I am looking for advice from those in a long term relationship. How do you keep sex exciting and less predictable? I have been with my partner for 15 years at the end of this month, and I still love him very much. But I feel our sex life has become to predictable and routine. For the first few years, whenever we were horny we were at it! As time went on and work and life got in the way it slowed down compared to the early days, however it was still 4-5 times a week!
After 5 years together we wanted to spice things up a bit and spoke about fantasies! I was more experienced than my hubby when we met, he had been in a long term relationship and had a couple of threesomes before me but not really experienced sleeping with other. We decided we wanted to try opening things up and trying new things and experimenting with kinks. This worked well and we had quite a few threesomes and went to saunas and sex clubs and had a lot of fun with others joining us. However we had started to neglect ourselves and making time for fun just the two of us - and were always looking for someone to join us for fun and were constantly on the apps looking. That created some friction between us and we weren’t in the right place to keep playing with others if we were not prioritising ourselves.
We decided due to a few things going on in life and where we felt at that time, we would stop playing with others, but we could review if we wanted to bring a third back in. During this time we reconnected with each other and the sex got better and increased in frequency and brought new toys and it became more exciting and fun again!
More recently we still have sex but not as frequently as we were and it’s usually once a week. It’s become more routine and almost scheduled (not that it’s intended to be that way)! I also think we end up with less variety of what we do and miss the spontaneity of our sex life.
I have discussed this with my other half a few times and suggested trying to vary things but we sort of seem to get a rut. I am more into kinks but that’s not something my other half is into as I would love to explore that more but get it’s not as much for him. I am wondering if we should considering opening up the idea of having a third join us again?
What advice do others in long term relationships have? How have others managed to maintain the frequency and not make it feel scheduled and routine?
After 5 years together we wanted to spice things up a bit and spoke about fantasies! I was more experienced than my hubby when we met, he had been in a long term relationship and had a couple of threesomes before me but not really experienced sleeping with other. We decided we wanted to try opening things up and trying new things and experimenting with kinks. This worked well and we had quite a few threesomes and went to saunas and sex clubs and had a lot of fun with others joining us. However we had started to neglect ourselves and making time for fun just the two of us - and were always looking for someone to join us for fun and were constantly on the apps looking. That created some friction between us and we weren’t in the right place to keep playing with others if we were not prioritising ourselves.
We decided due to a few things going on in life and where we felt at that time, we would stop playing with others, but we could review if we wanted to bring a third back in. During this time we reconnected with each other and the sex got better and increased in frequency and brought new toys and it became more exciting and fun again!
More recently we still have sex but not as frequently as we were and it’s usually once a week. It’s become more routine and almost scheduled (not that it’s intended to be that way)! I also think we end up with less variety of what we do and miss the spontaneity of our sex life.
I have discussed this with my other half a few times and suggested trying to vary things but we sort of seem to get a rut. I am more into kinks but that’s not something my other half is into as I would love to explore that more but get it’s not as much for him. I am wondering if we should considering opening up the idea of having a third join us again?
What advice do others in long term relationships have? How have others managed to maintain the frequency and not make it feel scheduled and routine?
