are important to me. Because they are mine, you cannot do it for me. Otherwise, I would let you.
AlteredEgo
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As an aside, my boyfriend (so called to differentiate him from any other boyfriend, from any others of my friends, and to avoid using his name because he does not want to be known here as AlterdEgo's significant other but rather as simply himself) refers to me as his female. I do see the irony. I also like it, though I know that's kind of sick.
I am equally, if not moreso possesive. I'm likely to exhibit a thought pattern of, "Look at that hot body! But don't touch it. I'll cut your hands off." (Idle threat.)
I am equally, if not moreso possesive. I'm likely to exhibit a thought pattern of, "Look at that hot body! But don't touch it. I'll cut your hands off." (Idle threat.)
JustAsking
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It can also get ugly, such as in extreme forms of nationalism. "My Country, right or wrong.", used to be the John Birch Society's bumper sticker. Notice how they started to understand how to reduce anything complex to a binary question of "For us or agin' us.". These days it has been raised to an art form.
I used to answer that with, "My Country, as right as possible".
I used to answer that with, "My Country, as right as possible".
:biggrin1: That's almost exactly my post, re-worded. Possessives are a necessary grammatical construction, only becoming suspect when excessively emotionally charged.
madame_zora
Sexy Member
I'm pretty sure LPD was referring to the human tendency toward the feelings, not the language.
Oh, well, in that case, about the only thing I'm possessive about is my individual constitutional rights.
D_Garmanswait Glassnads
Experimental Member
Yeah, what exactly are they?
One of my girl friends has an extreme possessiveness over me, any mention of sex and me and she bites your head off, I wish she'd just dump her boyfriend and get on with it ffs.
Well, I'm actually being retroactively possessive of my rights. They keep mysteriously disappearing, one by one.
And what's the chance of a new administration giving them back?
Sweet Fanny Adams, as we say on this side.
I was reminded recently of an expression. You don't see shrouds with pockets.
SpeedoGuy
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I think so, LP. Despite all the slogans about organizational pride and shared values, I've never seen any of our employees drive our office's filthy van home after work to spend an afternoon washing and waxing it.
Indeed Speedo, people certainly don't seem to take as much care of other people's stuff.
I wonder if possessiveness is linked to insecurity? What is retail therapy after all? Why do people get so upset if you don't agree with their view of a religion or it's "holy" books?
I wonder if possessiveness is linked to insecurity? What is retail therapy after all? Why do people get so upset if you don't agree with their view of a religion or it's "holy" books?
I think it definitely is. Religion puts lifes issues into a certain framework and causes a sense of peace and security. People are possessive of relationships because they meet some need in that person's life, the same with possessions. For this reason, I think security probably does have a big part to play in the equation.
I supposed this one was mine too. :smile:
I'm hoping I'm carrying on a conversation and not a diatribe.
Are you completely free of possessiveness? What possessiveness are we talking about?
Why do we have the need to own, to possess, perhaps even to be owned or to be part of something? Do we think it gives us meanings and goals? Does it make us feel secure? Is it an iinnate part of the human condition?
Ownership brings responsibility and stress as well as supposed fulfillment. But is it our idea of fulfillment or someone else's and why would society wish to impose this on us?
Well, what jacket would you wear to work tomorrow if somebody in your neighborhood came in to the room you sleep in and took all the clothes that you usually wear for their needs?
Admit it you are just talking about people 'owning' each other in a relationship not the 'owning' of property.:biggrin1:
Funny Christ talks about ownership of worldly stuff being irrelevant. Is that what you are talking about?
OOO Spike, you naughty thing, taking our Lord's name in pain.
Personally, it is very liberating not to posses things. Of course that comes from a privileged perspective of having the choice, but many "poor" people also live happily with non-possession.
I think Western culture places too much emphasis on ownership goals, often for someone else's benefit.
But really I wanted to know what other people felt. :smile:
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