Question for gay/bi guys...

[rtg]

I'm so sorry if this thread has been done before...I tried to do a search and couldn't find what I was looking for.

As a straight woman, I don't know much about the sex life of a gay/bi guy...

From being here, I've seen that guys are refer to themselves as either a top or bottom...why not do both? Does anyone ever alternate between the two?

Or, once your a bottom are you always a bottom, and vice versa for tops?

I'm quite curious to know about this... :smile:

 

[davidjh7]

We are all individuals, and everybody is a little different. Don't get hung up on lables. Guys may be exclusive tops, or exclusive bottoms. Or they may be versitile, meaning they do both. A guy who has a strong preference for bottoming or topping may switch now and then, for various reasons. A guy may start witha preference for one, and later change sides. It is all up to the person. Ultimately, it has to do with what feels best for that individual. You can never make assumptions. Just like, some women like lots of nipple play, others don't. Some like fairly intense clitoral stimulation, others can;t bear it. Some women like anal, others don't. We are all individuals, and labling someone for convienience will always get you in trouble. Hope this answers your questions.

 

[rtg]

Yes, it does thanks so much for explaining this to me I've seen so many posts saying 'I'm a bottom' or 'I'm a top'..so it didn't appear like guys were versatile. But when you explain it like that, I get it now... thanks again!

 

[concupisys]

there are degrees to this matter, though i don't partake in any of them.... (just so you know, not all gay/bisexual men dig anal sex for various reasons....)
total top - only tops
total bottom - only bottoms
top - almost a total top, but is known to experiment
bottom - only bottoms but is known to experiment
versatile - doesn't have a preference
versatile top - tops by preference, but loves to bottom for the right guy
versatile bottom - bottoms by preference but loves to top the right ass
power top - fucks like a jackhammer and wants a power bottom who can take it
power bottom - wants a power top to fuck their ass like a jackhammer

.... hope that answers your question.... please excuse me while i get all these bad mental pictures out of my head now....

 

[rtg]

there are degrees to this matter, though i don't partake in any of them.... (just so you know, not all gay/bisexual men dig anal sex for various reasons....)
total top - only tops
total bottom - only bottoms
top - almost a total top, but is known to experiment
bottom - only bottoms but is known to experiment
versatile - doesn't have a preference
versatile top - tops by preference, but loves to bottom for the right guy
versatile bottom - bottoms by preference but loves to top the right ass
power top - fucks like a jackhammer and wants a power bottom who can take it
power bottom - wants a power top to fuck their ass like a jackhammer

.... hope that answers your question.... please excuse me while i get all these bad mental pictures out of my head now....

Wow, thanks heaps for the explanations!

Sorry for my ignorance and if this may sound rude, but why don't you like anal sex? I've read in another post of yours that you said you never have, and never will, try it. I'm quite curious to know of the reasons for this? Especially since so many straight men love it too. My bf loves it, but I think it will be a long time before we go there...if at all.

 

[concupisys]

well, let's put it this way: as a gay man, i have not nor will ever experience any close physical contact with a woman's genitalia.... i feel exactly the same way about buttholes.... nothing against those who do, but i'm simply not wired that way.... i've tried imagining it from both sides of the equation, and my stomach turns no matter how or which way i think about it.... guys i've been with have tried going there with me with their hands and once i was getting a massage and some dude tried rimming me and my whole body just went rigid.... i don't find it attractive, erotic, or even funny anymore....

 

[rtg]

well, let's put it this way: as a gay man, i have not nor will ever experience any close physical contact with a woman's genitalia.... i feel exactly the same way about buttholes.... nothing against those who do, but i'm simply not wired that way.... i've tried imagining it from both sides of the equation, and my stomach turns no matter how or which way i think about it.... guys i've been with have tried going there with me with their hands and once i was getting a massage and some dude tried rimming me and my whole body just went rigid.... i don't find it attractive, erotic, or even funny anymore....

That makes perfect sense! It doesn't really appeal to me either. Unfortunately I'm kinda weak when it comes to pleasing a partner, and let someone pressure me into it once...I didn't want to do it but submitted. I didn't enjoy it. I'd only do it with my current bf once we are incredibly in love...just to please him. I wish I was as strong as you though! It's certainly a trait to admire in a person.

 

[concupisys]

heh.... 'admirable'? i suppose it depends on who you talk to about it.... frankly, being gay is confusing enough without 9 degrees of anal preferences to consider.... and even still: not taking any of those preferences in to consideration is an issue in and of itself.... but since i have no plans or interest in falling in love either, i'm well out of the way of doing something i don't want to do for the sake of someone i love....

 

[rtg]

Yeah, well it's admirable to me cos I wish I was like that sometimes. I think it's a great that you are comfortable enough in yourself to not be pressured into things that you don't like/don't want to do.

 

[751072]

All depends on personal preference. You're not stuck being one thing or another. Personally, I think it can be fun going both ways but don't mind someone that is only one way or another - I can adjust.

 

[concupisys]

@n53b30: that would be an example of 'versatile'....

 

[latinluva]

I consider myself versatile....though I enjoy being a bottom more than a top. It seems like one of those things that just kinda runs its course. If the guy is aggressive and masculine...I tend to submit and bottom. If the guy is cute and fem, I might take on the aggressive masculine role and top him. But its one of those thngs that just kind of falls into place as the meeting takes place or relationship develops. I had a great realationship with a guy once and we both topped and both bottomed for each other.

 

[concupisys]

OOOH.... see, this brings up another issue....

" If the guy is aggressive and masculine...I tend to submit and bottom. If the guy is cute and fem, I might take on the aggressive masculine role and top him."

since when is anal sex an issue of domination vs. submission or masculine vs. feminine? when i'm with guys, i want to experience a sense of sexual equality, and not feel as though there's some kind of weird battle going on or roles that are being played.... like, so many gay men give me flack for not wanting to do anything anal because they expect me to take on one of these roles.... or worse yet: they assume that just because i'm young, skinny and smooth that i'm a bottom by nature.... what's up with that???

 

[Ricknjaxfl]

Guys can also say they are top/bottom in regards to oral, not just anal. What is nice is that the choices are unlimited, so theoretically you can find some common ground with most guys. Some combinations between guys seem to work better. For myself, I can be 100% one way or the other, much depends on the other guy, and my mood.
Another twist, if a butch guy is submissive, that is very erotic to me, also a pretty or fem guy that likes to fuck is very hot.
Interesting subject, thanks! Now I am horned up and no one to play with!!!!

 

[D_Sal_Manilla]

Well I'm like 90% bottom because i love the dick and i love how it feels and 10% top because When I'm really really horny, i will want to fuck you... but i do consider myself a bottom... who like passionate sex.

 

[concupisys]

@rtg: you should attach a poll to this thread and survey how many people here fall under which degree of anal preference.... just be sure to include 'not interested' as an option....

 

[Mateo888]

I'm not really big in anal sex but if push comes to shove, I'm a top which is very rare. If I'm in this really hot foreplay and suddenly my partner would insist to fuck him, I lose interest and I get pressured to do it then I get soft. Then it turns a frustrating experience for both. I'm always upfront when it comes to my preferences - I'm big on kissing, oral and frot. Thing is, there are not that many guys who are into non-anal and yes, there were some stereotyping going on. I'm slim and have a small frame and guys usually ask me if I'm a bottom.

 

[751072]

you'd think that's how it should go but for me, i get really turned on by being top with a bigger, aggressive, masculine guy - equally turned on though bottom with the same type. i'm not real attracted to feminine guys but if came to it, i would only top with one.

OOOH.... see, this brings up another issue....

" If the guy is aggressive and masculine...I tend to submit and bottom. If the guy is cute and fem, I might take on the aggressive masculine role and top him."

since when is anal sex an issue of domination vs. submission or masculine vs. feminine? when i'm with guys, i want to experience a sense of sexual equality, and not feel as though there's some kind of weird battle going on or roles that are being played.... like, so many gay men give me flack for not wanting to do anything anal because they expect me to take on one of these roles.... or worse yet: they assume that just because i'm young, skinny and smooth that i'm a bottom by nature.... what's up with that???

 

[concupisys]

@Mateo888: way to represent the t-dot!!!! forest hill guy here....

@n52b30: i totally respect your preferences, but there is just no way i could grasp them in my world.... it's a sexual mentality i simply don't identify with.... as a plus for you, you are lucky to have more common sexual preferences.... having to explain mine to a culture of people who just don't get it is a very frustrating thing....

 

[hungboy18]

I'm a bottom, I just feel that way, would I able to perform as a top, yeah, but do I imagine myself being a top? not really, I just like it better that way and I've felt this way since I realized I was gay and started watching porn, it's also a personality thing, but it doesn't mean I'm just there dead, as a bottom you can do a lot of the work, it's not an easy task!