Turned on by...

[13788]

rollingstone: Ok this is a weird one,
Im an average sized guy about 6" in length and about 5" around.
About 6 months ago i bough a couple of large dildos for my girlfriend, they are about 9" long and 6.5" around. I had found the idea of her using these a big turn on.
ANyhow at first she was dubious, but eventually got into the whole thing.
The thing is recently we started a sex game where she humiliates me for having a small cock (talking dirty about how she likes them big and mine isn't good enough)
The thing is this is a massive turn on now - but i had never even considered it before the dildos.
However when im not so turned on about it (post sex etc.) it does get me wondering how much of what she says it true?

She's also written me a few emails along these lines which i'll post if anyone is interested.

I'm not sure why i'm posting this here, but it would be nice to get peoples ideas on the whole situation...

(my first post too - sorry if it's the wrong sort of topic for the forum)

 

[13788]

rollingstone: Anyone?

Would much appreciate any ideas or anything... cheers!!

 

[surferboy]

Talk to her about it. People gotta learn to communicate when in a relationship.

 

[madame_zora]

Personally, I find humiliation distasteful and a bad context for a loving relationship. I think you're travelling down a slippery road, I wouldn't want to be there.

 

[jonb]

Oh, so no S&M play?

 

[Altairion]

Originally posted by madame_zora@Apr 11 2005, 03:18 PM
Personally, I find humiliation distasteful and a bad context for a loving relationship. I think you're travelling down a slippery road, I wouldn't want to be there.

[post=299660]Quoted post[/post]​

*Takes a cardboard box labeled Jana's Dominatrix Presents out to the dumpster.

So my plans are scrapped for tonight. Anyone have anything cool planned?

 

[Knight]

Yeah humiliation isnt my thing either. I find appreciating what each other has is better. Ask your girlfriend, maybe you were pressuring her about the dildos and she got so into the humiliation game...and your penis is average sized in no way is it small. 8 out of ten guys has the same sized penis as you.

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: The thing that can be great and seductive about humiliation:

"The thing is this is a massive turn on now - but i had never even considered it before the dildos."

What's so dangerous about humiliation (for people who do find it a turn on):

"However when im not so turned on about it (post sex etc.) it does get me wondering how much of what she says it true?"


You "need" (just my opinion) to have a talk with your girlfriend about your feelings and be able to keep what is real separate from what is fantasy. Be forewarned, part of the turnon of the fantasy is that it might be real.

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by jonb@Apr 11 2005, 10:36 PM
Oh, so no S&M play?

[post=299718]Quoted post[/post]​

I realise this was a joke, but in all seriousness light b&d is very different from humiliation. S&m is never okay with me, as I dislike anything that has a serious potential for psychological damage. A little pain, a little control play- no big deal. Anything more serious than that has me heading for the door.

Don't think that will keep me from kicking your ass in the fleshpile though!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

I'm in agreement with MZ there, Rolling Stone. Humiliation may be preferable to some in a relationship,(God knows why&#33 but it also shoots self esteem to shit.
If she feels she really needs to point your faults to get you going for sex, I wouldn't believe it's a relationship worth continuing.

 

[13788]

rollingstone: Thanks for everybodys input so far,
It's really very much appreciated - good to see that being an average sized guy dosnt eliminate you from partaking on the board.
It's really fascinating to see how you guys see the world.

As for my situation - i wouldnt say that my relationship isnt worth it, despite the whole humiliation thing our relationship is very strong, indeed if it wasnt then our ability to try out these kind of sex games wouldnt exist.

My partner and i have been together for around 2 years and have tried all sorts of different sex play, it just seems that this particular game is quite a turn on.

In a way, despite my rare worries, i find the whole thing quite liberating (odd i know)
but in the same way that you guys get off on knowing that girls are loving your size it is still a big turn on for us average guys to know that girls get off on big dicks (even if we dont have them&#33 it is sort of a doorway into a world you otherwise wouldnt see.

I supose the real turn on is the fact that you get to hear your girlfriend being very dirty and animalistic about sex, also it lets you turn what could otherwise be a festering worry into something that is actually positive. The thing that reassures me is that whilst i may not be hung, me and my girl can still experience both sides (well almost) of the fence - as she and i can still use the larger toys - but rather than it just be something she gets of on in a perhaps slightly guilty way, becomes something we cna both enjoy - she neednt worry about offending me, because i am happy to fall into that role because it is a turn on.

Im sure many people wouldnt understand this - and i look forward to further views on this subject... thanks again guys!