Starter drink?

[BigDallasDick8x6]

I think ur approaching this from the wrong end.

A) you need to back the cart AND the horse up about 50 miles and work on getting some social skills , or just socializing period, b4 u add alcohol to that fire.

B) I've known plenty of people who just get stupid and annoying when they drink, even if it's only a little.

C) alcohol isn't a magic bullet that's going to create a vibrant social life for you. regardless of what advertising would lead you to believe.

D) and anyway isn't being dependent on alcohol to mitigate social situations, part of the clinical diagnosis of alcoholism?

it's not a good path to put urself on.

Took the words right out of my mouth!

I don't think you used the word "shy." Are you shy?? If so, admitting it and calling it that is the first step to getting over it. There are a surprising number of books out there. The only one I know by name is "Help for Shy People." I flipped some chapters in it and the basic premise was that shy people are clinging to some old notions from their childhood and it addressed each one chapter by chapter. One was "Don't Talk to Strangers." How many times were you told that? Well now is the time to get over it and go out and talk to strangers. Another one was "Prom Queen / King Syndrome." It was about people who waited for everyone else to come up to them first. Don't do that. Can't remember the others but look this book up. I think I saw it at Half Price Books so it might not even be in print anymore. Try a library also.

There are also books for salesmen and other types that probably have some applicability here. One was a Book of the Month club selection a long time ago "How to Work a Room." You would at least have a PLAN going in to a social situation which hopefully would make you more self confident.

There is also the classic (from the 40's?) "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Finally -- practice, practice, practice. You never get good at something you don't do a lot of. So you have to practice. If you are afraid of making a fool of yourself, then your first couple times try talking to people on vacation in another city where you will never see them again. That way you won't worry so much about a bad first impression.

Some people (many of whom aren't shy) have a reason for other people to come up and talk to them. Like a t-shirt with something written on it. A name of a band, a great quote, etc. That gives people a reason to approach you. You can also turn that around and approach people wearing a t-shirt that says something you can relate to as well.

I have to meet someone for lunch or I could go on for hours. I just think being shy is a terrible waste. It's ok to be in introvert. It isn't ok to be a hermit. Low quality of life and not emotionally healthy.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

long island iced teas.

For some, this would be the Gateway To Hell.
Too smooth, too easily swallowed. If you're not already a drinker, and you're feeling anxious ... ooh, watch out.
But if I ever meet you, Snoozie, we'll have an evening of them.

Campari and soda!

An acquired taste.
I remember a situation back when I was working in a holiday resort in the Canadian Rockies.
A guest from California called me up to his room and gave me several shots of Campari.
(This is no prelude to debauchery. Across the room, his snoring wife was noisily asleep.)
I liked it but thought it was nothing special.
He gave me a bottle, though, and I and the night auditor used it to make Campari floats.
Don't say yuck. They were actually great.
Didn't get much work done, though.

Guinness is good because it's filling, doesn't give you a hangover, and doesn't creep the way beer can. Many beers you can drink quite a few of without realizing it and then suddenly find yourself way too drunk.

Guinness is my preferred beer, for many of the reasons you cite, Jason.
(But I like the flavor, myself. Like campari, an acquired taste, of course.)

I think the OP must have a pretty pronounced case of social anxiety.
Alcohol, in moderation, might help.
But he probably should talk to a professional.
Treatments for social anxiety are much better than they used to be. Some of the current antidepressants (Paxil, for example), are supposed to work well. Ditto for some beta blockers.
If you're a complete newcomer to alcohol and intend to use it to ease anxiety ... that could be a recipe for drunken disaster.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Why not start with a wine spritzer of sorts at home? Something softer and easier on the system. White wine, maybe a Spanish varietal like Verdejo.

For me wine has always been condusive to relaxed conversation, around a table of friends at a restruant. I'm just sayin'.

 

[Roscoz]

I drink, spirits, wine & beer but hey i'm Scottish so its in my blood

 

[Not_Punny]

Move to California and get yourself a medical marijuana card. :tongue: Seriously, try pot to mellow out. (I don't but almost everyone I know does.)

Stay away from hard liquor -- unsafe to drive and makes you sick.

 

[2322]

The point with recommending Guinness was to suggest something that you can sip, tastes good (it does), and very particularly, won't make you any more drunk than you think you are. When you put down the glass, you know in a few seconds if it has done anything and you won't get any more wasted than you should because it's not a drink you want to chug nor do you lose the alcoholic flavor so it reminds you that you're drinking.

I do support what thadjock said. If you do have a difficult time meeting people, then there are a few good books for it. I also second Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. It's an ancient book but has opened doors for millions of people all over the world. It's short and sweet and simple and really works. While some of the concepts are obvious, the techniques themselves aren't necessarily. You might kick yourself thinking how obvious it all is until you try following the book and realize that, for whatever reason, Carnegie is right on the money.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Fuzzy Navel is a good starter drink. Peach Schnapps and orange juice, 'bout half and half, to your taste. It's light enough to give you that little buzz for liquid courage but not so heavy that you'll be overwhelmed by the intoxication.

Yummy! I could see you and i having a good night on them :yup:

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

having a glass of wine is always a good way to loosen up without getting too hammered. if you're not feeling the wine, then have a beer. go with something imported though, i personally think american beers taste gross.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

Move to California and get yourself a medical marijuana card. :tongue: Seriously, try pot to mellow out. (I don't but almost everyone I know does.)

Stay away from hard liquor -- unsafe to drive and makes you sick.

i am probably the only person in CA who doesn't have a medical marijuana card lol. i should really get one though!

 

[Not_Punny]

having a glass of wine is always a good way to loosen up without getting too hammered. if you're not feeling the wine, then have a beer. go with something imported though, i personally think american beers taste gross.

Yep, you gotta get that card!! I'm sure some of the posts at LPSG give you a headache. so you probably have a really good reason to tell the doctor to get the card!

On the beer, American mass-market beers are awwwwwful. However, the craft beers are excellent. I'm currently a HUGE fan of blueberry or banana hefeweizen beer.

Hefeweizens are wheat beers; they almost always have a fruit flavor. Who needs dessert when you have one of these?!

 

[BlackIsKingSize]

I think ur approaching this from the wrong end.

A) you need to back the cart AND the horse up about 50 miles and work on getting some social skills , or just socializing period, b4 u add alcohol to that fire.

B) I've known plenty of people who just get stupid and annoying when they drink, even if it's only a little.

C) alcohol isn't a magic bullet that's going to create a vibrant social life for you. regardless of what advertising would lead you to believe.

D) and anyway isn't being dependent on alcohol to mitigate social situations, part of the clinical diagnosis of alcoholism?

it's not a good path to put urself on.

Took the words right out of my mouth!

I don't think you used the word "shy." Are you shy?? If so, admitting it and calling it that is the first step to getting over it. There are a surprising number of books out there. The only one I know by name is "Help for Shy People." I flipped some chapters in it and the basic premise was that shy people are clinging to some old notions from their childhood and it addressed each one chapter by chapter. One was "Don't Talk to Strangers." How many times were you told that? Well now is the time to get over it and go out and talk to strangers. Another one was "Prom Queen / King Syndrome." It was about people who waited for everyone else to come up to them first. Don't do that. Can't remember the others but look this book up. I think I saw it at Half Price Books so it might not even be in print anymore. Try a library also.

There are also books for salesmen and other types that probably have some applicability here. One was a Book of the Month club selection a long time ago "How to Work a Room." You would at least have a PLAN going in to a social situation which hopefully would make you more self confident.

There is also the classic (from the 40's?) "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Finally -- practice, practice, practice. You never get good at something you don't do a lot of. So you have to practice. If you are afraid of making a fool of yourself, then your first couple times try talking to people on vacation in another city where you will never see them again. That way you won't worry so much about a bad first impression.

Some people (many of whom aren't shy) have a reason for other people to come up and talk to them. Like a t-shirt with something written on it. A name of a band, a great quote, etc. That gives people a reason to approach you. You can also turn that around and approach people wearing a t-shirt that says something you can relate to as well.

I have to meet someone for lunch or I could go on for hours. I just think being shy is a terrible waste. It's ok to be in introvert. It isn't ok to be a hermit. Low quality of life and not emotionally healthy.

I think the OP must have a pretty pronounced case of social anxiety.
Alcohol, in moderation, might help.
But he probably should talk to a professional.
Treatments for social anxiety are much better than they used to be. Some of the current antidepressants (Paxil, for example), are supposed to work well. Ditto for some beta blockers.
If you're a complete newcomer to alcohol and intend to use it to ease anxiety ... that could be a recipe for drunken disaster.

Basically I do okay with talking to people and making friends when I can get myself to open up. I'm usually fine in one-on-one conversations and such. But in groups of people that I don't know I just clam up. I feel like I have nothing interesting to say so I don't say anything. And I feel like by being there I'm getting hte way of everybody else's good time. So yeah pretty sure I have social anxiety as well as general depression and low self-esteem. I just figure a little bit of tipsiness might be enough to shut up the little voice in my head that gets in the way of me just being comfortable in social settings.

 

[thadjock]

So yeah pretty sure I have social anxiety as well as general depression and low self-esteem. I just figure a little bit of tipsiness might be enough to shut up the little voice in my head that gets in the way of me just being comfortable in social settings.

dude, seriously

depression + alcohol = suicide

GET PROFESSIONAL HELP

alcohol is the LAST thing you should be drinking, it is a depressant.

 

[invisibleman]

Campari and soda!

I agree. Campari and soda. Then, Bocci Balls. Caipirinhas. Mojitos.

 

[jjsjr]

I'd go for the wine... for beginners (maybe not)

But its quite low in alcohol content and you can easily control the intake because the bartender can't make it stronger.