Straight, looking to make sense of the size thing

[deleted19861241]

I've suffered a lot of abuse in my life, primarily from women and specifically including penis size.

I've gone as far as seeing an andorologist (step above a urologist) over my size issues, who confirmed I'm at the very high end of the normal range, without being 'big'.

Yet I'm constantly hammered by women about being small.

A lot of the time it's hints, indirect comments, etc that their exes were huge or they're trying to make do with my size being lacking but I've also been laughed at twice while flaccid (one in my 20s, once in my 40s), been sent home from a one night stand by a size queen in my 30s, and cheated on repeatedly by a size queen in my 40s.

I have absolutely zero belief in statistics - or more to the point my personal experience is that 'above average' is consistently regarded as small by women, so there's some sort of massive difference between statistics, vs the guys actually in the dating pool.... almost people in the top 5% sleep woth 10x as many women as average guys, and below average guys sleep with practically noone.

All of a sudden 7" becomes normal, average becomes small, and below average is rare/non-existent.

 

[deleted22016481]

Hey there, buddy. You are unfortunately been handed a bad hand in terms of partners and not your penis size. These past partners have bought a false narrative that large penis size equals quality pleasure and that can often not be the truth. As you may know it's not size so much as usage. However, sexologists, agree and even more so say that average sized penises can often be more fulfilling for a cis/bi female partner as it doesn't bypass the more erogenous areas of the vagina (ex G Spot) and the vulva and clit can be titilated more easily with a cock that isn't overly large.

I would love to introduce you to sexologists Caitlin V on YouTube as she has helped me to understand so much about this and many other subjects.

 

[Curious65]

I've suffered a lot of abuse in my life, primarily from women and specifically including penis size.

I've gone as far as seeing an andorologist (step above a urologist) over my size issues, who confirmed I'm at the very high end of the normal range, without being 'big'.

Yet I'm constantly hammered by women about being small.

A lot of the time it's hints, indirect comments, etc that their exes were huge or they're trying to make do with my size being lacking but I've also been laughed at twice while flaccid (one in my 20s, once in my 40s), been sent home from a one night stand by a size queen in my 30s, and cheated on repeatedly by a size queen in my 40s.

I have absolutely zero belief in statistics - or more to the point my personal experience is that 'above average' is consistently regarded as small by women, so there's some sort of massive difference between statistics, vs the guys actually in the dating pool.... almost people in the top 5% sleep woth 10x as many women as average guys, and below average guys sleep with practically noone.

All of a sudden 7" becomes normal, average becomes small, and below average is rare/non-existent.

Seems like you connected with a lot of shallow and inconsiderate women.

 

[deleted19861241]

I guess its two things.

1. I have trouble coping with science saying one thing and my personal experience CONTINUALLY saying the direct opposite. Women struggle just the same - my current partner kept dropping hints I was a reluctant downgrade, and you should have seen the total & complete confusion on her face when I told her that someone an inch bigger than me was something like 1-in-50, and the relief on her face when I explained my theory about statistocs vs. reality, where small dudes dont sleep around, and big dudes do, almost as if i firstly took her reality away, and then gave it back again with my theory.

Statistics are kind of irrelevant if the guys I'm bigger than hold onto the first partner that tolerates their size, or simply take themselves out of the dating pool due to societal stigma and their shame, and the 'rare' guys bigger than me sleep with 10x as many chicks as the remaining dudes do, totally shifting the curve.

Add in height preference and mild correlation to size, and chicks liking confidence meaning guys with BDE are sought after, and I think chicks are all but guaranteed to have a statistically improbable history.

2. The problem is i had sexual confidence before this became a real issue. Unlike many people who are insecure and as a result scared of or inexperienced with sex, who can learn how to please a partner other ways in order to help their insecurity and build confidence and expwrience, I always did that and AFTERWARD my body image got shattered by women... so instead of having something to gain ive had somethibg taken away.

Noone can honestly say that sizes makes zero difference, whether it is to pride, appeal, bragging rights, sensation, positions, size helps ALL of those things and many others to at least some degree and its something any woman with me will have to settle for.

Having it made repeatedly clear that I'm secretly or not-so-secretly being settled for in such an intimate way, regardless of who I'm with, has totally devastated my sexual confidence, self esteem, and even damaged my feelings of validity as a man.

Doing my best but I even had a sex therapist agree with me when I explained it that way.

 

[deleted19861241]

Seems like you connected with a lot of shallow and inconsiderate women.

Thats how I survived in the early days, just saying I was unlucky, putting it down to younger women etc and deluding myself into believing that size doesn't matter.

25 years of dating/relationships, marriage, a bit of playing the field, now in my mid 40s, with a woman in her mid 40s, still made to feel by her like I'm a disappointment.

Last woman was a Christian, 40yo. Three prior partners. She missed the end of my dick one day by a good 3-4" when going down on me, she was in momentary shock and realised I saw it. That prompted the conversation.... her ex was 6'11", his thing was off the charts, and 'i wouldnt say its small, its just smaller than the guys ive been with". Yep. All of them. Christian girl with three experiences in the 95% mark or above and one guy wjo is something like 1 in a million.

 

[BillM]

 

[RJ5on1]

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[UKGay50]

 

[Ranxerox]

Thats how I survived in the early days, just saying I was unlucky, putting it down to younger women etc and deluding myself into believing that size doesn't matter.

25 years of dating/relationships, marriage, a bit of playing the field, now in my mid 40s, with a woman in her mid 40s, still made to feel by her like I'm a disappointment.

Last woman was a Christian, 40yo. Three prior partners. She missed the end of my dick one day by a good 3-4" when going down on me, she was in momentary shock and realised I saw it. That prompted the conversation.... her ex was 6'11", his thing was off the charts, and 'i wouldnt say its small, its just smaller than the guys ive been with". Yep. All of them. Christian girl with three experiences in the 95% mark or above and one guy wjo is something like 1 in a million.

Missed the end of your dick? Not sure what this means?

Are you 7" long?

Roxx.

 

[WadWorshipper]

Welcome to the site! You will find lots of guys of every possible size here, and every viewpoint that goes with it. My opinion is that, with 7", you've had the terrible luck of meeting one woman after another who had unusual experience with huge guys and some that were downright rude. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. It's ridiculous that someone wielding 7" should be made to feel SMALL!

 

[deleted19861241]

As in she had the base in her hand, leaned over to put the head in her mouth and missed it by a good 3".

7"NBP would solve all my problems, I'm low 6s bone pressed.

Missed the end of your dick? Not sure what this means?

Are you 7" long?

Roxx

 

[deleted19861241]

Sadly not 7", sorry if that bit of my post wasnt clear. I was saying it feels like women think 7" NBP is prettymuch normal. Im low-mid 6s BP which I'd have though was average and the andrologist I saw said I'm statistically at the very high end of the 'normal' range without being at all big.

Feedback though, is that most women have rarely, if ever, seen a dick as short as mine AND THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES BUT SAY IT. Sometimes its outright ridicule or disappointment, more often it's insensitive commentary, accidental/implied negative comparisons, or backhanded compliments.

Welcome to the site! You will find lots of guys of every possible size here, and every viewpoint that goes with it. My opinion is that, with 7", you've had the terrible luck of meeting one woman after another who had unusual experience with huge guys and some that were downright rude. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. It's ridiculous that someone wielding 7" should be made to feel SMALL!

 

[igotthebigone]

Welcome

 

[Ranxerox]

As in she had the base in her hand, leaned over to put the head in her mouth and missed it by a good 3".

7"NBP would solve all my problems, I'm low 6s bone pressed.

Geeze buddy. This sounds absurd. What a stupid bitch, man.

My girl told me she never gave a shit about this stuff. She wanted me for every other reason other than my dick. She had no idea. I think most real girls think this way. They just want a guy to take care of them as stupid as that sounds.

Having said that. I am obviously not immune from self loathing and careless words coming from women's mouths that start a dark downward spiral. So in this respect I do honestly feel and share your pain. You have a brother in me...

Roxx.

 

[deleted19861241]

Geeze buddy. This sounds absurd. What a stupid bitch, man.

My girl told me she never gave a shit about this stuff. She wanted me for every other reason other than my dick. She had no idea. I think most real girls think this way. They just want a guy to take care of them as stupid as that sounds.

Having said that. I am obviously not immune from self loathing and careless words coming from women's mouths that start a dark downward spiral. So in this respect I do honestly feel and share your pain. You have a brother in me...

Roxx.

She wasnt doing anything cruel, she was just used to this dude for a decade, so in the half lit room she just reached with her mouth where it'd normall have been, I guess. Seeing that and the momentary confusion/panic on her face I was really down on myself, she could tell, and in trying to "fix" it said "I wouldn't say it's small, its just smaller than the other guys I've been with and yeah xyz was massive" gping on to say he was so big it was painful. She was trying to unfuck the situation but just made it worse - even a Christian girl with next to no partners, has never seen smaller, and other guys have so much dick theres actually too much. Women will never understand that hearing an ex was TOO BIG will make you feel even more like crap. Its like saying my ex was so pretty, i usrd to hate all the attention she got from other dudes, and that modelling contract took up so much of her time, I'm glad im with someone plain now.

Thanks for your words, few people understand how devastating this insecurity can be. I can ride out peiples BS just fine, but this is way too constant to just ignore especiqlly with all the unending mentions in society.

My problem is unlike a lot of insecure people, I've had heaps of experience and dont get to 'learn how to please a partner' to cimpensate and feel better about myself, as I already did most of that before this really started to hurt me, so ive had something taken away, rather than having something i can learn.

Just tired of feeling like this.

 

[chupachup33]

Sorry to hear that. Hope u find ur woman who isnt size queens. Dont lose hope not all women like big cocks based from what my women friends tell me.

 

[BMJ31]

Seems like you connected with a lot of shallow and inconsiderate women.

Facts!!!! Let all dat shh go! Date a better quality women

 

[BMJ31]

She wasnt doing anything cruel, she was just used to this dude for a decade, so in the half lit room she just reached with her mouth where it'd normall have been, I guess. Seeing that and the momentary confusion/panic on her face I was really down on myself, she could tell, and in trying to "fix" it said "I wouldn't say it's small, its just smaller than the other guys I've been with and yeah xyz was massive" gping on to say he was so big it was painful. She was trying to unfuck the situation but just made it worse - even a Christian girl with next to no partners, has never seen smaller, and other guys have so much dick theres actually too much. Women will never understand that hearing an ex was TOO BIG will make you feel even more like crap. Its like saying my ex was so pretty, i usrd to hate all the attention she got from other dudes, and that modelling contract took up so much of her time, I'm glad im with someone plain now.

Thanks for your words, few people understand how devastating this insecurity can be. I can ride out peiples BS just fine, but this is way too constant to just ignore especiqlly with all the unending mentions in society.

My problem is unlike a lot of insecure people, I've had heaps of experience and dont get to 'learn how to please a partner' to cimpensate and feel better about myself, as I already did most of that before this really started to hurt me, so ive had something taken away, rather than having something i can learn.

Just tired of feeling like this.

Block and delete anyone that does this.. You shouldn’t be dating or surrounding yourself w shallow people.. You are in control of your insecurities man. LOVE ALL OF YOU!! Once you do that, life gets better

 

[Lookinginconshy]