Relationship advice please.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by TheyKeepDoingIt, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. TheyKeepDoingIt

    TheyKeepDoingIt New Member

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    So I have a girlfriend, supposedly.

    We've been in and out of a relationship for months, she's so volatile.


    She never starts something like a conversation or an idea to do something etc, she always expects me to initiate -everything-.

    She craves attention, compliments and looks from every guy, every guy in existence. She is so insecure about her appearance, she freaks about weight as well. She's a model, she's underweight but flawless and attractive to everybody.

    Yet she's so explosive if someone says a word against her, she's so insecure about her appearance and weight that she really really needs attention and flirting from every living man on the planet to reassure her or something.

    I'm very well hung, nearly 9 inches in length and 6.5 around, yes i'm aware of how rare that is. Yes, i can see I have no verification or photos. No i do not need or want to. My point is i'm not unable to please her, she can handle it (somehow) and we have great sex. She loves me but at the same time shes really weird.

    She argues, she cannot accept anything but her own opinion, and she freaks out at me so so often over anything. I don't call her one night, she's mad. I don't call her cos I think she's sleeping at 2am, she's mad. I don't come up with some epic loving poetry each day, she's furious.

    She calls me all sorts of insults, says i'm not a man cos I apparently don't show enough emotion or I don't become her doormat. Insults me and calls me a loser and all this other immature and incorrect garbage, just because she wants to feel she's winning an arguement or something?

    God knows.

    I just don't know what to do, I love her but she is so crazy and volatile and insecure and needy etc it just drains me entirely. If i'm not right next to her, the whole world seems to collapse.

    What should I do, keep going and hope that she grows up? (Shes 19, i'm 22) or should I just end it and cease contact?

    As of today she's actually flamed me for only calling her once last night at 2am (she didnt pick up), assuming she was asleep and going to sleep myself. And has insulted me for basically nothing, then stormed off out with her friends. I'm stuck at home busy.

    Any advice would be nice, I don't know what to do about her. As usual I blame her age, and assume when she grows up another 1-2-3 years she will suddenly become a normal sane person. But i've been wrong before.

    What

    do

    i

    do?!
     
  2. srk515

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    You have just defined "bitch".
     
  3. TheyKeepDoingIt

    TheyKeepDoingIt New Member

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    See I know this, yet I can't just drop her and be like LOL YOU'RE FUCKIN MENTAL AND NEED TO GROW UP.

    Not yet anyway :/

    Is it really that simple? She's just a complete prick?
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    Wow. Do you fight every day?

    Other than the sex, are you happy when you spend time with her? What do you love about her?

    You've described her as being extremely high maintenance and short tempered. She sounds like she's difficult to get along with.

    She probably will grow up over the next few years, but I don't know if she'll become "sane" or not. That doesn't mean that you should wait for that to happen though.

    I'm always loathe to tell people that they should break up. It's such a big decision and as a person on the internet I don't feel like that kind of major decision should be one that me as a total stranger should give to another person, especially since an angry person will write an angry post that might not tell the whole story, not that you even could on a forum, but I will say that your OP makes it sound like you're miserable. So I suppose I want to ask you, are you miserable? If you're miserable, why would you want to stay with her?
     
    #4 petite, Jan 3, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012
  5. pcghabsy

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    Sounds like a very self-centered person. If you feel so uncomfortable you should get down to it and talk it out with her. If she doesn't intend on listening then this is not a relationship worth sustaining. Don't assume that she will change in 5 years. There are many men who are attracted to self-centered women and you are clearly not one of them - from what I can tell the both of you aren't very compatible at all. How long have you been dating? I hope not too many months. It sounds like a largely painful experience based on your post.

    I once dated an extremely insecure, paranoid and selfish girl - it lasted all of 10 days. Why I ever went on a single date with her remains a puzzle to me. My experience was similar to yours - although thankfully much short lived.
     
    #5 pcghabsy, Jan 3, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012
  6. NoH8

    NoH8 Member

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    She might love you but other issues are getting in the way of her expressing this to you. At 19 this is her prime time in the modelling biz and she must be under a lot of pressure. Models all suffer from low self esteem at one time or another. She sounds like she needs you to constantly reinforce her value as a person. As an adult she will learn that she has to do this for herself, not rely on the varying opinions of others. This could be what you are hoping for "when she grows up".

    The mood swings may be a result of poor diet or lack of sleep which are indicated in your post. Is she doing drugs or alcohol or anything like bulimia to stay slim? This will influence her moods. She could also have a mental condition called Borderline Personality Disorder. It affects up to 7% of the population and is more common in women than men.

    Don't expect to solve these problems by yourself. If you love her try to help her get help if she has any of the above issues. If she won't get help and blames you instead you are better off leaving her. Good luck.
     
    #6 NoH8, Jan 3, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012
  7. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    she's grossly immature and everything is about her. she doesn't give a shit about you, only about what you can do for her. bet she doesn't do shit for you, does she??? like a backrub, hand job, blow job??? and if she is panicking about her weight now, she knows that the clock is ticking. look at her mom or older sister(s) if she has them, and look at their figures, lots of gals change significantly late teens to early 20's. some for the good and some get FAT. my wife at age 19 was small boobs, butt, great legs, by 21 she was DDs, an hour glass shape, still great ass & legs, only about 10 lbs heavier. anyway, time to have a little talk, if she'll listen with out going ballistic and unreasonable and move on from there. if she doesn't want to listen to what you have to say, time to move on. lots of fish in the sea. don't burn your bridges behind you, she might look you up in a couple yrs.
     
  8. Stephenmass

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    To me it sounds as if she wants to literally control your every move. You do this, she's not happy, you don't do it, she's not happy, etc. You can't win. Some people, because they cannot direct criticism towards themselves direct it at those closest to them. To make themselves feel better, they have to knock down someone else, in this case you. If you are miserable, I say get out now before it gets even more difficult. If it's "meant to be" you two will get back together in the future. If it's not meant to be, and I don't think it is, then you won't. If she is not the center of attention she is miserable. Let her go. If you or her go back to each other in a few years then who knows? Do you really want to be her verbal battering ram indefinitely? I didn't think so.
     
  9. maxuncut

    maxuncut New Member

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    Bah. It really is that simple.

    Save yourself the grief of dealing with this one and move on.

    She won't change, things won't change, and you are just delaying getting over her and moving on to someone you can have a productive relationship with.

    It sucks, but you will thank yourself later.

    That of course assumes it is all her ....
     
  10. maxuncut

    maxuncut New Member

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    And I would seriously spend some time dealing with the bold portion above....that may unlock the key to what you are dealing with.
     
  11. 1Cody

    1Cody Active Member

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    She needs to eat a good meal, it sounds like she is deficient in the Bcomplex vitamins. The same thing can happen to a heavy drinker! In fact, one of the first things they do for a heavy drinker needing medical intervention is a b complex injection. Good luck and this sounds like it is all related to her dietary (or lack of) habits.
     
  12. helgaleena

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    If she won't take 1Cody's advice, it's time to face facts. her unhealthy self-image and emotional instability are not worth your happiness.
     
  13. TheyKeepDoingIt

    TheyKeepDoingIt New Member

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    Yes. [Edit] That was a lie, not everyday but maybe every 3-4 days we have a meltdown, caused by her of course.

    Since August 2011. Yes, miserably to be honest.

    She eats like a mental patient, she's diagnosed with anorexia and refuses to eat meat or even eat correctly. She doesn't sleep much as she has to wake at 5am or 7am daily, and goes to bed between midnight and 2am.

    No, she doesn't.

    This is what she does yeah.

    This is what she's like.

    Almost definitely.


    So, what the hell do i do? If I try to discuss it with her, tell her that she is very volatile and that her sleep/eating habits are the likely cause - she'll explode and trash me for not liking her personality.

    This is a bad joke, what am i meant to do?
     
  14. avatarng

    avatarng Member

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    Dump her and get on with your world.
     
  15. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    She's not happy about herself, and she's trying to suck all the happiness out of you. Don't let her. Tell her that she has to stop trying to control you, or that this thing between the two of you will end. A relationship goes both ways. It's giving and taking. She's only taking. The world does not revolve around her.
    Make her see that.

    If she doesn't, she's not worth your time and will not bring you happiness.
    If she does, and she's willing to change, help her.
    By assuring her about herself (but not every other second), make her see you think she's beautiful, learn her to make her own decisions (if she's a doubter, a lot of insecure women are...),... Little things, little steps, it will take a long long time. But if she recognizes her problem, she may well be worth it, and at one point bring lots of joy in your life :)
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    You haven't said anything positive about her other than she's beautiful and she can take your big penis. Why are you questioning what you should do? What do you like about her? What are the reasons why you would want to stay with her?

    What I'm trying to say is, from the sound of your two posts, there's no reason why you should be with her, but you're asking us for advice, so clearly it's something you're struggling with. The problem is that you haven't told us any of the reasons why you would be struggling with this choice, so it really doesn't make complete sense to me.
     
    #16 petite, Jan 3, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012
  17. tlbuncut5

    tlbuncut5 New Member

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    Do your self a big favor and RUN.....as fast as you can. There a lot of women out there that would love to be with a man like you. They would appreciate you and be kind. Just my two cents.

    Wes
     
  18. helgaleena

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    Yes, listen to petite. Is she paying your bills? Anorexia is a neurosis based upon deep-seated control issues. Control games are on all levels here. Decide whether these games are worth staying.
     
  19. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    sounds like you're trying to date someone who is strictly fuck buddy material, you can't let a psycho mess your happiness up dude, i would drop her ASAP if i were you
     
  20. TheyKeepDoingIt

    TheyKeepDoingIt New Member

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    I have to think and spew cheesy bullshit to answer that if she ever asks.

    The fact is she doesnt make me happy, and even in bed i'm not happy, because shes a role-play freak, and thinks daddy/daughter stuff and brother/sister stuff is a major turn on for 99% of guys and thinks im a freak because i'm not into it. I play along anyway, but i dont enjoy it.

    I honestly cannot answer that.

    I love her because I understood her before, and because shes so attractive, and I enjoyed being around her and loving her. I have no idea what else there is to it, as things have just plummetted and I don't know what to do about her.


    She's just so one sided :S She's so arrogant, thinks shes so fucking amazing that everyone is lucky to know her, and everyone should slave for her and she doesnt have to return anything. At the same time, she's so insecure that she's miserable and paranoid about it all.
    Wtf is that?
     
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