An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, and overcome by pain, he crawled slowly down the stairs. Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favourite perogies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached for a perogie at the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife. "Fuck off." she said. "They're for the funeral."