staying hard during sex?

[D_Geaffartson_Glandhammer]

hey guys, just wanted to ask this question to know what people think.

i'm a young guy (younger than 21) and i noticed i have a problem staying hard when the sex goes for a long time (20+ minutes). i have no problem getting hard at the start, or even by myself watching porn or anything. getting "up" is never an issue. but when i stop myself from cumming early (slow down for a bit during sex), i find it hard to get going again. i don't go completely limp but it's definitely noticeably softer and somewhat embarrassing. it even got so bad once that i had to act like i came in the condom to end the sex when in reality i just couldn't get hard. what's the problem?

 

[umami_tsunami]

Dude, You better fix that shit now or by the time you're 40, it will be like trying to stuff a marshmallow into a piggybank.

 

[Riven650]

There is absolutely nothing physically wrong with you. But worrying about it will definitely make it worse.

Feeling the need to lie to your girl tells me that you are suffering from performance anxiety. You need to know that 20 mins a long time for any guy to remain properly hard. Most guys don't last anything like as long, so relax and enjoy it, but for goodness' sake communicate honestly with your girl - it's the only way to break out of worrying about how it is for her.

 

[Richard Lottery]

Don't think about it , or if you do you need to find something attractive on the person your fucking that makes you hard...i remember one time i was going soft for some reason i had my fuck buddy turn her ass around so i could massage and smack it and in less than 20/30 seconds i was back in the game

 

[Bbucko]

I've always been an up-and-down kinda guy; it helps keep my dick sensitive during marathon edging sessions. The one time someone gave me a Levitra, I stayed rock hard but became pretty much desensitized after three hours. I wound up ending the encounter while I was still erect because I knew I'd never cum (he was worn out, too). It's a natural thing to go up and down, and at least for me staying rock-hard indefinitely is very unnatural.

Another thing I've developed over the years is a need to "up the ante" so to speak. Sometimes I can do this with thoughts or spoken words, but usually it requires a more intense physical sensation. Sometimes switching positions works, but I have a really extensive menu of sexual pleasures and I have no problem exploring other people's limits right up to the line.

I also enjoy taking breaks about every 45-60 minutes. Among other benefits, breaks allow for better communication between partners.

 

[ShannonH]

There's nothing wrong with just taking a short break and coming back to it in a bit. Once it starts to not feel as good, it's easy to get out of the proper headspace, and trying to force it will only make it worse.

 

[blacklegend]

It sounds like you are getting bored, but also you are expecting too much of yourself. You now know that you can fuck for about 20 mins, so just make it a good 20 mins and mix it up, by switching positions, getting her to suck your cock, going down on her, etc.
Don't start worrying or you'll become a bag of nerves. You are normal, so just enjoy being young and reckless and don't go about making rash promises to women about all night sex!

 

[sleepiboi]

It sounds like you are getting bored, but also you are expecting too much of yourself. You now know that you can fuck for about 20 mins, so just make it a good 20 mins and mix it up, by switching positions, getting her to suck your cock, going down on her, etc.
Don't start worrying or you'll become a bag of nerves. You are normal, so just enjoy being young and reckless and don't go about making rash promises to women about all night sex!

ya, that happened to me the last few times. you get bored or start thinking about other things during sex that takes ur mind off of things. just enjoy yourself, be into it and things will be ok

 

[barbequebarbeque]

I'm going to avoid repeating what everyone else said, and endorse a couple things- just tell her you're starting to get soft, and ask her to go down. This usually gets me back up and ready.

Also, kegels are supposed to help. A lot of men swear by them from what I've heard

 

[269616]

That has to be tough as a young guy, and some good advise on this thread already, but I know it might be hard to ask a fellow 21 year old playmate to take a break. It sounds like you're still finding out what works best for you, so if it's better for you to cum early on, then do that. Or if you get into a good relationship, switch it up, if you want your partner to cum and it takes longer than you last. One time you cum early then make sure she cums after by eating her or playing with her. Next time, go as long as you want and if you start to get soft, have her suck you (or rim you or find other turn-ons). Again, I think it's easier on us who are a bit older and realize sex is different for everyone; I know at the young ages there can be many, many expecations and good, strong communication can be rare.

Enjoy and good luck!

 

[spitandshovelover]

This is probably more about your worry of it, than about the problem itself. It's very hard to solve though; its insidious. The more worried about it you are, the worse it gets, and the worse it gets, the more you worry.

There is some good advice here. Change positions, go oral for a while, play with your partner. do something that takes the pressure off of you staying hard and lets you concentrate on being turned on, stress free. (for me this usually means a little masturbating of my partner... fisting if they're into it).

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

It could be related to lack of libido. I had a friend who had this problem with his girlfriend and even went to the extent of getting a Cialis prescription. However, I never noticed the problem when he and I would fool around. It may be an attraction issue or maybe a gender issue you are dealing with.

 

[D_Chesty_Pecjiggle]

Try to cum by minute 15. Then it's ok if you're soft at the 20 minute mark.

 

[RawDog]

Same thing happens to me. Once the stimulation decreases, the rigidity follows. The key is to change the stimulation, not slow it down. What I do is change the strokes to be full, long flowing strokes from balls deep to almost completely extracting my dick and back to balls deep.

 

[JulieInNaplesFL]

Niagara.













Sorry, the devil made me do it. :saroll:

 

[cmlvr2]

Can I put my 2 cents in ?? I would much rather have the guy fool around a little anyway than have constant 20min straight sex.. I think most women would.. I love oral giving and getting so try that for awhile..mix things up !!!

 

[RawDog]

Sorry, the devil made me do it. :saroll:

Bad, naughty Julie

:spankme:

 

[zwalker16]

Horny Goat Weed!! I was having the same prob(22 Y/O), I am in the gym all the time and my body being tired and having to regenerate more than a average guy plus a lil performance anxiety "Wanting to plz her and putting to much pressure on myself." I started taking this supplement and give it a day or two and "WOW" i was harder, she notice it had more girth, and more confidence! The next day seeing her complain about how sore she was made my day!!!

 

[havner]

I am older than you but have basically the same scenario. 20 minutes should be enough but if it is going down, some others said, switch to oral or whip out a dildo or vibe. She will probably appreciate the change of pace and you may make a comeback.

Alternatively I use viagra if I want to have a long session. It makes it easier to keep it hard.

 

[hung]

I still have not had to resort to pills of any kind. But when I go soft I can self pleasure myself, but most of the time My Bride works me back hard by jacking my love muscle. Also, it is always fun to have her go oral on me. Of course I give her plenty of oral on request. It is a give and take situation and our sexual activity is always playful and joyous. Relax and let the good things happen. No need to worry about the time. Sometimes I get off rather quick, a few minutes. Other times we can work each other over and enjoy a 30 minute encounter.

Again, Enjoy Life.