she went to college

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by thelastoneever2000, Aug 22, 2004.

  1. thelastoneever2000

    thelastoneever2000 New Member

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    AH, my girlfriend just started college friday, and Im sitting here at home, wondering whats going to happen. I dont start college until sept 10th, and well be 4 hours apart. I really love her and I know she loves me, but I have been having major anxiety/depression issues because of this. Im split really. Half of the time I want to stay with her for a long time (maybe forever) as weve been going out for 2 years and my parents love her, and I love her and just everything has been great. But then the other half thinks maybe i need to start something new when i go to college, because i will only get to see her like once every 2 weeks, if even that. It wouldnt be because she did anything wrong, but it would be something to help the stress that we both may be feeling.

    I feel like I have already made things worse and possibly already put the inevitable into motion by trying to talk to her about this, and it came out REALLY bad. I just dont know what to do. Like I said, half of me is ready to see what other ladies are like, but the other half wants to stay with her.

    My mentality has been killing me lately because of this stuff though. Its like an emotional rollercoaster. Ill alternate once or twice a day, thinking "Man, I know ill be with her forever" to "wow I need to end this now" and its really taking a toll. Im already somewhat saddend by the fact that all of my friends are going to the same school that she is. I went to go help her move in, and all of my closest friends now get to virtually LIVE with eachother, which I know could be really bad if something went wrong, but just seems like it would be so much fun.

    So its me and 2 other friends of mine left in Jacksonville because virtually EVERY student from our school goes to UF. im gonna be bored for the next 2-3 weeks. and i wont be able to think about anything but her.

    well my mom put it best "if things are meant to be, theyll work out in accordance"

    race
     
  2. naughty

    Gold Member

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    Hi Last one ever,

    No meaning to sound calloused but listen to your mom. There are so many unknowns here. The reality whether most of us like it or not is that 99% of hte people we date are not going to be "the one". Who knows, she might be that 1% but then she might not be. Relax you are about to enjoy a new stage in your life with many adjustments. Dont make any promises or bnd her to any that you both may not be able to keep. Enjoy this time and this age. It will never come again. Good luck at school too.

    Naughty
     
  3. Ineligible

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    I agree with naughty, but I know how stressful this must be for you, Race.

    Personally, I don't think there's any way she'd find anyone else like you.
     
  4. Steve26

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    Hi, Race -- I'm 30 now but went through the exact same thing when my HS GF went away to college. I was a year younger than she was, so still stuck in HS ... even worse than your situation, IMHO. We'd been together for about 1.5 years at that point, so the whole situation was pretty devastating for me.

    Your mom is right ... if you and your GF are meant to be, you'll find your way back to each other again. In the meantime, regardless of your dating status, I think you just need to throw yourself into life at your new school. Naughty is right; you're entering a very exciting time of your life and you should really enjoy it to the fullest. Don't just sit around pining away for your distant GF ... while you may feel like that's the appropriate way to show your ongoing devotion, that type of behavior helps nothing and nobody.

    Not to belittle what you've shared with your GF over the past two years, but I think you're very right to be thinking about seeing other girls. It makes a lot of sense to see what else is out there and how you enjoy spending time with other women before you commit to spending the rest of your life with your current GF. While it's wonderful when it works out that people who were HS sweethearts end up together, I think it's not ideal to date only one person in your life. You might be happy with that person, but without having spent time with anyone else, how can you really know? You have no basis for any type of comparison.

    I know from experience how hard what you're going through can be on a guy, and I'd be happy to talk with you further if you'd like ... my IM contact info is in my LPSG profile, if you're interested. Good luck!

    ~ Steve ;)
     
  5. thelastoneever2000

    thelastoneever2000 New Member

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    thank you all for your responses. Ive talked with my mom again about this stuff, and shes made me feel much better. i just told her what my options were/are, and theyre to a) keep going, b)to stay confused, or c) to end it. she didnt like the fact that it was so black and white for me, but she told me that she had never heard of any other highschool couple like me and my girlfriend before, and that most adults never find love like the kind we share. she said she honestly thinks that were "soul mates". i know that she has a bias to say things like that since she is my mom, but it also means a great deal to me when my mom, who for the most part doesnt talk to me about girls, tells me this kind of thing in the midst of some of the more unhappy times of my life. I reached a conclusion for the most part: why stop? breaking up with her would not make me any happier, in fact, it would only make me feel worse. I think that its a large problem with me being at home doing nothing for a couple more weeks, and she gets to go to school. I think the ill feelings will subside majorly when I start school, but for now, i seem to have found happiness once again. If we grow apart in college, thats what will happen, and its beyond our control, but for now, we still love eachother, and I would rather see her every little bit and be happy, then never see her again, and not wonder what lies ahead.
     
  6. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    You've made a wise decision, I think, thelastoneever200, aka race. I want to congratulate you for seriously considering your situation and asking for advice from Mom as well as us.

    Continue keeping the channels of communication open in your life and profit from others' experiences. I predict a successful future for you and since true love is there between you and your g/f, I don't think I'll be disappointed.

    Luke
     
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