Rejection

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dongalong, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,299
    Likes Received:
    1,696
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    I have developped a thick skin over the years but being rejected can still hurt. I'd like to get over it, when it happens as quickly as possible and remove the negative, self doubting thoughts from my head.

    What are your techniques for dealing with rejection?
     
  2. D_Garmanswait Glassnads

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2007
    Messages:
    687
    Likes Received:
    2
    Never been rejected in a relationship, never been accepted either...

    But I feel it in general day to day things, it often takes me to tell myself off for being stupid but it takes alot to convince myself. Often dwelling on it is the only thing you can do untill it passes.
     
  3. Big Dreamer

    Big Dreamer New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Although rejection can totally suck ass, I have a way of dealing with it that helps lessen the blow, for me anyways. Instead of thinking of it as being rejected, look at it as a lack of compatibility between you and the other person in question. I've read enough of your posts to see that you have lots of good qualities, and being different from someone else doesn't make you a lesser person.

    If all else fails, grab a bottle of lube, drop the trousers, and stare at your avatar until the pain goes away!!
     
  4. lizardessqueen

    lizardessqueen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    25
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Overland Park, KS
    It's one of those things you have to take and move on... If they don't want you, why would you want to force them to want you and be with you. No one should put themselves through the torture of trying to harness something that won't willfully come to them. If they can't see all of the wonderful things that make you you... then they must have a warped view of the world. :) I know it's difficult, but it's something you just learn to take with a grain of salt... or a salt lick and a shot of tequila ;)
     
  5. rubberwilli

    rubberwilli Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago, IL USA
    Depends on what kind of rejection we are talking about...

    Relationship rejection...IE: Q:Would you like to go out on a date? A:No.
    Sexual Rejection... IE: Q: You want to fuck around? A: No.

    Then there is the more aggressive version of each which answers a resounding, "FUCK NO! What were you thinking in asking me? Ew! As If?!"

    In relationship rejection I just move on, there are many more fish in the sea. In sexual rejection, I tend to get a little more worked up over it, but it passes very shortly afterwards.

    If it's the more aggressive rejection I tend to get my feelings hurt a bit, but find a way to move on.

    Friends are always a great people to turn to in certain situations. That's what they are there for...the good and the bad...
     
  6. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,299
    Likes Received:
    1,696
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    LOL!!!:biggrin1:
    Great solution!!! It does seem to have worked!!!:smile:
    I haven't been rejected in real life but a virtual rejection started me thinking about it today!
     
  7. Adrian69702006

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,348
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lincoln (GB)
    Rejection can certainly be painful but I think it's important to remember that it's about who a specific individual has chosen to relate (or rather nor relate) to you, and keep in mind the fact that you are a unique, very special individual with a contribution to make and who's cherished and valued by your friends, the people who really matter. I recently experienced a family bereavement and it was hard to bear as bereavements are. However. along with the experience of loss I was amazed to discover just how many good friends I have got - and I'm sure you have too.
     
  8. glenroebuck

    glenroebuck New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    easy - just don't care -- i get laid all the time because I don't care if I get turned down...if you don't like me fine - the next guy will or the next...and anyone nice enough to express interest in me gets atleast a thank you...possibly a blow job but at least a thank you
     
  9. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,474
    Likes Received:
    4
    rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac- "forbidden love" by madonna.
     
  10. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Messages:
    3,365
    Likes Received:
    6
    You can only dwell on how much of the rejection in which you had control. If you feel like you were doing things right and that you were being a nice person and you were exercising all of the good qualities that draw people to you to begin with, then you just have to chalk it up as the other person's loss. The challenge in dealing with rejection is not to internalize the fucked-up ideas and perceptions that the rejecting party will make and put upon you. That's their boost; they put you down. Your strength is in keeping your feet firmly planted.

    I think the one thing that gets me down sometimes is that I hear that I'm not someone's "type," whatever the hell that means. Is it my skin color? My hair style? The fact that I'm not an Aberzombie, wot? That's a cop-out of the worst kind and I refuse to dignify that with a response, other than look how much dick in my pants you're missing, ya cunt.
     
  11. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2006
    Messages:
    806
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    As mentioned above, in the middle, between the eas
    In my youth I had some issues about rejection. as an adult I realize that it was simply a matter of allowing others have power of approval over me and a lack of proportion in my own esitmate of the importance I assigned to the opinions of others. As an adult I realize that the only person I actually live to satisfy is myself. I am happy to share my time with good company. I am delighted to provide for and nurture my daughters. i can truly live without the negative input from rogues. They can kiss my butt. This includes romantic rejection. They are just making decisions that will best fit their life plans. If I'm not part of that, or if I have to be somebody or something else to fit then it's time to go.
     
  12. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,299
    Likes Received:
    1,696
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    Cool attitude Dee!!!! :cool: Respec'
     
  13. EagleCowboy

    EagleCowboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    1,031
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    135
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    TEXAS
    Look at it this way: When they reject you for whatever reason, they have actually done you a *HUGE* favor. They have done your job of weeding themselves out of your dating pool which means--

    It's one less psychopath you don't have to put up with!!
    (plus they were problably a bad fuck anyway!!)

    So rest easy!!
    :)~
     
  14. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    I used to worry about rejection a lot when I was younger. That seems odd in restrospect - I seldom was rejected, but then, I almost never put myself in a position to be rejected. I was very shy and even antisocial at times.

    I've been rejected a lot in the last few years, but also accepted a lot. And discovered along the way that rejection ab initio is never as bad as I had imagined it would be.
     
  15. 36DD

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,790
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    I try to remember that life is too short to spend my time feeling bad, but it still is hard. If you are being rejected by people who for some reason don't approve of you just try to remember they don't walk in your shoes, and at the end of the day what counts is that you can live with who you are. If it's rejection on a more romantic level, just be good to yourself and be patient...never give up hope that you will be happy again, and never change who you really are for anyone.
     
  16. yhtang

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,565
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South East Asia
    Hear, hear. I would rather know it sooner than later. And the dating game is expensive, both financially and emotionally - I would rather cut my losses.

    I have rejected and had been rejected a few times, so now I take it in my stride. But I must say I found the song to be true - "First Cut is the Deepest." I think it was by Rod Steward.
     
  17. hypolimnas

    hypolimnas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2006
    Messages:
    1,219
    Likes Received:
    374
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Penisland


    Cat Stevens 1967, but then a hit for several later on including Rod.

    I think its a great song, standard in my repertoire these days.

    The First Cut Is the Deepest - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
  18. Whopper-lee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,602
    Albums:
    9
    Likes Received:
    79
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA - Southern boy
    *********************
    I jack myself off and take a pozac or paxil... and move on to new business
    of the day.:biggrin1:
    Be Safe, Be Careful, & Enjoy!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted