"Structured" personalities

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dongalong, Feb 13, 2008.

  1. dongalong

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    There is an attractive girl at work who seems to have "structured" her life. To me she seems to be quite sad, she doesn't behave like a normal person and never seems to have much fun. She only mingles with a few of her management colleagues and will shy away if anyone (other than management) tries to speak with her.
    Even though she is quite hot and dresses rather sexily, I have learned that people like that don't make ideal partners so I'm not persuing her but I am curious to discover why some people like her, close their minds and surround themselves with self imposed limits and restrictions.

    Do you know anyone like that?

    What makes them like that do you think?

    Are you like that? If yes tell us about yourself
     
  2. Rugbypup

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    Some folks prefer to keep work work and nothing more.
     
  3. dongalong

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    True, but why would they prefer that way to a more open, fun approach? I'm trying to work out what benefit they get from being like that.
     
  4. Rugbypup

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    She could feel officers and privates dont mix.

    Perhaps shes not as confident as you think and she feels if she's too paly with people they wont respect her if she has to put the boot in.
     
  5. snoozan

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    She may not be that way anywhere but work-- and the advantage of that is not getting involved in office drama. She may just be shy. Otherwise, some people are truly more content with a a structured, routinized life. Everyone is different.

    My husband was my supervisor at work when we met. He was quiet, focused, and somewhat intolerant of anything but doing your job 100%. He was very gruff. To my surprise, he's completely different as a father and husband.
     
  6. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    She's a bitch. Avoid her.
     
  7. snoozan

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    ?
     
  8. Rugbypup

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    Lol, why do i get the feeling you were holding back the full force of the punch, lol.
     
  9. viking1

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    I'm pretty much that way. Except for being hot, and wearing sexy clothes.

    For years there's been nothing for me but work. I just engrossed myself in it to get my mind off my sadness. I'm not happy, and I seldom have fun.
    The only time my mind is totally occupied is when I working on something tough that takes all my ability. That rarely happens. There just isn't anything else, and it's too late for any change now, it's all gone by...
     
  10. jason_els

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    Any manager who shies away from the peons is a poor manager. It creates tension between management and staff, distances the manager from the very people she needs to manage, and likely reflects poor self-esteem manifest through a situational Narcissus response where she imagines her rank raises her above such things.

    Seen a million of them. Stay away.
     
  11. Rugbypup

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    Yeah, it's a good point too.
     
  12. lttlgrllst

    lttlgrllst New Member

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    How sad Viking1.:frown:
     
  13. Lex

    Lex
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    Many "attractive" women have very low self esteem. I do not subscribe to a philosophy that a certain look is too hot to date. It's all about connection, compatibility and honesty.

    I think that most men fall short by not actually approaching the people they like. The worst they can say is "no thank you" to a date/coffee offer.
     
  14. dongalong

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    It sounds like she has the same mind frame as you.
    Have you tried to change your way of life? It almost sounds like you don't want to.
     
  15. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    People accuse me of being like that girl in your office. All i can say is that we're all different and we have our ways of doing things without necessarily being suicidal.
    She might feel insecured, shy, or perhaps she doesn't care to mingle with certain people at your office. It could be anything. I think you really like her and that is why it concerns you the way she is. I'd suggest for you to try to break the ice with her and see what happens.
     
  16. Gonzo3

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    World wide dudes ,world wide
    ........................WOW.
     
  17. dongalong

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    Yes I've seen quite a few like that too, the sad thing is she isn't higher ranked than me :cool:
     
  18. viking1

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    At my age it's most too late to change. I wouldn't begin to know how to change things anyway. Sometimes I think I'd like to change things, but I have no idea how to go about changing anything. Most of the time I think it's too late, and hopeless...
     
  19. whatireallywant

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    I'm very shy in real life and have been mistaken for everything from a lesbian "trying out" being straight, to developmentally disabled! :eek: No, I just have a severe shyness and social anxiety problem that is a result of being bullied as a child. I am better in some situations than in others, and at work I do tend to concentrate on work 100% because it's the only way I can keep my job (and even then not always). I also don't date co-workers. That leads to just too many problems. I've heard of a few instances where it is successful, but too many others that just cause problems at work.

    Not that I've ever wanted to date any of my co-workers though! :biggrin1: The very few that I ever found attractive were all married.
     
  20. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Personality disorder or shy personality perhaps.
     
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